"Britain.. you're just not listening are you?" Tony Blair has been writing for the Guardian… oh this is the Holy Grail. I thought my Spleen was venting when Hazel “Squirrel featured Rat Woman” Blears started thumping on with the New Labour Fantasy. Little did I know.
He’s thumping on as usual about far reaching reforms and what his critics are complaining about. I’ve a far reaching reform for you Tone.. how about a Conservative Government? Eh? How’d you like that for size you power hungry shadow of a socialist?
He begins…
“It is the best of times, but is it also the worst? Had anyone offered any Labour activist 10 years ago what we have since achieved in government they would have taken it without a second thought:”
The best of times????? Read that again….
“It is the best of times,”
Clearly our man Tone is now the Rt. Honourable Member for Fecking Narnia. What is he thinking? Even Blears and Toynbee steer clear of anything of this magnitude.
Look Tone you can bleat on about your achievements as much as you like, the only thing you have achieved in government is to remain in government. That’s it. The NHS is shite, the Economy is not your achievement, unemployment is up, crime is up. Just how fucking stupid do you think we are?
I’ve some Labour Achievements for you… try these or these. He carries on:
“nine years of economic growth,” – yes Tone but at a lower rate than the 11 years of economic growth that preceded it.
“the best employment record in the G7” – yes Tone because you’ve bloated the public sector with anyone you could give a job to regardless of ability, and you’ve dumped schooleavers into University on aromatherapy courses so that when they come out they’ll have a debt and still no job. Still not to worry eh Tone? The Tories will clean up after you just like they cleaned up after Callaghan
“public services improving” – Where? At best public services are improving because you’re now reinstating things like market driven healthcare and grant maintained schools.. er didn’t you kill them off?
“people less likely to be victims of crime than at any time in recent history”
Oh for feck’s sake? Your Police Officers aren’t real police officers, you’re letting criminals out to roam the streets, paedophiles to live near schools and your crime rate is going up… even the BCS says this. What are you doing man? Are you changing the definition of a criminal to “a person with civil libierties” because we’re less likely to come across one of those lately.
“huge cuts in child and pensioner poverty” – again where? Pensioners are protesting that they can’t afford to live, you’re having to bribe them with a one off £200 allowance curiously near a general election. Surely you must be referring to a 68 year old care in the community case that we still pay £134,000 a year for.
He’s thumping on as usual about far reaching reforms and what his critics are complaining about. I’ve a far reaching reform for you Tone.. how about a Conservative Government? Eh? How’d you like that for size you power hungry shadow of a socialist?
He begins…
“It is the best of times, but is it also the worst? Had anyone offered any Labour activist 10 years ago what we have since achieved in government they would have taken it without a second thought:”
The best of times????? Read that again….
“It is the best of times,”
Clearly our man Tone is now the Rt. Honourable Member for Fecking Narnia. What is he thinking? Even Blears and Toynbee steer clear of anything of this magnitude.
Look Tone you can bleat on about your achievements as much as you like, the only thing you have achieved in government is to remain in government. That’s it. The NHS is shite, the Economy is not your achievement, unemployment is up, crime is up. Just how fucking stupid do you think we are?
I’ve some Labour Achievements for you… try these or these. He carries on:
“nine years of economic growth,” – yes Tone but at a lower rate than the 11 years of economic growth that preceded it.
“the best employment record in the G7” – yes Tone because you’ve bloated the public sector with anyone you could give a job to regardless of ability, and you’ve dumped schooleavers into University on aromatherapy courses so that when they come out they’ll have a debt and still no job. Still not to worry eh Tone? The Tories will clean up after you just like they cleaned up after Callaghan
“public services improving” – Where? At best public services are improving because you’re now reinstating things like market driven healthcare and grant maintained schools.. er didn’t you kill them off?
“people less likely to be victims of crime than at any time in recent history”
Oh for feck’s sake? Your Police Officers aren’t real police officers, you’re letting criminals out to roam the streets, paedophiles to live near schools and your crime rate is going up… even the BCS says this. What are you doing man? Are you changing the definition of a criminal to “a person with civil libierties” because we’re less likely to come across one of those lately.
“huge cuts in child and pensioner poverty” – again where? Pensioners are protesting that they can’t afford to live, you’re having to bribe them with a one off £200 allowance curiously near a general election. Surely you must be referring to a 68 year old care in the community case that we still pay £134,000 a year for.
I really want to take a cricket bat and bash the entire Tory manifesto into his skull in Morse Code, he would probably just steal the policies the tosser.
“All of this has been made possible by three election victories. And why shouldn't there be a fourth?”
I’ll tell you why there shouldn’t be a fourth you grinning Stalinist:
- You’re spending £134,000 of our money employing Prescott to do FECK ALL! The last time I checked Job Seekers’ Allowance was £58 per week.
- You’re spending £7,000 on your wife’s hair
- While the NHS has a £2bn deficit you’re buying a fucking plane.
- While troops are dying from a lack of protective foam in aircraft, no body armour and lack of ammunition you’re buying another fecking plane.
We don’t want you… your own fecking party doesn’t want you. Hell even Polly fecking Toynbee doesn’t want you. You’re not a Prime Minister you’re an incompetent power monger and if you want to do something for the good of the country then feck off. We’ll celebrate it with that extra bank holiday you keep asking for.
“It is all a million miles from the last time a Labour government lost an election, after the cuts and chaos of the late 70s.”
Let me think… Callaghan government:
- Stand pipes in the streets
- Unions fleecing us dry for public sector wages and pensions and striking when they don’t get their way.
- Soaring tax rates
- “Crisis? What Crisis?” or “NHS is in its best ever year”
Are we seeing some familiar ground here? I see cuts and chaos all around me. The Home Office has a new crisis per week, you don’t know where the illegal immigrants are and any minute now some middle eastern muppet will blow himself up again. Just the picture of order and calm isn’t it?
“But there are two key things the Labour party has to do at this juncture.
The first is to expose the strategy of pessimism with which our opponents intend to defeat us, rather than fall in with it.”
David Cameron can be accused of many things but I doubt pessimism is one of them. People are going to vote for Cameron and have voted Conservative because they see a brighter future than you’re providing. Do you remember about 6 weeks ago, they voted Conservative in droves without the Boy Dave having to write any grovelling letters to Guardian readers.
Let’s have a look at those results again shall we?
Conservatives 40%
Liberal Democrats 27%
Labour 26%
“The second thing, as I've said many times, is to renew the Labour party in a way that builds on the big idea behind New Labour:”
Was that big idea fleece everyone and do nothing except have a lot of free holidays and country mansions? We’ve seen it before and we didn’t like it? Every time you’ve “renewed” you’ve done the same shit with a different name. The name we’re looking at now is Conservative. Brown’s not going to help you out of this one.
“Labour has the best arguments on fairness and on the future, which is why the Tories are pretending to move on to our ground.”
How fecking rich is this? Where does he get the bollocks? They’ve all made a career out of taking credit for a Tory economy and nicking any decent Tory idea and relabelling it. Then fucking it up and blaming the Tories for supporting it. Jesus. They abandoned Clause 4, they sold their beliefs down the river for some power, they sold their soul to the devil and now it’s time to pay up. The man shouldn’t be voted out he should be crucified in Wembley Stadium, the ticket sales could pay for the NHS.
“At the heart of this account of "renewal" lies a recognisable narrative - the myth of betrayal. The fact that this Labour government has a better record than any of delivering its manifesto commitments does little to dent the myth. It lies less in the reality of policy than in an exhaustion with the hard work of being the ruling party. In this sense it is understandable. “
Ha Ha Ha … the myth of betrayal, jesus. Go read LabourHome and their article by Dr. Crippen on why he’s not voting Labour any more. I think it might be a betrayal.
“This list can be added to. That too should be part of our debate. I will not be leading Labour into the next election but I will do everything I can to ensure we win it.”
You could probably start by stepping down now…. That might give them a chance.
“That means renewing New Labour, not dumping it. If there's a better idea, let's hear it.”
I’ve got a better idea…. Vote Conservative. Blair can cosy up on the opposition backbenches with any Labour MPs lucky enough to still have a job after the next election.
“This list can be added to. That too should be part of our debate. I will not be leading Labour into the next election but I will do everything I can to ensure we win it.”
You could probably start by stepping down now…. That might give them a chance.
“That means renewing New Labour, not dumping it. If there's a better idea, let's hear it.”
I’ve got a better idea…. Vote Conservative. Blair can cosy up on the opposition backbenches with any Labour MPs lucky enough to still have a job after the next election.
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I'm going to print this post out, mount it ona bed of lead, frame it in solid gold and then drop it on Blair's head from the top of the Big Ben Clock Tower.
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