Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Blair's Farewell Footlights Parade... Stop It You're Killing Me!

OK ... This happened yesterday when I was away from the desk... so I catch up with the Mirror's startling revelations.

His genuine legacy is not the delivery, important though that is, but the dominance of new Labour ideas - the triumph of Blairism

Yup... at their hearts they’re still socialists. They may not openly behave like it but the eternal quest for ‘dominance’ clearly shows that they’re all still the children of Stalin and in true Stalinist style the propaganda machine is in overdrive.

A SENSATIONAL memo leaked to the Mirror reveals how Labour experts are planning Tony Blair's exit from No10.

Yes... The Mirror, Britain’s answer to fucking Pravda gets the exclusive. Really, if you’re going to make headlines surely the respected option would be The Times. The mass market option would be The Sun. No... we’re going to use The Mirror since that’s the only rag that’s happy to print Labour spin unedited and without dissenting comment.

The retirement blueprint aims to promote the "triumph of Blairism" and allow the PM to quit on a wave of euphoria after 10 years in office. The secret strategy - drawn up by a small group of loyalists - is well under way.Mr Blair's "farewell tour" includes plans to appear on Blue Peter, Songs of Praise and Chris Evans' radio show.

Let’s read that last bit again...

Mr Blair's "farewell tour" includes plans to appear on Blue Peter

So to promote the triumph of Blairism he’s going on Blue Peter? BLUE PETER? He doesn’t even have enough credibility to get on Newsround? Jesus fucking Christ!

Still given that most of Labour’s NHS reforms have been knocked together out of washing up bottles and blu-tac it’s kind of apt don’t you think?

"He needs to go with the crowds wanting more. He should be the star who won't even play that last encore. In moving towards the end he must focus on the future."

Yes he needs to go with people wanting more but sadly they don’t. The cheering crowds that line the streets for his farewell will be Tories, Lib Dems and it will probably be the only time that Tories and George Galloway will be in agreement. He should be the star who won’t even play that last encore, but he won’t be. He’ll hang on to every last glimmer of limelight regardless of consequences to the country because it’s all about Blair. The triumph of Blairism has been to get the Blairs’ lifestyle funded for 10 years from our hard work.

Other items in his planned farewell itinerary apparently include:

SPENDING a day then an overnight stay in half a dozen cities across the country.
VISITING the 20 most striking buildings opened or redeveloped since 1997.

The Dome perhaps? Wembley Stadium? Holyrood? One dreads to think.

Mr Blair's final weeks in office will be particularly carefully choreographed to ensure cheers rather than jeers. Under the heading "Last month" the memo suggests: "Needs a daily grid, planned to the last detail. As much as possible a farewell tour, looking to the future, making sure the party is in the right place and the public remember him as he should be."

Rather than remember him as he was .... a limelight hugging statist control freak fucking camera whore with delusions of putting the rest of world to rights while shafting Britain up the ass with a pineapple?

The strategy is already under way as the PM embarks on a reputation-enhancing series of lectures.

Because reputation enhancing policy decisions and behaviour is right outside his abilities.

The memo says: "He needs to embrace open spaces, the arts and businesses, he needs to be seen to be travelling on different forms of transport. He needs to be seen with people who will raise eyebrows.

Couldn’t agree more.... let’s see him as a hostage in the Middle East.

1 comment:

Prodicus said...

"He needs to embrace [...]the arts and businesses, he needs to be seen to be travelling on different forms of transport. He needs to be seen with people who will raise eyebrows."

The arts: He filled No 10 with luvvies on Day One.

Different forms of transport: He's done The Tank Shot and The Family Bus Shot. I suppose Bernie Ecclestone could arrange a Ferrari photoshoot.

People who raise eyebrows: Levy, Prescott, Sacranie.. The list is too long already...

Nah - he's done it all. No reason to stay at all, really.