Thursday, December 20, 2007

A Thought Struck Me...

The Liberal Democrats' new leader, Nick Clegg, has announced a reshuffle of the party's front bench.

The full list is available here.

Now go have a look at that list… count them, there are 35 front bench positions in the commons that I can make out which by my calculations, based on the 2005 election count of 62MPs is 56.4% of the Parliamentary Party.

Any backbench rebellions aren’t going to last long are they?

Twas the Week Before Christmas...

... and all through the house not a creature was allowed to do anything fucking pleasurable at all.

It seems that those venal cunts in the government can’t seem to approach the Christmas period without attempting to ban something else.. so once again they target a group of people not known for their criminal intent…. Smokers


Motorists who smoke at the wheel could be prosecuted under a new rule in the latest edition of the Highway Code. Smoking drivers would be charged if it is thought they were driving without due care and attention.

Right can I start by suggesting to these cunts that driving without due care and attention is already illegal so why are the smokers being targeted for fuck’s sake… and since when did the Highway Code become fucking law??

Mr Fitzpatrick told BBC News: "What it says is that drivers should remember they have to concentrate and they shouldn't be distracted either by passengers, by loud music, by reading a map, or using a mobile phone or by smoking.

So what you’re saying Fitzy is that if we’re driving a car we shouldn’t be allowed to listen to the radio or talk to our passenger either? Is that the crux of your fucking argument you bureaucratic fucking bummer?

Perhaps now that you’ve banned mobile fucking phone use you’ll be complaining that we’re all now distracted by our Bluetooth sets and fucking SatNavs that we’ve installed. You can just tell that this fucktard gets driven everywhere he has to go can’t you.

Can you explain how say a coach driver taking a load of kids to Alton Towers cannot be distracted by passengers?

But it gets worse…

"If you're lighting up with one hand and have a fag in the other hand then obviously you've not got any hands on the wheel. So I think what we're saying is concentration is very important in the prevention of accidents."

Let’s read that first part again shall we?

"If you're lighting up with one hand and have a fag in the other hand then obviously you've not got any hands on the wheel.”

What fucking cockbollocks… can you think of any smoker, any smoker at all that does this. Simple procedure... one hand places cigarette between lips, same hand then lights it. One hand...

For fuck’s sake… shall we have a few more statements of the fucking obvious for all us dumbasses who are out there on the fucking road?

- If you’re assraping a Thai ladyboy on the back seat when you should be driving then accidents may occur
- If you need to change gear don’t use both hands
- Do not deliberately drive your car into other people
- Steer the car with your hands not your arse
- In England we drive on the left.
- Do not release monkeys in your car

He said: "A major change is the code's inclusion of smoking at the wheel as behaviour that police may interpret as a distraction and failure to be in proper control of the vehicle.

Of course drinking a coffee at the wheel remains perfectly acceptable…

Campaign group Forest described the new smoking rule as "totally unnecessary".

… all the smoking rules are fucking unnecessary and you’ll note that while they apply to us the do not apply to the fucking Houses of Parliament where this fucktardery is thought up.

Anti-smoking organisation Ash said it strongly supported the move.

I wondered how long it would take for the fucking militant wing of the pleasure police to get involved. Fucking holier than thou venal vegan lefty twats… let me say something to any wankers in ASH who might be reading this.

- Firstly… if you are a non smoker you are still going to die.
- Secondly… if you are in ASH and own a car then fuck off… your car throws out far more dangerous pollutants than my cigarette and if my cigarette hits you at 40mph you will be unharmed.

So go and fucking calm down.. have a fag, it helps me.

Research manager Amanda Sanford said: "Clearly, smoking while driving can be a distraction and could lead to accidents “

Fucking hell… being fellated by a team of cheerleaders can be a distraction but they haven’t deemed fit to put it in the Highway fucking Code.

"It seems to be a perfectly sensible measure because the whole business of lighting up involves taking your hands off the wheel, so you're not driving with due care and attention."

And might I add so does changing gear or putting on the handbrake. Looking in the rear view mirror involves taking your eyes off the road. Shall we stop those as well?

Why not target the fucking drunks on the road this Christmas?

Fuck off! Just fuck off you fucking venal cunts!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Forget? I Don't Think So...

During the PMs press conference Gordo has ducked out from hiding behind Alistair Darling


Prime Minister Gordon Brown has said recent scandals to have hit the government, such as data loss and proxy donations, will be "quickly forgotten".

Since it is panto season…

Oh No They Fucking Won’t Sunshine!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Words Fail Me!

Today at his Commons grilling session Gordo said:

"You cannot make decisions and assume that people will simply follow them. Most decisions can only be successful if people are part of the process."

He then fucked off to sign the fucking EU treaty before you could say "We Still Want a Referendum"

Doesn't this count as lying to Parliament?

Fucking two-faced one-eyed cunt!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Government: Self-Serving Shameless Fucking Scum

In addition to our own armed forces appearing well down on our ratshit government’s priority list they are extending their shameless brand of cuntery to their aupport staff as well.


More than half the Iraqi interpreters who applied to come to live in Britain have had their applications rejected, drawing accusations that the Government is “wriggling out” of its promise to help former Iraqi employees. The Times has learnt that 125 of the 200 interpreters who took up the offer to resettle in Britain have failed to meet the strict criteria laid down for eligibility.

Labour wriggling out of a promise? Well there’s something new isn’t there?

We have campaigned for these people to be granted asylum for months on the basis that they have put themselves in the firing line for the betterment of their country and if you believe Blair’s look on everything bettering ours as well.

But no… this is fucking Labour isn’t it? And their army of fucking nit-picking fucking civil cunt servants whose sole experience of running from something is running from one fucking taxpayer-funded gravy train to the next.

In three cases seen by The Times, former Iraqi employees were told that they were ineligible because of “absenteeism”.

Absenteeism… I imagine that the Iraqi interpreters have a slightly different level of excuse for being absent from work. They’re not just sat on their arses at home with last night’s pizza watching Jeremy Kyle while they nurse the mildest hangover recorded since George Best had one small sherry.

They’re not taking the average civil servant’s fucking junket by spending an average of 5 weeks off on sick, or just fucking going on strike. They’re fucking being hunted down and killed along with their families you fucking fucks.

This is the letter they got.

“We have considered your case very carefully but we are sorry to inform you that, because your service with the British Forces was terminated for absence, you do not meet the minimum employment criteria for this scheme.”

And the reason for his absence?

Safa told The Times that he had never resigned but had been forced to stop working after receiving two bullets and a written death threat at his house in Basra in April. Married with one child, he said that he was advised by an army liaison officer and intelligence officials to stay at home until he felt safe.

So we advised him to stay off work, and then we fuck him over for doing so. Fucking mandarin cunts.

Lynne Featherstone, a Liberal Democrat MP who has championed the cause of the Iraqi interpreters, said that the Government needed to use its imagination in a difficult case.

Now.. much as Lynne’s got the right angle here… this is not a difficult case. This is a fucking piece of piss.

Meanwhile Batshit fucking smug ratcunt Milliband will be off in his comfortable fucking hotel signing the EU treaty to make sure we have fewer fucking rights than the Iraqis…

Cunts all of them, I cannot think of a better case for a live fucking beheading.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Terry: An Advert For State Education

Over at resident joke butt Terry Kelly's blog he is talking about his birthday...

"They say that you are getting on when you are glad that the phone is not ringing for you, well that has already happened and suddenly, yesterday it was, I became 59. Another big 0 approaches and a third of my life is almost over, I continue to grow old disgracefully."

So, as a lasting testament to the brilliance of his beloved state education system Terry believes a third of his life to be nearly over at 59.

Is the NHS keeping people alive until they are 180 these days?

Terry is, of course, Wendy Alexander's election agent. Curiously you'll find absolutely no posts about Wendy of late.

If you're in the mood, do check out
Terry Watch. Brilliant stuff.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Should He Be Sacked?


“The Conservatives have called for Paul Myners, the prominent businessman who is head of the Personal Accounts Delivery Authority (PADA), to be sacked after he attacked the party during an edition of BBC1's Question Time last week.

Chris Grayling, Tory pension spokesman, yesterday lodged a formal complaint with the Department of Work and Pensions and Secretary of State Peter Hain.”

Well the man’s entitled to his opinion… I think calling for him to be sacked is a bit much. On the same basis we could demand Terry Kelly and Neil Harding to be sacked. It would be a lovely world wouldn’t it?

No… don’t sack him, just look at his argument.

“The complaint comes after Mr Myners, former chairman of Marks and Spencer, accused David Cameron of being a "superior young toff" whose only job outside politics was to work at a TV company that "lost billions".”

Now I think given the whole woes of Marks and Spencer at the time Mr. Myners departed to become a Civil Service Labour Party stooge, this is a bit rich.

However say what he likes about David Cameron, his option appears to be a one-eyed arrogant cuntbubble who has never had a job outside politics.

Fairly easy to dismantle when you look at it isn’t it?

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Quote Of The Day... and It's Not In PMQs

OK I'm a geek (not in the same league as Dizzy mind) but I've never really seen the pull of World of Warcraft.

However this review in The Register caught my eye...

"For the hardcore World of Warcraft fan who has everything (but regular access to fresh air and sunlight, of course): How about a WoW-themed gaming notebook?

Dell is punting a special edition of the XPS M1730 emblazoned with World of Warcraft artwork and a goodie bag of extras."

Fairly techie stuff in the review... but the summary had me in stitches:

"If you were simply mulling the idea of permanent virginity before, now is your chance to really grab it by the horns. "

Give that man a promotion!

TwatWatch... Neil Harding!

Apparently, according to Neil Harding… all the current woes in Britain are down to Margaret Thatcher… 17 years after she stopped being Prime Minister she’s had such an effect that she’s still strangling the country after a greater length of time than she was in charge of it.

Amongst such things that Maggie should be taking full and personal responsibility for are Northern Rock, fat kids, being crap at sport and muslim terrorism by personal favourite, and the reason it has taken me so long to blog this due to laughter is…

"Dodgy Party Funding and DataGate - Thatcher's autocratic style and disregard for democracy 'won' elections and forced Labour to follow suit. Thatcher abolished local government and she put undemocratic Quangos in its place. We still haven't recovered from this top-down unaccountable managerial inefficiency."

Oh for fuck's sake, as Longrider and DK say... "Now I've heard everything".

Even Blair failed to stay in power as long as Thatcher. Let’s be fair here, Maggie was duly elected for an 11 year period, and even after that the nation elected the greyest man in politics rather than the lefty ginger welsh thoughtcrime that was Neil Kinnock. What was undemocratic about that?

Of course, you currently have a leader that has not been elected even by his own party, another leader, a deputy leader and a deputy leader wannabe who all got there through obtaining illegal money, and the Labour government have more unelected quangoes and appointed people in the Lords based on the size of their wallets than anyone else in history.

What… the fuck… are you thinking? That Thatcher forced Labour to bring in laws on election donations and then break them? What fucking lunacy!

Although I thoroughly enjoyed the irony of a dinosaur fucking socialist complaining about the evils of "top-down unaccountable managerial inefficiency".

Fucking priceless.

Just How Moral Is That Compass?

Over at Harry Haddock's fine shopkeeping nation... I believe he has reached breaking point.

"Then we had David ‘fly the red flag’ Blunkett. Misuse of public funds for his shag piece. Peter ‘dances like a dream’ Mandleson. Dodgy loans. Twice. Dodgy dossiers ~ no juicy sex action here, just a few thousand dead British servicemen, countless dead and injured Iraqi’s, a great scientist driven to suicide, and a country left in tatters. The general stench was so overwhelming it is hard to catalogue it all. Cash for honours ~ no wrong doing there, obviously. Tobacco advertising bans mysteriously lifted to the benefit of wealthy labour donors.

Meanwhile, without a hint of irony, they stand over us and tell us how simply horrid we all are. First it was handguns, as we couldn’t be trusted. Then fox hunting, a pastime for barbarians ~ oh, why can you not be civilised like us (that will get you back for the miners)?, You’re all eating fatty foods! And salt! And drinking to much! Stop smoking at the back ~ right, that’s it ~ banned (not in our place of work, obviously)! Thousand upon thousand of new laws to keep the rabble in line, while they attend parties with the great and the good to discuss funding their monster."

Do read the whole thing... It is a work of genius.

Putting It Into Perspective

Get accused of fiddling your expenses without proof... and you're managed out of the system.

"Despite being only 48, Andy Hayman, an assistant commisioner, said the "time was right" for him to leave his high-profile job as head of the specialist operations department at the Metropolitan Police, which includes anti-terror and protection squads."

"In recent weeks, it has emerged that Mr Hayman was facing an investigation into £15,000 of expenses claims and foreign trips with a woman police sergeant, Heidi Tubby, his former staff officer. Mr Hayman has denied any impropriety and has offered a justification for all expenditure."

However get caught bang to rights accepting illegal monies... and you're job's secure:

"Wayne David, Labour MP for Caerphilly, told BBC Radio Wales the non-declaration of donations was a "huge cock up" but there was "no question at all about Peter Hain being a man of integrity and transparent honesty". BBC

"Gordon Brown’s election chief, Douglas Alexander, ordered his sister not to resign as Scottish Labour Party leader for fear of causing fallout throughout the Cabinet. " Times

"Harriet Harman today insisted she will not be forced out of the Cabinet by her role in Labour’s unlawful donations crisis. " Telegraph

Fucking self-serving fucking cunting cunts!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Scottish Labour's Priorities...


"Meanwhile, the hunt is on for the "mole" who leaked the names of donors to the Sunday Herald newspaper.

Two Labour peers, Lord Maxton and Baroness Adams, have asked the police to investigate."

No doubt they'll put far more effort into checking the source of the leaks than they do with checking the source of donations.

I Might Not Know A Lot About Art...

...But I know bollocks when I see it….

Mark Wallinger has been named the winner of the Turner Prize for his replica of the one-man anti-war protest in Parliament Square, State Britain.

A replica of Brian Haw’s protest? A replica? So let me get this straight… this fucktard basically copied someone else’s work and got paid £25,000 for doing so. Meanwhile Brian Haw, who let’s not forget has just had his original work plagiarised by a Campari drinking twat, is still sitting out in the rain rather devoid of £25K he might just appreciate.

So, anyone want to start a petition?

“We, the undersigned believe that Brian Haws deserves £25K since he did the original work and there are copyright issues and all that, plus when Brian actually manages to get all our troops brought back home there’s nothing they’d like more than to go round and kick ten bells out of this conceptual fucktard”
Think it will catch on?
“For the exhibition he chose to display a film of him roaming the National Gallery in Berlin in a bear suit. “
Oh for fuck’s sake…. Can someone in the art world please, please have the courage to say “actually you know what? That’s bollocks”
A fucking bear suit and this makes him an artist? Probably the same calibre of artist that these chaps are then…

Every detail was copied from his tarpaulin shelter and tea-making area to the messages of support and hand-painted placards.

Get that… copied! In later years are we going to see school report cards that say “We are proud to give young Gutternsipe an A* as he has copied every detail of young Darren’s essays”.
Just fuck off…. And take your fucking artwork and shove it up your thought-provoking arse… in a postmodern fashion if you like.
However it’s not all £25,000 bungs to fucktards…. Some of them only get £5,000.
Nelson was shortlisted for Amnesiac Shrine, which features a maze of mirrors,
Anything like this one?

They get £5,000 for this sort of shit…. You can buy a Deputy Labour Leader for that amount.

Last year German-born artist Tomma Abts became the first woman painter to win the prize.
Well fuck me with Monet’s paintbrush…. Somebody actually won it for painting something? I don’t believe it… although it was probably just a wall with “I have painted something” written on it.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Did You Find What You Were Looking For? - November

Grateful as I am for every Guttersnipe who appears to view these sacred pages. Some of the things that are being searched for really raise too many questions:

Gordon brown kiddie fiddler (??? – Brown’s many things, but this?)
Twat problems (I share your pain brother or at least I think I do)
Harriet Harman is a cunt
David Abrahams rent boys
Teddy bear fucking muslims
Religious belief for spleen

But did this person find what he was looking for?

Goth girls fuck for money

And what the fuck was this person trying to find?

catalog lingerie scan grattan 19

Sunday, December 02, 2007

What Does One Have To Do To Get Fired?

My good Greek friend's lefty love interest is vowing not to go down without a fight...


"Wendy Alexander intends to carry on as Scottish Labour leader, despite continued pressure for her to quit over donations to her leadership campaign. "

Well that's not really surprising given that integrity and honour are seen as mere obstacles to becoming a Labour leader rather than desirable qualities.

Harman's still in a job, Mendhelson's still in a job, Hain's still in a job. What does one have to do to get fired in the Labour party?

However things are going to go from bad to worse in the future because the only thing that will make this story go away is if the protagonists go away, and Brown can't sack Harman because he doesn't employ her. The Labour Party would need to bung in a vote of no confidence in its Deputy Leader, Brown gets no bigger say that anyone else... and it does appear that she's not going to resign.

Now, the muttering has started for successors to Gordon Brown. But unlike the Tories, the Labour Party have no means of making a leadership challenge to get rid of Brown, any more than they could to get rid of Blair. If Brown wants to stay, he's staying.

We'll be putting up with this shower of shit for some time now.

Psychologically Dysfunctional... I Like It!

I don't usually look further into ConHome's Columnists section, however I do wish I'd written this:

The first run on a British bank for a century, and Brown’s reaction is to undermine the Bank of England governor through newspaper leaks. We get an ID fiasco beyond the realms of the imaginable, and Brown’s response is to blame a clerk and to attack the Conservatives for their 2005 election manifesto. It was that moment at PMQs which convinced me that Brown is, at best, psychologically dysfunctional. Only a machine could have felt it was in its tactical interests to attempt to blame David Cameron for the child benefit identity disaster. Now he seeks to end the career of Harriet Harman, rather than tell us the truth about what his campaign team knew about the illicit funding scandal.

Soon there will be insufficient useful idiots to take the bullets for Brown: who’s he going to use then? If I were (shudder) Ed Balls or Douglas Alexander, I would be lying awake at night, wondering how long I could rely on the protection of the Leader; how much would my years of devoted loyalty count for, if push comes – as it will – to shove? I doubt we’re able to begin to guess at the level of paranoia in the Bunker of the Fist. "

Go read the whole thing.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

We Didn't See This One Coming Now Did We?

It seems that anyone who thought that the dodgy donations scandal would be used to shoe-horn in state funding were right:

"The last week has shown the need for immediate changes in our own party.

"But I would also argue it has seen the need for broader change within our system of political funding," he told party supporters.

Gordon, let me be clear on this…

We don’t need you to change the rules on party funding. We just need you to fucking obey them!

"We have learned just how easily trust in our politics can be eroded. We must now complete the work of change, address the problems that still remain to be resolved, not hesitate to make the changes necessary and seek to build greater confidence in the integrity of our political system".
I think the changes necessary to build greater integrity in our political system is for you, and your party to fuck off. Right now. Just fuck off... and take your bunch of cocksnuffling charlatans with you.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Have You Noticed...?

Has anyone else noticed the subtle alteration in Harriet Harman’s argument since she took over… I paraphrase here slightly but:

June 2007: “I should become Deputy Leader of the Labour Party because I am a woman”

November 2007: “I should remain Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, I didn’t know about any of these things, I’m just a girl”

Clutching At Straws...

It’s bad enough having Blears, Brown and that stupid NuLab fucktard Flint banging on in defence of the rank stinking corruption that is the Labour Party, but in typical fashion we now have Neil fucking Harding too…

Although Brown cannot be blamed for some of the problems Labour currently faces - (
discgate could have happened under any government and the party funding fiascos that puts the blame for sleaze solely at Labour's door is unfair because it... ignores the fact that the Tories with their front companies are just better at disguising their anonymous loans.

Neil, Neil, Neil you seem to be hiding behind the usual Labour mantra of “we might be bad but the Tories are far worse”.

The website you link to shows companies funding the Tories by loans. You can hardly state that the Tories are better at disguising their anonymous loans when frankly those loans have been declared. Hardly what one would call anonymous.

Putting the blame for this sleaze at Labour’s door is precisely fair, all the way through the selling peerages scandal, sorry… did I say scandal? I meant all the way through the selling peerages rank corruption on the part of the government, Labour said the Tories do it all the time, and yet provided and could provide no evidence of it at all. The Tories walked away clean, you just have a problem with it being possibly because they were clean.

For all the Tory sleaze of the 90s, it was all about knobbing the odd actress or meeting up with the odd rent boy... it did not involve the selling of a section of our democracy, it does not involve a £650,000 money laundering operation, it did not involve anyone fast-tracking their nanny's visa. Your lot are fucking corrupt.

Also, the laws on party funding transparency never existed before Labour came in. The Tories were perfectly content for all sorts of dodgy donors to be kept secret. Worse activity by the Tories before 1997 undoubtedly went unnoticed…

This may well be the case, but the key difference is that when Labour brought these laws in the Tories obeyed them. They may well have been content to hide secret donors, however when the law required them to be more open they have been. Which is a damn sight more than the shower of shite you are allied to who seem to believe that their own laws do not apply to them.

and so far there is no reason to suspect that
Labour donor David Abrahams is anything other than just publicity shy, rather than corrupt. Can the same be said about Lord Ashcroft (who wont even live here and pay tax) and others who donate to the Tories.

Has Lord Ashcroft done anything illegal? He has donated money which is being spent on targeting marginal seats, I can’t see that there is anything wrong with that. All parties target marginal seats. Lord Ashcroft’s donations are declared, well publicised and if there are any issues with them then the information is there to act on them.

If anyone cares to ask what Lord Ashcroft is doing with his money then the answers are available. Should anyone wish to ask what David Abrahams is doing with his money I imagine the police might need to be involved, but hang on…
they are.

Whiter than white… purer than pure… it’s just bollocks.

Strong Words? I Doubt It...

As you are no doubt aware, the Millicunt has summoned the Sudanese ambassador to express his concern in the strongest terms over the jailing of Gillian Gibbons.

But did he really use the strongest terms?

At no point will he have used the word fucktard, at no point will he have inserted the phrase despotic hate-filled cuntjunta, at no point will he have told the ambassador to go fuck himself, at no point will he have smacked his fuckwit face into the teak tables with a sledgehammer. Therefore I imagine that the strongest terms have not been used.

Instead it has been one long round of Ferrero Roche and brandies on the fucking golf course.

However, our Humble Devil has stepped in where batshit clearly fails with this letter.

Dear Sudanese state barbarians,

In Britain, we have a tradition of protecting our citizens (rather than murdering them using deniable militias); indeed, we have mounted monumentally expensive expeditions for the sole purpose of doing just that. So here's the beef...

Let our countrywoman go, right fucking now, or we will immediately cease all aid for the next year.

This will cost you about £113 million. There will be no relenting and you can just fucking starve: besides, why the fuck the British taxpayers are spending £5.7 million on Governance Support on your mass-murdering, genocidal junta anyway, I just don't know.

By the way, you know how we are pulling troops out of Iraq? Well, no one wants to be hasty but there are a hell of a lot of people in Britain clamouring for us to 'do something' about the massacres in Darfur. Just saying is all.

Now she'd better be on the next flight, or we'll get all 21st century weapons tech on your arse.

Now aren’t those stronger terms?

Thursday, November 29, 2007

And Today's Government Fuck Up Is....

Telegraph again...

"Hundreds of criminals, including those accused of sexual offences, have avoided prosecution after a "cover-up" in magistrates' courts, The Daily Telegraph can disclose. Jack Straw, the Justice Secretary, is to admit that over a period of "many years" hundreds of cases never came to court because warrants were not issued for the arrests of defendants when they failed to show up at court. It means that the offenders got away with their crimes. Mr Straw has known about the cases, which initially involved Leeds magistrates' court but are suspected could go much wider, for some weeks."

Why were these warrants not issued? Does anyone in the government or the civil service take crime and punishment seriously? or are crimes just another fucking reason to saddle us with ID cards rather than actually doling out punishments.

Once again the Home Office whose remit this comes under proves that it is not fit for purpose, and that Jack Straw is a vile corrupt cunt who knew this was going on.

I dearly hope that there is a pile of arrest warrants for absconding nonces being assembled as we speak.



"An interim report into how two discs containing the personal details of 25 million people went missing is expected in December, the chancellor has said. "

Assuming it isn't lost in the post eh Al?

Oh Not Again....


The taxman could face another investigation after it emerged that the confidential details of parents, included on letters to apologise for the lost discs fiasco, have been sent to old addresses.

HM Revenue and Customs sent out letters with national insurance and child benefit numbers printed on the top and many have been dropping through the wrong letter boxes, raising new fears of a security breach.

For fuck's sake.... so after pissing 25 million people into the hands of fraudsters, HMRC (which I am sure now stands for Hopeless Moronic Retarded Cunts) sends out an apology containing precious confidential data and posts it to the wrong fucking address.

I bet they never lose their fucking pay slips do they?

One mother is reported to have been posted the codes of seven strangers, along with a letter apologising for breaching her own privacy. The details can be used by identity thieves to open bank accounts or claim benefits.

It makes you fucking laugh doesn't it? Unless of course you're claiming Child Benefit then you're fucked.

Every parent who fails to receive an apology letter is being urged to contact the HMRC to ensure their correct address is registered.

However the HMRC says it is not to blame for the latest mishap, and insist that the parents affected should have taken the responsibility to notify them of any change of address.

It's not the point that you are sending this to the wrong fucking address.... why, in the name of Christ, why are you adding National Insurance numbers and Child Benefit numbers to apology letters? Surely the fact that it has the name and address on it will suffice?

What does the letter say? We're sorry we lost your data, and just so you know what data we lost we're putting it in this letter and losing it again?


Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Come On... This Is Just Silly Now!

More on the questionable lawbreaking of Gillian Gibbons:

"A British teacher has been charged in Sudan with insulting religion, inciting hatred and showing contempt for religious beliefs. "

Inciting hatred? What the fuck? She named a teddy bear. In fact she didn't name a teddy bear she allowed a teddy bear to be named for fuck's sake.

How is that inciting hatred? If I remember my childhood correctly teddy bears were things to be loved and cherished, a security thing... how can you incite hatred by naming a teddy bear? OK aside from naming the bear "The Sudanese Government are cunts and must be burned" how can it be done?

... well under inciting hatred do you think this behaviour would be allowed in the Sudan?

Don't Worry Gordon... Auntie Still Loves You!

Ah the good old Beeb. Nick Assinder's PMQ's Sketch rarely manages to give David Cameron a complete credit and usually gets in his usual leftist spin.

Today he's tried it again....

He didn't quite say he was acting for the greater public good in all this, but it was there for those who wanted to hear it. Similarly he did not mention controversial Tory donor Lord Ashcroft - that was left to a backbencher later in the proceedings.

This would be I imagine because Lord Ashcroft's donations are all declared, not laundered through other people, not laundered through other people who didn't even know about it and don't support the party and fully in comlpliance with electoral law.

Instead Gordon Brown bangs on about how everything was worse under the Tories.

Well I'll grant you the Tory years had their fair share of sleaze, but that was all about having affairs and the odd sex scandal. This Labour lot are just rank corrupt!

Three Guesses What The Inquiry Will Find...

I've not ranted so far about the money laundering operation that is Labour Party funding. Mostly because I have had no idea where to start, however...

...over at the blog of that nice Mr. Dale he questions just how independent Gordo's independent enquiry is going to be: [Emphasis mine - RG]

"The inquiry which Gordon Brown announced yesterday into the donations scandal will be conducted by a former Labour Party General Secretary (Lord Whitty), scrutinised by a Judge (Lord McClusky) who is a former Labour politician and the former Bishop of Oxford, (Richard Harries) who, if I remember correctly, was successfully encouraged by Peter Mandelson to slag off the Tories in the mid 1990s. And who does it report to? Harriet Harman, the chairman of the Labour Party whose own conduct forms a part of the investigation! You couldn't make it up."

The brass neck of these mendacious cuntbugles is rfankly staggering... Not this time you bastards, not this time. Don't swallow this horsehit. It's just as much a whitewash as the fucking Hutton enquiry and the Cash-for-Honours enquiry. This is like asking Ian Huntley to go find evidence that he murdered two girls.

The lot of them ought to be hung drawn and quartered like the last bloke that tried to fuck over Parliament.

I fucking hate all of you fucking cunting cunts!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007


Of course they’re a peaceful and tolerant lot aren’t they?


A British schoolteacher has been arrested in Sudan accused of insulting Islam's Prophet, after she allowed her pupils to name a teddy bear Muhammad.

The BBC has learned the charge could lead to six months in jail, 40 lashes or a fine.

40 lashes for ALLOWING the children to do this? One wonders how many times they are going to whip the kids for actually doing it….

Still, on the bright side it’s a softer punishment. You get 5 times that punishment for serious criminal activity like
being raped.

Once again a complete lack of condemnation from those nice tolerant people who want to integrate, the Muslim Council of Great Britain.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Just In Case You Need Reminding...

According to the super soaraway Currant Bun:

"Ten days ago the Home Office vowed to act over 5,000 illegal migrants working as security guards — some in highly sensitive posts.

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has known of the problem for months.

But almost all the migrants are still in their jobs.

Is the Home Office just hoping we’ll forget all about it?"

You know? I'll bet they are...

Friday, November 23, 2007

This Is A Bit Rich...


“Millions of young people could damage their future careers with the details about themselves they post on social networking websites, a watchdog warns.

The ICO also said young people could be putting themselves at risk of identity fraud because of the material they post on social networks such as Facebook and MySpace. “

I can’t imagine that they are at any greater risk of identity fraud by using facebook than they are if say their parents claim child benefit. Facebook and MySpace do many things but they’re not sending kid’s locations and bank details out in the fucking post now are they?

The kids on Facebook do have a choice about what information about them is in the public domain. The kids in the child benefit system do not.

Currently, I think the government would do well to shut the fuck up about identity fraud until it can stop being the cause of it.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Have They Managed To Keep Anything Secure?

Trust Us... We're from the Revenue

From the Mail:

“At least two more discs containing data that could put people at risk of ID fraud have been lost by Revenue and Customs, it has been revealed.

Staff at the tax offices in Washington, Tyne and Wear, said they sent more two unencrypted discs to London but they are unaccounted for.

The discs contained national insurance numbers and dates of birth but unlike the previous two, which were lost from the same office, did not contain bank account details. “

What the cheesefuck are these people doing? And how long have they known about this one? Were they keeping it under their hat until Cyclops ordered his check of security procedures at which point they felt the need to fess up?

You have to wonder now how many times this has happened before don’t you?

Well, actually you don’t…

The news comes as it was revealed last night that bungling officials who lost the personal and banking details of everyone who receives child benefit were guilty of more than 2,100 security breaches last year - dragging Gordon Brown to the centre of the shambles.

Many of the blunders - which date between October 2006 and September 2007 - took place while Mr Brown was still Chancellor, but are only now being made public.

2,100 breaches of security? 2,100 between October 2006 and 2007. Bear in mind that this doesn’t include the latest display of fucktardery as that started on October 18th.

2,100 over that period of time is a mean average of 5 security breaches per day.

Well at least someone’s getting their recommended 5 a day aren’t they?


This was Brown and his fucking top-down cure-all mass centralisation of the Revenue and the Customs creating what many people viewed as a monster department too big to actually work. A bit like the NHS.

Whoever gets hung for all this, and it looks cynically like they’re going to make an example of the “junior member of staff” who sent it out rather than say the people actually responsible, it is the duty of every good Guttersnipe to make sure that the people never forget whose fault this really was.

Amazon sends more CDs than this and doesn't lose them in the post.

A Comment On Accountability.

A rather nice insight from newcomer to the Honorary Guttersnipes roll, The Nameless One

"If your organisation loses the data of 25 million people then you'll take some stick, but you should be OK.

If your organisation repeatedly shoots an innocent man in the face, your job should be safe.

If your team loses a game of football, then you're fucked.

Pathetic, isn't it?"


Just For The Record...

When I keep banging on that we should be out of Europe...

This was not what I meant!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Just How Imprisoned Is He?

From the BBC:

Pakistani opposition politician Imran Khan - who has been imprisoned under Pakistan's state of emergency - has begun a hunger strike, his family says. Hafizullah Khan said his cousin Imran was in good spirits in a prison in southern Punjab but would be taking no food or water for an indefinite period.

Brutal stuff coming out of Pakistan there as one of the world’s more famous cricketers takes a stand against oppression.

However I’m wondering whether it’s as oppressive as they make out and whether conditions in that prison are really that bad when he appears to have the freedom to post to Comment Is Free.

Although repeated exposure to Polly Toynbee could be classed as a breach of his human rights. Can anyone in Liberty or Amnesty clarify this?

Did Blair See This Coming?

This thought has just occurred to me, it’s probably occurred to some of you before so I claim no credit for originality.

We Tories keep saying things like “Government on its last legs”, “Whiff of decay”, “Time has past” and all that sort of shit but did Blair think the same thing? Hence his desire to get out while he could and enjoy huge sums of money for talking shit to China.

Pretty much the moment Blair everything seems to have gone to shit. Not that it wasn’t shit before but clearly it was getting to a stage where they could no longer paper over the cracks and when the dam burst Blair could be far far away.

Since Brown took over we’ve had:

  • Northern Rock
  • HMRC Debacle
  • Home Office Immigrants Fuck Up
  • More foot and mouth outbreaks
  • Catastrophic flooding

And that’s just in 5 months. Does this go some way to explaining Blair’s change of heart from “serving a full third-term” to buggering off the first possible opportunity.

Could it have been his final “fuck you” to Cyclops that when he saw the cracks he let Gordon take over to oversee the grand collapse?

Darling's Fault? Paul Gray's Fault? Maybe... But This...?

This extract from the BBC’s PMQ Point by Point.

Mr Cameron said it had been happening for years. He asked: "Does the prime minister feel at all responsible for this?"

Mr Brown said the Tories had supported the merger of Revenue and Customs and wanted to cut its budget even further.

For fuck’s sake…. His greatest justification for the mass rape of the country’s fucking identity details is that “Well it would have been worse with the Tories in charge”.

That says fucking everything doesn’t it. Well not everything, it doesn’t say Gordon Brown is a cunt but I can say that.

How is funding and employment levels anything to do with this? Unless the budget is that tight that they cannot afford the difference between Registered Post and First Fucking Class!

I am a sole trader, there is only me in my business. I have a client base, that client base has confidential information which I have not sent out into the wide, blue yonder.

This isn’t a case of not enough people to do the job, it’s a case of the people not doing their fucking job properly.

If this had happened at Lloyds TSB you wouldn’t see Brown sat their saying that it was the fault of the Tories would you? It’s the fault of the people in charge at HMRC and the Treasury… and that my dear Guttersnipes is the shower of shit on the Labour benches.

Charlie In The Sky With Diamonds!

Former Spin Doctor and now Trade Union Butt Boy Charlie Whelan not only appears to have gone fruitbat batshit insane today, but it seems he’s decided that the outlet for his insanity should the Daily Telegraph.

"This was no Black Wednesday, after which millions of people really suffered as a result of Tory economic incompetence. In the current volatile political climate, the polls will go up and down regularly, but, when people go to put their cross on the ballot paper, what was essentially a Westminster story will not matter a jot. Not for the first time, the Westminster village will be seen to be completely out of touch with reality."

Of course people haven’t suffered from this incompetence but I think that’s more down to luck than skill.

is this related?

"Senior police officers are calling for cannabis to be reclassified from a class C to a class B drug."

I would hazard that Mr. Whelan’s article above suggests that mind altering drugs are just too readily available.

Maybe Charlie’s up his nose as well as on his birth certificate.

Damn Being At Work!

Apparently Cyclops IS going to be at PMQ's today...

... Damn being at work, and damn being unable to watch it.

Laurel and Hardy Government Strikes Again

Go on... jump!

Not content with royally fucking over taxpayers so that Northern Rock customers, well let’s be honest Labour voters, can get out of the shit, it would appear that Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Fucktard at the top are now sending our personal data out into the wide blue yonder:


“Two computer discs holding the personal details of all families in the UK with a child under 16 have gone missing. The Child Benefit data on them includes name, address, date of birth, National Insurance number and, where relevant, bank details of 25 million people.”

So, Guttersnipes, do we know trust fuckswabs like this to run a National ID database? You know the thing… designed to combat identity fraud. Of course it might help combat identity fraud if they didn’t post our details out to anywhere.

“Chancellor Alistair Darling said there was no evidence the data had gone to criminals - but urged people to monitor bank accounts "for unusual activity"

So where are they then you cockwad? Where? Are these CDs being used as chic drinks coasters in leafy Chipping Sodbury? Are they in someone’s bin? Have they gone directly to those chaps from Nigeria that keep offering me business deals? You just don’t fucking know do you? You haven’t a fucking clue.

Now over at the fine blog of that nice Mr. Dale, Iain is hinting that people may well sue:

“If HMRC has breached the Data Protection Act then presumably they can be held liable in the courts - by 15 million people... The mind boggles.”

Well sadly Iain as any dealings with the Revenue could show you HMRC has no duty of care towards it’s customers and users. If your tax/benefit is fucked up then it’s your fault. If it’s fucked up by them it’s your fault. If they fuck your tax return up and you pay £5,000 too little then it’s your fault and they will fine you accordingly. How fucked up is that?

So, after all that talk of National ID Databases and immunity from hacking and state of the art information handling technology, the state of the art technology they have used is featured below:

Yes they sent it in the fucking mail….

Now even second class mail gets there in about 3 days, but wait! They’ve known about this for 3 weeks now:

“The data was sent on 18 October and senior management at HMRC were told it was missing on 8 November and the chancellor on 10 November.”

And you didn’t deem to tell us that we’ve been open to the risk of identity fraud or worse for three weeks already? Not until you’ve finally clicked that you can’t cover this up you foul corrupt cunts!

Bollocks to the money issue for a moment if Johnny Nonce has got hold of this information then he’s got the name, address, age and sex of most children in the UK readily available to him at his PC. I wonder how much that information would fetch on the nonce market.

As George Osborne pointed out after the statement, the basic duty of protecting its citizens has been royally shat on by this government who are only interested in free fucking junkets, starting wars and assfucking their diary secretaries.

It’s all very well banging on about your vision and your plans for fucking reform but could we please start with a basic level of fucking competence? Jesus fucking Christ, the Tories may have had sleaze and cocked up the ERM and shit like that but it’s not like they posted your information to the fucking world is it?

But surely, Guttersnipes, this is an isolated incident?

Not so:

“More than 15,000 Standard Life customers were put at risk of fraud after a courier lost a computer disk containing personal information. The data was on a computer disk sent from the HMRC National Insurance contributions office in Newcastle to the insurer's headquarters in Edinburgh. “

That was 3rd November…. Fucking 3 weeks ago!

But surely they couldn’t have done it again?

“A laptop computer holding sensitive information was stolen from the boot of a car belonging to an HRMC worker, putting hundreds of people at risk of fraud.

inquiries by the BBC suggested the computer held data on around 400 customers with high value individual savings accounts (ISAs), at each of five different companies - including Standard Life and Liontrust.”

Or again?

“Documents found in Nottingham contained sensitive information and had been stamped by HRMC.

The documents, found by a BBC reporter, included a VAT return of a man in Norwich, which showed how much he paid for the November 2005 to May 2006 period and his name and address.”

Or again?

“HRMC lost sensitive account information belonging to customers of investment bank UBS Laing and Cruickshank. It lost a computer disk sent by the bank, which contained address and account details of UBS's Personal Equity Plan (Pep) investors. “

But surely not a sixth time?

“The HMRC put together a dossier on Eric Tizzard's with details including his National Insurance number, date of birth, and every address he has ever worked and lived at. But then they sent it all to the wrong person.”

Oh for fuck’s sake!

Now Darling’s head should roll for this. In fact a sample of the diced remains of Darling’s still warm corpse should be sent to each of the 7,000,000 families whose details and lives have been compromised.

Will that happen? Here’s Tyler’s take:

“And yet the Chancellor- who is already presiding over one catastrophe- remains in post. He fires a departmental manager, claiming that the tax department is in fact independent and nothing to do with him. And he remains in post.And for the next two years there's absolutely no way he can be ousted. Unlike shareholders we can't insist on it, and unlike customers, we can't take our business elsewhere.”

I’m just making sure my guns are well oiled… the only way we’ll get these cocksuckers is a good old fashioned lynching.

That's another fine mess you've got us into Darling!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Seems He's Been Re-Educated...


There has been a "dramatic improvement" in the UK's security since Gordon Brown took over as prime minister in June, Security Minister Lord West has said.

Brown really leaned on him hard didn’t he?

Why not just put a video of him with today’s newspaper on YouTube and let him announced he is being treated fairly by his captors and have done with it?

Money Wasting Malingering Twats!

Nothing gets the blood boiling like a Monday morning. Especially if that Monday morning features an article in the Times about all my money being wasted on fat fucktards!

Almost two thousand people who are too fat to work have been paid a total of £4.4 million in benefit, it emerged last night.

Too fat to work? Fuck off. These people are not too fat to work, they are too lazy to work. In fact they’re too lazy to do anything hence why they have become too fat.

Why is being an overweight fucktard reason for getting state money? Can someone check as to whether Prescott is claiming this since his departure from Parliament?

Billions of pounds is being paid in benefits to people claiming to be unable to work because they suffer from depression, stress, fatigue and unknown or unspecified diseases.

Depression? Sort your life out and fuck off. I’m depressed. I’m depressed that I have to maintain a day job so that I can still pay the mortgage while starting a business. I’m depressed that I end up working about an 80 hour week, and most of all I’m depressed that while I’m doing this you’re sat on your too fat to work arse being fucking depressed about it.

Stop behaving like a 14 year old Goth girl and wake up!

Stress? Get a fucking life!

Fatigue? Join the rest of the world who are so knackered on an evening that they cannot do anything else worthwhile other than work.

Frank Field, a former Social Security Minister, said last night that too many people were working the incapacity benefit system to avoid work. “It is a racket, which governments have allowed to exist for far too long. I do not blame people for working the system, it is the job of politicians to stop them doing it.”

I don’t… I blame the people as well. Just because there’s a system there does not mean that you should abuse it. For fuck’s sake… they do this because they are bone fucking idle. Get that? Bone fucking idle! Sure the politicians should be stopping them but blaming it all on the system and the politicians is like blaming the rape victim for wearing a short skirt.

The benefit system is a fucking safety net not a fucking lifestyle choice.

Mr Field said: “The big change over the last decade has been into illnesses which largely defy a clear medical classification: depression, dizziness and such. It is a move from the tangible illness to the intangible.”

Also in a mass drive to reduce the number of the unemployed they’ve fucking ramped up the people claiming IB (see here) so that they can bang the “3 million unemployed” drum until their blue in the face.

More than £2 billion was paid in 2006-07 for mental health complaints, including £518 million to those with what are described as “unknown and unspecified” diseases.

Unknown and unspecified diseases? What the fuck are these? That’s £518 million of OUR FUCKING MONEY you’re pissing up to these people. I think we have a right to know what they’re getting it for…. and as for unspecified diseases, specify them. Is it Ebola? Is it C.difficile? Is it the fucking clap?

A total of 15,600 people received benefits for “malaise and fatigue” and a further 8,100 for “dizziness and giddiness”. The figures disclose that 4,000 claimants had headaches, 2,700 migraines and 1,890 suffered from eating disorders. About £100,000 in benefits went to those with acne and a similar amount to 60 people with “nail disorder”. Nausea and vomiting cost £2 million in benefits for 900 people.

Headaches? Nausea? Vomiting? Fucking hell when did we start giving benefits for having a fucking hangover?

Old fucking tanface has piped in:

“Currently, there are many people sitting at home in the belief that they are unemployable because they do not think their illness or medical conditions can be catered for in the work-place but this is just not the case. “

This, I’ll warrant, is because their medical condition does not fucking exist.

“Many people with such conditions are perfectly able to take up successful careers, if the right support is in place. That is why we are changing the system to focus on what people can do, not what they can’t.”

Yes Peter, they CAN get off their fucking arse and you cunts CAN stop financing them


Sunday, November 18, 2007

It's Not Like Me To Defend Labour People But...

There are moments when one man can demonstrate how precious our right to free speech is when he can utter such well timed brilliance as this.

Via The Snob I have found this:

"Matthew Marr, press adviser to party leader Wendy Alexander, quit his £60,000-a-year post after becoming "tired and emotional" at a glittering awards ceremony and loudly describing Scotland's First Minister, Alex Salmond, as a "c***". "

It is not like me to act in solidarity with any Labour people at all... however on this occasion I am sure I can make an exception:

Salmond.... you're a cunt!

Power to the people! Surely you scots would agree with him?

Who's The Nasty Party Now Then?

Oh the Politics Show today was a moment of pure brilliance... it really was. I'm not really a supporter of the licence fee, but today's Politics Show was worth the licence fee twice over.

On questioning Huhne denied that he would refer to Nick Clegg as a calamity... and then Sopel responds by saying "so why do I have here a briefing from your office entitled "Calamity Clegg""

Oh the look on Huhne's face was priceless, it was like he'd just been told Ed Balls was his father.

Fucking awesome television.

What followed was a rather stuttered defence followed by a LibDem bitchfight. Genius!

If any chaps from the BBC are reading this could you put together a DVD of this, with commentary and extras please?

I'll buy several.

See it for yourself here.... and some more coverage of it here.

Monday, November 12, 2007


I can’t confess to being the most charity minded bloke at the best of times but Children in Need really gets up my nose at the moment.

You may have noticed that this past weekend has featured Remembrance Sunday, and a fair few people selling poppies. Why oh why then does our state-funded behemoth of a fucking state broadcaster and our waste of fucking money Charities Commission feel it appropriate to stage the biggest and best publicised charity marathon in the year in the only 2 weeks of the year that the Royal British Legion can sell poppies.

And another thing..

On Wogan’s “Auction for things money can’t buy” this morning I hear the following donated for Children in Need:

Tour of the Battle of Britian Memorial Flight
Chance to meet the Red Arrows
Opportunity to tour the Battle of Britain Ops Room at RAF Uxbridge
Chance to take a flight in a historic Dakota.

Am I the only one that thinks that the RAF might say have a duty to donate this sort of thing as a fundraiser for the Poppy Appeal rather than Pudsey Bear?

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Bring Me A Pitchfork!


A senior High Court judge has refused a government request to reconsider a tribunal's decision to prevent a murderer being deported to Italy. Learco Chindamo, the murderer of London head teacher Philip Lawrence, could be released from prison next year.

Now this twat has murdered a headmaster. Being a headmaster is a shit job with crap pay, too much hassle and too much responsibility, and our grateful state has allowed one of it’s committed public servants to be killed by the people in its care and now will not get rid of the fucker once he walks.

So I very briefly ask… why the fuck are we keeping this twat in the country? No doubt having paid for his incarceration we’re going to continue to pay for him once he leaves prison. Does anyone really think he is going to be a productive, well behaved member of society once he leaves?

Although in answer to my question…

The judge emphasised his decision was mainly based on EU regulations and the fact that it would be "disproportionate" to remove Chindamo, as an EU citizen, under those regulations.

So much for the “automatic deportation” bollocks that Brown was spouting. Can we leave now?

Philip Lawrence served others his entire career. It cost him his life. You cunts in charge owe him.. and you owe his family.. and you owe the family of every man like this. This man died protecting another pupil. To anyone who has children in school out there he could have given his life protecting your son and daughter.

To all the parents reading this… this is a good demonstration of how valuable your child’s life is to these fucks.

… and just in case you were thinking this was an isolated incident:

It also follows news on Wednesday that a serious sex offender has been given the right to stay in Britain because deporting him to his native Sierre Leone would breach his human right to a family life.

Whenever I hear the phrase “human rights” lately it makes me go and open my gun cabinet. These people are fucking scum, they are scum in their own countries and they are scum here.

Victims have human rights too. Justice is a human right too. The Human Fucking Rights Act may as well be written in blood. I care less about the feelings of these people than they did about their victims. A lot less. A few fucking ropes and lampposts will sort the problem out a treat.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Did You Find What You Were Looking For?

The shit some people search for... and why do they find me through it?

October's highlights...
  • masturbation in young muslims
  • accidental masturbation (seriously... who searches for this? - RG)
  • young kids in bra
  • one boy fuck with her anty
  • polly the clone died
So... Did you find what you were after?

However hats off to the one wandering guttersnipe who searched for:

"long speech with cunt in it"

You will find that here in abundance.

Bricks At The Ready!

My fine and dear Prodicus has tagged me to calmly and rationally announce the “10 People I most want to hit in the face with a Brick”.

Now I’m going to keep this mostly to people you will know of so I’m leaving out the Former Lady Guttersnipe (who is a venomous hag) and my former business partner (who is a Class 1 High Cunt).

It also specifies people so I must leave out the French, Socialists as a collective group, people who own horses, People with “Baby on Board” in the back of their car and new parents. However I am sure there will be a few socialists in there.

So are we sitting comfortably?

In no real order except number 1.

10 Hazel Blears – As the Snob once commented she is the The Capo de Capi of New Labour Harridan cunt-witches. Every time this woman appears on the news Lady Gutternsipe leaves the room and comes back just to check my blood pressure. Everything about the woman just sets my blood boiling from that incessant painted on smile and constant nodding like the Churchill dog… Is the Government doing anything worthwhile Hazel? “OH YES”.

9 John Prescott – If ever there was a better case for making sure that all employed people can speak English it’s this fucking clown. People poke fun at Bush for not getting his words out right but for fuck’s sake Prescott makes Bush look like the fucking Poet Laureate. Now, as you may have noticed, I don’t like socialists but I particularly despise socialists who spend their entire life banging on about the lives of the working classes and then fuck it all off as soon as they get a tax funded Jag and a diary secretary (see
here and here). The sooner he gets back on the fucking boats and sails into an iceberg the better.

8 Amy Winehouse – Why the fuck does the world think she’s great eh? She might sing well but frankly so does Kylie Minogue and yet she manages to do it without getting off her tits on copious amounts of Class A substances. Stick her in jail and throw away the fucking key… maybe then she’ll sing the blues. How the fuck did she get a MOBO? Have they abandoned their racist principle and started giving awards to white people now? If not then she’s not black you fuckwits. The only thing whiter than her goes up her nose.

7 Chris Martin, lead singer of Coldplay – Every time this bloke appears he has some sort of interfering fucking thing to say about American politics. Every time. Just play the fucking songs will you? You floppy haired fucking cocktard! The day that the British charts are topped by a duet between Iain Duncan Smith and Ann Widdicombe I may support musicians banging on about politics until then Martin can just shut the fuck yup…. And although he doesn’t quite make the list yet Bono can fuck right off as well.

6 Cherie Blair – If there was one person in the New Labour set up that was more fucking deserving of a brick in the face it was Supermum fucking Cherie. What a dish faced fucking hag. Aside from the Human Rights Act being her idea she then went and fucking lined hers and her family’s pockets with it and fucked off. I really cannot put into words how this woman deserves not only a brick but an entire fleet of bricks.

5 Diane Abbott – Another in the series of fucking champagne bastard socialists wrecking my enjoyment of “This Week”. Smug fucking grin and fat fucking arse and constantly banging on about getting rid of grammar schools and private education despite sending her kids to a private school. But hey… why have a single standard when you can have a double.

4 Tony Blair – Have you ever met such a cunt ever in all of your life? Smiling fucking cunting cunt who grinned his way through selling us all dow the riuver so he could fuck off to Cliff’s house every year while using our money as a wankcloth. He slimed his way out of everything he ever touched and grinned the fucking unwashed morons into supporting him and his fucking regime at every turn. Lying fucking cunt! There is so much blood on this man’s hands he should be taken out and shot, and does he give a fuck?

3 Yvette Cooper – I have a personal fucking dislike of this woman based entirely on her hijacking an event I was once running in her constituency and turning it into a fucking “Vote Labour” speech. To have the fucking brassneck to get on the microphone and announce “Isn’t it great to see all this investment in the area?” when I had done the event at cost just to launch the business is fucking unforgiveable. I hate her and her wide-eyed fucktard of a husband.

2 Trevor Philips – Yes Chairman of the Commision for fucking racism. Every time there is anything to do with any ethnic minority we get this guy’s smug twat blinkered opinion that we should be giving black people special treatment for being black. You’re supposed to be standing up for equality you fucking spineless cocksucker. Equality! That means that I want to see you opposing the Association of Black Police Officers, the MOBO awards, the fucking Young Black Achiever awards. Why is he allowed to get away with this shit?

1 Gordon Brown – There is very little I can say here that has not been said by the many people who have preceded me with Brown. So I will just say cunt! Once doesn’t really do it justice but I could not possibly use the word cunt enough to describe my feelings here. Cunt!

Some people haven’t made the list and would be worthy of entry except for the fact that I wouldn’t waste a brick on them when I could find a perfectly good mincing machine to press their smug fucking faces into…

Clare Short, George Galloway, Patricia Hewitt, Ruth Kelly, and the person who leaves empty envelopes in After Eight Mint boxes… bastards!

Now I need to go calm down so I tag
Harry Haddock and Dizzy to act in my stead.