Thursday, June 08, 2006

Monthly Report From The Bunker

"Yes the trains will run on time!"
Tony Blair used his monthly press conference to defend the Home Office today, surely as a lawyer he should be able to recognise a defence case he can’t win. Who knows what passes through his brain these days?

Source: epolitix

“Describing the home secretary's role as the "toughest job in government", Tony Blair told his monthly press conference that "there had been a lot of progress" in tackling recent problems.”


Yeah it’s going to be the toughest job in government this time since you and Fungus the fecking Bogeyman Clarke made a right old bollocks of it prior to Judge John Reid turning up to make sure all blame is deflected elsewhere. He doesn’t seem to mention the progress that’s been made in creating new problems does he?


Blair said: "The fact is the Home Office has been subject to huge change as a result of globalisation and also the break up of traditional family life, community life and so crime is of a different nature of 30,40,50 years ago.”

First off whenever Blair starts a reply with “the fact is….” I just want to take a large frying pan and bash the sanctimonious twat in the face screaming “Bastard! Bastard! Bastard! We know the facts! The facts are the facts! Don’t give us the lies you two-faced insidious moron! You’ll be a pretty straight sort of guy when I’ve finished with you, you headline grabbing, money wasting fecktard”

Phew…. Calmer now

Of course the Home Office has been subject to change over the last few years… it’s gone from working to totally fucking up everything that goes near it. They talk about the break up of traditional family life and community life but mention nothing about the fact that they are responsible for it with a climate of state dependency, lack of personal responsibility and the financial benefits of not being married.

“He added that plans such as ID cards, electronic borders and giving summary powers to the police were the only way to bridge the gap and deal with 21st century problems.”

Oh feel the rage Guttersnipes, feel the rage….

AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH! The only way that ID cards will help us deal with a 21st century problem is if they fold out into a portable bomb shelter. I fecking hate the way they claim tht everything from Global Terrorism, through Benefit Fraud to the menstrual cycle can be solved by carrying an ID Card.

ENOUGH WITH THE ID CARDS ALREADY YOU MEDDLING INBRED MUPPETS!

Meanwhile Theresa May made a few points that are worth note.

You remember there was a big fuss after 7/7 we needed to detain people for 90 days? It was in November last year that the government lost a vote but won the vote to get 28 days instead.

Well the Human Rights campaigners amongst you may be pleased to know that the detention term is still 14 days. Yup my dear Guttersnipes, nothing has happened.
New “All Talk” Labour has sat down, reshuffled the cabinet, complained that everyone who voted against the bill was obviously a rucksack stroking Al-Qaeda plant, then done sweet feck all.

If they have been unable to get one law started in 230 days what makes us think they can sort out the Home Office in 100? Or less than 100 as it happens.

Commons leader Jack Straw insisted that "under home secretaries of both parties... there is always some time between the passage of an act and the laying of orders under that act".
And he said the Conservatives had blocked the passage of the legislation.
"If anyone is to blame for the delays, it is the Conservative opposition," Straw said.


Oh for feck’s sake…. Its always the fault of the Tories isn’t it? The fact is (like this phrase Blair?) that Labour have a majority of 66. If every party in the House united against them they still couldn’t overcome a Labour party that had all its members voting with the party.

But Labour can’t get all its members to vote against the opposition parties can it? So who is responsible for the delays now? We’ve not seen them claiming that the Tories are responsible for their education bill have we?
Come on Straw, credit where credit is due.

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