Twas the Week Before Christmas...

... and all through the house not a creature was allowed to do anything fucking pleasurable at all.

It seems that those venal cunts in the government can’t seem to approach the Christmas period without attempting to ban something else.. so once again they target a group of people not known for their criminal intent…. Smokers

BBC:

Motorists who smoke at the wheel could be prosecuted under a new rule in the latest edition of the Highway Code. Smoking drivers would be charged if it is thought they were driving without due care and attention.

Right can I start by suggesting to these cunts that driving without due care and attention is already illegal so why are the smokers being targeted for fuck’s sake… and since when did the Highway Code become fucking law??

Mr Fitzpatrick told BBC News: "What it says is that drivers should remember they have to concentrate and they shouldn't be distracted either by passengers, by loud music, by reading a map, or using a mobile phone or by smoking.

So what you’re saying Fitzy is that if we’re driving a car we shouldn’t be allowed to listen to the radio or talk to our passenger either? Is that the crux of your fucking argument you bureaucratic fucking bummer?

Perhaps now that you’ve banned mobile fucking phone use you’ll be complaining that we’re all now distracted by our Bluetooth sets and fucking SatNavs that we’ve installed. You can just tell that this fucktard gets driven everywhere he has to go can’t you.

Can you explain how say a coach driver taking a load of kids to Alton Towers cannot be distracted by passengers?

But it gets worse…

"If you're lighting up with one hand and have a fag in the other hand then obviously you've not got any hands on the wheel. So I think what we're saying is concentration is very important in the prevention of accidents."

Let’s read that first part again shall we?

"If you're lighting up with one hand and have a fag in the other hand then obviously you've not got any hands on the wheel.”

What fucking cockbollocks… can you think of any smoker, any smoker at all that does this. Simple procedure... one hand places cigarette between lips, same hand then lights it. One hand...

For fuck’s sake… shall we have a few more statements of the fucking obvious for all us dumbasses who are out there on the fucking road?

- If you’re assraping a Thai ladyboy on the back seat when you should be driving then accidents may occur
- If you need to change gear don’t use both hands
- Do not deliberately drive your car into other people
- Steer the car with your hands not your arse
- In England we drive on the left.
- Do not release monkeys in your car

He said: "A major change is the code's inclusion of smoking at the wheel as behaviour that police may interpret as a distraction and failure to be in proper control of the vehicle.

Of course drinking a coffee at the wheel remains perfectly acceptable…

Campaign group Forest described the new smoking rule as "totally unnecessary".

… all the smoking rules are fucking unnecessary and you’ll note that while they apply to us the do not apply to the fucking Houses of Parliament where this fucktardery is thought up.

Anti-smoking organisation Ash said it strongly supported the move.

I wondered how long it would take for the fucking militant wing of the pleasure police to get involved. Fucking holier than thou venal vegan lefty twats… let me say something to any wankers in ASH who might be reading this.

- Firstly… if you are a non smoker you are still going to die.
- Secondly… if you are in ASH and own a car then fuck off… your car throws out far more dangerous pollutants than my cigarette and if my cigarette hits you at 40mph you will be unharmed.

So go and fucking calm down.. have a fag, it helps me.

Research manager Amanda Sanford said: "Clearly, smoking while driving can be a distraction and could lead to accidents “

Fucking hell… being fellated by a team of cheerleaders can be a distraction but they haven’t deemed fit to put it in the Highway fucking Code.

"It seems to be a perfectly sensible measure because the whole business of lighting up involves taking your hands off the wheel, so you're not driving with due care and attention."

And might I add so does changing gear or putting on the handbrake. Looking in the rear view mirror involves taking your eyes off the road. Shall we stop those as well?

Why not target the fucking drunks on the road this Christmas?

Fuck off! Just fuck off you fucking venal cunts!