Monday, June 12, 2006

By-Election Comedy Candidate

Here are some extracts from the Bromley & Chislehurst Labour candidate's web site:

"If elected I pledge to:Neighbourhood Police & Safer Stations: Always campaign for more Neighbourhood Police teams and widely publish their phone no. and email. Pressure for CCTV and staff at all train stations"

Neighbourhood Police Teams eh?. You’ll note here there is no actual mention of Police OFFICERS. No, our Rach is going to recruit a load of Community Support Officers isn’t she? I’m sure they do fantastic work, but basically they have no more powers than you or I. This isn’t a bigger and more effective police presence, it’s just designed to look like one.Knife Crack-down:

"Support five-year sentences for carrying knives and stopping the sale of knives. Back laws for local schools to scan for knives."

Knee Jerk: Again Rachel, had the Labour government not enlisted the help of powerless CSO’s and actually put in some policing then we might not have this problem now.

"ID Cards: Support ID cards to help our security and beat benefit fraud. Back investment in tough immigration controls."

What? Where do they find people who will actually believe this shit? Tougher immigration controls is one thing, but nivestment in tough immigration controls is something else entireley. My good man Wat Tyler can show you where a lot of that investment goes.

"Contract with YOU: Run monthly surgeries and coffee mornings across Bromley & Chislehurst; widely publish my office contact details; run web-based MP inquiry service; hold annual St George's day event"

Take a good look at the above paragraph. Contract with you? Contract? Have some basic spelling will you woman? The observant amongst you may notice that our erstwhile Labour Candidate can’t even spell Bromley & Chislehurst (see below). Says a lot about Labour education standards doesn’t it? She’ll have had an A* I guarantee it.

“both the Conservatives and Lib Dems have repeatedly opposed Labour's funding of YOUR neighbourhood police teams.”

Yes we have… we wanted the money spent on police officers.

“Conservative-controlled Bromley Council has cut YOUR local public services.”

And yet increased our majority by 1.4% at the last election.

”Please feel free to contact me and my Action Team on 020 8460 0626 or by clicking here if you have your own ideas about how we can improve our lives here in Bromley and Chislehurst.”

There’s her contact details my good Guttersnipes, please contact (not contract) her and tell her the way to improve people’s lives is for her to vote Conservative.

UPDATE - They've corrected the spelling on the banner now, but other typos remain.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

As much as the government might bluster and pretend that they will introduce "tougher immigration policies" the reality is that the EU says who we can or cannot allow into our country. We have been sold down the river by both Labour and Tory and now are no longer masters of our own destiny.