Friday, November 30, 2007

Strong Words? I Doubt It...

As you are no doubt aware, the Millicunt has summoned the Sudanese ambassador to express his concern in the strongest terms over the jailing of Gillian Gibbons.

But did he really use the strongest terms?

At no point will he have used the word fucktard, at no point will he have inserted the phrase despotic hate-filled cuntjunta, at no point will he have told the ambassador to go fuck himself, at no point will he have smacked his fuckwit face into the teak tables with a sledgehammer. Therefore I imagine that the strongest terms have not been used.

Instead it has been one long round of Ferrero Roche and brandies on the fucking golf course.

However, our Humble Devil has stepped in where batshit clearly fails with this letter.

Dear Sudanese state barbarians,

In Britain, we have a tradition of protecting our citizens (rather than murdering them using deniable militias); indeed, we have mounted monumentally expensive expeditions for the sole purpose of doing just that. So here's the beef...

Let our countrywoman go, right fucking now, or we will immediately cease all aid for the next year.

This will cost you about £113 million. There will be no relenting and you can just fucking starve: besides, why the fuck the British taxpayers are spending £5.7 million on Governance Support on your mass-murdering, genocidal junta anyway, I just don't know.

By the way, you know how we are pulling troops out of Iraq? Well, no one wants to be hasty but there are a hell of a lot of people in Britain clamouring for us to 'do something' about the massacres in Darfur. Just saying is all.

Now she'd better be on the next flight, or we'll get all 21st century weapons tech on your arse.

Now aren’t those stronger terms?


Al said...

Congratulations, you have a Googlewhack on the work "cuntjunta"

I think I need to work it into more conversations from now on...

mitch said...

I think enclosing a Trident catalogue might help too along with some pictures of Hiroshima.