Wednesday, September 27, 2006

That Blair Speech Part 1

People of Manchester.... this is your Emperor!

Well it’s taken me a while but I’m trawling through Blair’s conference speech of yesterday and stopping to comment on anything that gets the Guttersnipe’s blood up. The trouble being there’s so much if it. This therefore is going to be an ongoing project for me to give its full attention. Please join me over the next few days as I really go to town.

There’s just too much to fisk in one day… so here goes... seconds out round one, eyes down for a full house...

I'd like to start by saying something very simple. Thank you. Thank you to you, our Party, our members, our supporters, the people who week in, week out do the work, take the flak but don't often get the credit. Thank you, the Labour Party for giving me the extraordinary privilege of leading you these past 12 years. I know I look a lot older. That's what being leader of the Labour Party does to you.

It’s also what 12 years does to you at your stage of life Tone…

Actually, looking round some of you look a lot older. That's what having me as leader of the Labour Party does to you. Nobody knows that better than John Prescott, my Deputy these last 10 years, author of "traditional values in a modern setting".

Traditional values in a modern setting? Well we do appear to have the traditional Labour values of being a complete illiterate twat with no interest in anything other than the trappings of power and everything he can get his greasy mitts on (including his PA) so yes… a fair comment I think.

I may have taken New Labour to the country but it was you that helped me take it to the Party, so thank you.

Er…. They are the party I believe.

When I went to Sedgefield to seek the nomination, just before the 1983 election, I was a refugee from the London-based politics of that time. I knocked on John Burton's door. He said "come in; but shut up for half an hour, we're watching the Cup Winners Cup final". I sat in the company of the most normal people I had met in the Labour Party.

Because the rest of them are all fucking fruitloops. Look at who we had in those days:

Michael Foot, Neil Kinnock, George Galloway, Gerald Kaufman… jesus I’m not surprised you met the most normal people just sat in a front room, there are probably only 6 normal people in the Labour Party.

They taught me that most of politics isn't about politics, in the sense of meetings, resolutions, speeches or even Parties. It starts with people. It's about friendship, art, culture, sport. It's about being a fully paid up member of the human race before being a fully paid up member of the Labour Party. But above all else, I want to thank the British people.

Would these be the same British people who you have banned from being within 5 miles of the conference? The same British people who are no longer allowed to voice their opinions near Parliament?

The same British people Not just for the honour of being Prime Minister but for the journey of progress we have travelled together.

Yup…. Downhill is an easy direction to travel in isn't it? You are a twat!

Leaders lead but in the end it's the people who deliver.

Because with governments like your Tone we fucking well have to.

In the last few months I've seen new hospitals like University College in London, the new Queen Elizabeth Hospital planned in Birmingham or Whiston Hospital in Knowsley, where I laid the foundation stone.But without the talents and dedication of the NHS staff, they would be just empty shells.It is their efforts which have cut waiting, improved care, transform and save tens of thousands of lives every day. Thank you.

Oh for fuck's sake… it is YOUR efforts that have made nurses redundant, caused UNISON to call a walk out, get the NHS in more debt than it has ever seen and given us the whole idea of closing hospitals in Tory safe seats.

And we in Government can help put in place the new Academy in Liverpool or the ground-breaking Education Village in Darlington which I have visited recently.

Academy and Education Village? They just wanted a school to, you know, teach maths and all that but no they had to have a fecking “Education Village” no doubt crammed with diversity officers and classroom assistants and anything other than teachers.

But it's the commitment and love of learning of their teachers and their pupils, and the support of parents, which have given our country the best educated children in our history. Thank you.

Best educated children in history?
Shall we have a quick look at some figures Tone? And by the way these will not be using the phrase “in real terms”.

- Reading and Writing. Almost half of all 11 year-olds cannot read, write and add up properly when they leave primary school.
- GCSEs. Nearly 23,000 children left school last year without a single GCSE.

Best educated? Maybe the best test results in history but we all know that's something else entirely.

In 1994, I stood before you for the first time and shared the country's anger at crumbling school buildings, patients languishing, sometimes dying in pain, waiting for operations, of crime doubled, of homes repossessed, of pensioners living in poverty; and told you of our dismay at four election defeats and how it was not us who should feel betrayed but the British people.

Whereas in 2006, he stands before you responsible for the country's anger at crumbling school buildings, patients languishing, sometimes dying in pain, waiting for operations, of crime doubled, of homes repossessed, of pensioners living in poverty; and talk of nothing other than three election victories like its something important to the rest of the world and how it was not them who should feel betrayed but the British people.

In 1997, we faced daunting challenges.

Boom and bust economics.

Look Tone the only, and I mean THE ONLY, reason that we don’t have boom and bust economics now is that the house prices haven’t shifted yet. When they do and they will do as all markets do then there will be a lot of bust people. Boom and bust had its faults but it came about because of an economy that encouraged investment and entrepeneurship hence the age of the yuppy but the stagnant fecking vision of your one-eyed Brutus has shafted that royally into the ground. There is no bust because there cannot be a boom.

Chronic under-investment in our public services.

So… back in the Tory years we had public services bleating that they didn’t have enough money to waste on management consultants and diversity seminars. Now you’ve hosed everything in my hard earned money there has been no improvement at all… even the usually blind Patsy agrees with me? So where’s the success eh?

Social division, with millions living in poverty, including over 3 million children.

Which we still have, you’ve just redefined poverty.

And more than all this, a country culturally and socially behind. No black Ministers and never a black Cabinet Minister. Parliament, supposedly the forum of the people, with only 1 in 10 women MPs.

So you’re going on the diversity and equality angle here are you? Where is your first female Prime Minister then eh? It’s all well and good you branding the Tories as old fashioned stuffy blokes in country clubs but we put a woman in a position of power. You seem to feel that they can’t get into positions of power without an all woman shortlist.

Gay people denied equal rights. Trade unionists able to be sacked for joining a union. Workers on £1.20 an hour, legally.

That might sound a nightmare scenario Tony but for fuck’s sake, now we’re having to pay the most unskilled muppet more money than he is actually worth… as such cheap labour is available using illegal immigrants and the immigration crisis deepens.

Now, for all that remains to be done, dwell for a moment on what has been achieved.
We have had the longest period of sustained economic growth in British history.

OK… first of all we only have records back to 1950 so that claim is a bit ambitious don’t you think? Do we really think that our current growth period is longer than say around the Industrial Revolution? The ascent of the British Empire? The recovery from the Black Death?

But even using the figures we have the longest growth period there is 15 years, which means if Tony’s fucking fucktards have kept it going then 6 years of that is a Tory achievement.

Mortgage repossession, like mass unemployment, are terms we have to be reminded of.

No they are not. If unemployment is so down then why has the welfare bill gone through the fucking roof?

The last NHS winter crisis was 6 years ago.

Yeah… now the NHS is in its best year ever, and let’s not forget 6 years ago we had a Labour government approaching its second term.

Heart patients wait on average less than three months. Cancer deaths are down by 43,000.

From what and from when? I’m going to assume that he is referring to 1997 here and doing the rare thing of claiming from only when he’s been in power (see economy notes above). That would mean that the reduction in cancer deaths is following the same trend that has been going for 20 years since the Thatcher days.

You are more likely to see a new school building than a crumbling one.

But it won’t have any teachers in it, nor will it be producing any literate children.

There are virtually no long- term young unemployed.

Because they’re all fulfilling your fruitbat fucking 50% into university target studying aroma-fucking-therapy. Anybody with any talent has fucked off abroad where they can get a decent job.

Today we ask can we meet our ambitious targets on child poverty when, before 1997, the idea of a child poverty target would have been laughable.

From this then I can deduce that since 1997 child poverty has become a real problem since the target wasn’t needed before.

We have black Ministers and the first woman and then the first black woman Leader of the Lords. Not enough women MPs but twice what there were.

And why is this good? If they’re the cream of the crop then good luck to them. Gender, colour etc doesn’t matter. If your line up is based on ability alone (and god help you if you picked Blears and Hewitt on ability) then how is the fact that they are black or female your achievement?

You put people there because they were black didn’t you?

Free museum entry that has seen a 50% rise in visitors.

No…. a 50% rise in visits. The people it was designed to get into museums (ie. The Ds and Es of the world) still are not going. The core museum goers now just go more often.

Banning things that should never have been allowed: handguns, cosmetic testing on animals; fur farming, blacklisting of trade unionists and from summer next year, smoking in public places.

Fox hunting…. Don’t forget hunting, oh and smoking in your own car, protesting within a mile of Westminster unless you’re waving a “Behead anyone who isn’t Muslim” banner, protesting at the Labour conference… the list goes on.

Allowing things that should never have been banned: the right to roam; the right to request flexible working; civil partnerships for gay people.

OK… civil partnerships I’m OK with, but right to roam? Why should that happen? You now have the right to wander as you see fit across a farmer’s private land? That’s called trespassing, and as for the right to request flexible working.. you always had that right just as the employer always had the right to tell you to fuck right off.

Of course, the daily coverage of politics focuses on the negative.

Well there is so much of it to go around Tone…

But take a step back and be proud: this is a changed country.

For the fecking worse.

Above all, it is progressive ideas which define its politics. That is the real result of a third term victory. And the Tories have to pretend they love it.The Bank of England independence, they never did in 18 years, the minimum wage, they told us would cost a million jobs. The help for the world's poor, they cut. They fall over themselves saying how much they agree with us.

Right… I’ll concede BOE independence up to a point, but if you’re going to criticise the last Tories for not doing that then also you should condemn Old Labour for not doing it either. The minimum wage has cost a million jobs, just because you’ve propped them all into the fucking NHS doesn’t mean they were not lost in the first place.

We have changed the terms of political debate.

Yeah… you’d have taken parliamentary debate, wiped your holier than thou fucking arse with it and flushed it down the bog with your Legislative Reform Bill and European Consti-fucking-tution as well.

This Labour Government has been unique.

Yup… it’s the only one that’s won 3 times… other than that it’s been like all the others.

We faced out to the people, not in on ourselves. We put the Party at the service of the country.

Fuck off… just fuck right off you sanctimonious fucking twat! Party at the service of the country? Oh for fuck’s sake… the country is at the fucking mercy of the Labour Party more like? If you’re our fucking servants then you’re fucking fired… give us our money back.

We abandoned the ridiculous, self-imposed dilemma between principle and power.

Yup…. Drop the principles, take the power.

We reach out not just to those in poverty or need but those who are doing well but want to do better; those on the way up, ambitious for themselves and their families.

Yup… you reach out to those people on their way up the ladder and tax them until their intestines are shat out of their state monitored arses and affter you strangle every bit of ambition and freedom out of their still warm corpse you tax everything they had when they died. You fucking fucking fucks!

These are our people too.

Our people? You don’t own us you Orwellian retard! We own you… you are there at ours and Her Majesty’s Pleasure.

Not to be tolerated for electoral reasons.

So people are not to be tolerated for electoral reaosns, but you’re free to shut their fucking hospitals if they vote Tory aren’t you Blair?

But embraced out of political conviction.

I’m so looking forward to those political convictions…. Lord Levy, Blair? Sad that old
Tubbyfucker's not getting his collar felt any more but you can't win em all.

The core vote of this Party today is not the heartlands, the inner city, not any sectional interest or lobby. Our core vote is the country. It was they who made us change.

Actually given that you were returned 36% of a 61% turnout, which means that only 21% of the country wanted you back in office. I'd say the core vote was a resounding 79% against.

More tomorrow

Monday, September 25, 2006

Please Sir... Can I Have Some Power?

Pick me... you'e got to pick me... I always get picked last!

This is in today’s Guardian

“Gordon Brown today laid out his credentials to be the next Labour leader and prime minister, but confessed "regret" to the Labour conference over his rows with Tony Blair.”

Oh look at that! The backstabber in chief and overseer of most of our domestic fuck ups, the head Blair blamer has suddenly got all repentant about his nefarious disloyal ways. I wonder if it’s anything to do with this…

today’s Telegraph

“Gordon Brown's hopes of being acclaimed as Tony Blair's successor at this week's Labour conference are severely dented today by a poll for The Daily Telegraph showing a sharp fall in the number of voters who think he would be a good prime minister.”

“Earlier in the year, 36 per cent of voters thought he would prove to be a good prime minister. That figure has fallen to 27 per cent, while the proportion thinking he would probably fail as prime minister has risen from 33 per cent to 44.”

Back to the Graun…

“The chancellor paid tribute to the PM, telling Mr Blair: "You taught our party - you saw it right, you saw it clearly and you saw it through - that we can't just be for one section of society, we've got to be for all of society."”

Oh fucking hell…. Why doesn’t he just stand on the podium and say “Sorry sir, it won’t happen again, can I have my toys back now?”

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Peter Hitchens Vents His Spleen

I make no apology for lifting this straight from the Daily Mail. I implore other bloggers to do the same.

Is this what they mean by 'Muslim tolerance'?
By PETER HITCHENS, The Mail on Sunday

Last updated at 15:10pm on 18th September 2006

Listen to this: "Make war on the unbelievers and the hypocrites and deal rigorously with them. Hell shall be their home: an evil fate."

Or then again, this: "Believers, take neither the Jews nor the Christians for your friends."
Then there is the instruction to fight against those who are not of the true faith "until they pay tribute out of hand and are utterly subdued".

All are direct quotations from the Koran, which Muslims believe to be the absolute word of Allah, and which cannot be altered.

If you seek even more ferocious attacks on Christianity and Judaism, you will find them in the Hadith, Islam's other great book of scripture.

Week after week in those lands where Muslims rule and Christians are a minority, the message pours out from the mosques: "God did not have a son."

All the central doctrines of the Christian faith are emphatically denied. Things are said about Jews and Christians, sometimes comparing them to pigs and monkeys, which would attract the attention of the Thought Police if they were uttered here.

Only recently an Afghan was threatened with death - the prescribed punishment under Sharia law - for converting from Islam to Christianity.

Christians in Pakistan live in constant fear of attacks on their churches and their homes, usually following false allegations that someone has burned a Koran.

Coptic Christians in Egypt suffer a similar misery. Christian Arabs who can afford to have been emigrating by the thousands to avoid increasing persecution by their Muslim neighbours.

Hypocritical fury
For years Liberals in the West have spread the myth of "Muslim tolerance". It does not exist and never did. Where Islam rules, other faiths must cringe in humiliated subjection.

These are facts. Is it not astonishing that this militant, angry religion, whose name means not "Peace", but "Submission", whose whole existence is based on the denial and rejection of its rivals, dares to get into a self-righteous rage over an obscure quotation in a dull academic lecture by the head of the Roman Catholic Church?

In Islam it is still the year 1427. They have had no reformation. The more Islamic a state is, the more its women are shrouded and confined, the more its minorities are despised - and the more freedom of thought and speech are crushed.

And yet the deputy leader of Turkey's Islamist ruling party, Salih Kapusuz, attacks the Pope for having "a dark mentality that comes from the darkness of the Middle Ages".
If we bow to this manufactured, hypocritical fury, then we will already have lost one of the most important battles to face us.

While our silly leaders bleat and panic about terror threats, a far greater menace to our free societies comes from the growing power of Islam in our midst.

Much of that power results from the weak-kneed refusal of our own liberal elite to stand up for what is good about our Christian civilisation. Back the Pope.

Cracking stuff...

Moonbat Watch II

Well I have been bored at work today, so time for another good sift through the BBC’s Have Your Say Section for the latest crop of care in the community cases.

Today they ask the question can Radical Islam be dealt with at home? Looking down the majority of answers they actually seem quite sensible but in amongst them there are the moonbats and foil hat wearers as ever.

“if they don't like this Country's foreign policy and way of life - they can always leave .......

This i'm afraid the above is an ignorant comment from an ignorant individual who has to understand that many of these so called 'foreigners' are 3rd or 4th generation born UK nationals whose forefathers were brought en' mass from the subcontinent in the 50's based on the the size of their hands, to assess their eligebility for manual work. How can these new generations of muslims simply go back?!”

As I recall nobody mentioned ‘going back’… the original poster, and your good Guttersnipe I might add, are merely suggesting that if you want to live under Sharia Law then you might want to live in say Iran rather than Ipswich.

“The UK's foreign policy is an affront to anyone with any morality but Muslims must feel this especially when you consider the sense of brotherhood that exists between all muslims.”

Yup…. Those Sunis and Shias just get along all fine and dandy don’t they? Still thinking about it myself and my learned brother Shouting Guttersnipe used to beat ten bells out of each other any chance we got.

“By the way - The UK Muslims that became terrorists did not go to faith schools - should we close down comprehensive schools?”

Yes…. Because they are shit, turn out slack jawed illiterate muppets like Prescott.

I save the best until last…. I wonder why this idiot is loose on the streets to write this, but also why Auntie felt the need to publicise it.

“Dr. Reid is doing a wonderful job. I have him as Prime Minister any day!”


Why Is This Man Even Here?

Another moderate muslim

Reid heckled during Muslim speech
"Home Secretary John Reid has been heckled during a speech about targeting potential Muslim extremists. He was interrupted by activist
Abu Izzadeen, who said he was "furious" about "state terrorism by British police". "

Now Izzadeen knows all about state terrorism after all here are a few of Wiki’s comments on him:

“Izzadeen has described the 7/7 suicide bombers in London as "completely praiseworthy". [1]
On the eve of the anniversary of the 7/7 attacks in London he was filmed preaching to a group of Muslims in Birmingham (UK) mocking and laughing at the victims of 9/11 and threatening further terror attacks in the UK. [2]
He has openly admitted that he wishes to die as a suicide bomber. [3]

Note the use of words employed by our good friends at Beeb-Jazeera here:
“activist Abu Izzadeen,”

Activist? This is a man that even Galloway thinks is a dangerous fruitloop. He even says so in the same article:

“Respect MP George Galloway, in an open letter to Mr Reid written on Wednesday afternoon, asked how such a "well-known extremist... was allowed within punching distance of the British home secretary".

The Home Office had been asked to comment here and their reply seems to indicate the prevailing priorities in the Home Office at the moment:

"There was no question of the home secretary's safety being compromised at any time."

The Home Secretary’s safety? Bollocks to the Home Secretary’s Safety… why the flaming feck does this Izzadeen goon freely float around the British Isles and the first we get to see of it is when he’s shouting and ranting at Reid?

What about the safety of the good British people who elected you fucktards into power, who pay the mandarins' salaries and who think that state and national security are issues that are governmental responsibility?

Why are we not allowed to protest within a mile of Parliament but a man who “has openly admitted that he wishes to die as a suicide bomber can wander freely around the place preaching his fascist bile? Why is this foaming, semtax hugging fucking moron not in Belmarsh?

“But Massoud Shadjareh, who chairs the Islamic Human Rights Commission, said Mr Reid's demands were "unrealistic and not demanded from any other community". He said the government, whose policies he said played a "substantial role" in radicalising people, "needs to come out of this state of denial, stop pointing fingers at others and instead recognise the root causes and its own responsibility".

What the feck? Let’s read that part again…

“But Massoud Shadjareh, who chairs the Islamic Human Rights Commission”

Islamic Human Rights Commission? Oh pale, waltzing Lord do we fund these people? I mean come on… how many breaches of human rights can you think of done in the name of Allah?

- Stoning of women for being raped
- Beheading journalists and aid workers
- Hiding your fucking missile launching positions in schools
- Beating of women and making them cover themselves from head to toe
- Blowing up public transport and killing people who have nothing to do with you or the foreign policy you claim to be fighting against.

Islamic Human Rights Commission? You’re doing a bang up job guys (because I assume there are no women working in this). Instead of having a pop at the Home Secretary (and it’s not like me to side with him… but you know how it goes, band together against the common enemy and all that), why not go over to Iran, Somalia, Pakistan etc and er… sort out their human fucking rights? Is it because they’ll hang you?

“Mr Reid later described the hecklers as "unrepresentative" of the Muslim community.”

Is it? Could the muslim community provide some evidence of this, because in the 5 years since 9/11 Guttersnipe here has seen none whatsoever.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Polly At The End of Her Brave New World

It's all over for me

Polly’s world must be collapsing around her:

The fall of the Social Democrats in Sweden reverberates around Europe, but sends particular shudders through those close friends of Goran Persson in Labour ranks. As strangers occupy Stockholm's governing corridors, here is a chilly memento mori for Labour.

OK Pol… I understand that you’re in a delicate emotional state at the moment given that your utopia of free love state intervention and the answer to all your problems has in fact been wisely thrown out by those crazy Swedes.

I understand that… but if you’re going to make pretentious comment about a “chilling memento mori” at least demonstrate that you have an above Sure Start education by actually knowing what one is.

You write a memento mori as a warning of death to the Labour Party. Bollocks! A memento mori is a tomb carving frequent in the early medieval showing an effigy of the decayed body underneath the effigy of the occupant in life. There’s a good one in Canterbury Cathedral.

What an irony that the victors - 41-year-old Fredrik Reinfeldt's New Moderates - modelled themselves on New Labour. They took power by ditching old promises to savage the welfare state, rebranding themselves as near Social Democrat clones. Reinfeldt won by doing what David Cameron does, sounding so Social Democratic no voter could take fright. Unsurprisingly, Cameron is in close touch with the New Moderates.

Polly… you’re clinging to a dead past (would you like a memento mori carving to honour it?). Russia has proved that the hard left socialist ideal just doesn’t work. What we’re left with is this whole “mythical” centre ground issue that lefties like you bang on about and the more firebrand tories go on about.

The truth is, this is not far different from life before the Russian Revolution, government and opposition differed about the details of how they would run the country as opposed to this great capitalist and socialist ideological divide. Of course they sound similar, they are similar. But there’s a strong enough difference to base a vote on.

Here is Labour's fear. How can a good government lose power when the country is flourishing?
With a rising growth rate of 5.6%, low interest rates, thriving manufacturing and exports Britain would die for, how did it happen? True, unemployment is a problem - but hardly worse than in much of the EU, while Sweden's welfare system is the envy of the world. Abroad, Persson wasn't hampered by two unpopular wars with no end in sight. So why?

Let me take a wild stab in the dark Pol… the fecking 55% tax rate?

Swedish Social Democrats held many sessions with Labour about "how to renew in office",

I think of course that could be how they lost… if you’re going to ask New Labour how to renew they’ll probably tell you to make sure your DPM bones his secretary and that you flog peerages.

Visiting Sweden during the campaign and talking to those ruefully picking over this week's result, I can see stern lessons for Labour. Persson's party ran out of steam. Its leader stayed far too long, a risk Labour faces if there is a seamless Blair/Brown continuity of more of the same, going on and on. Brown seems dangerously eager to emphasise "no change" on every policy of importance. But change or die is the lesson of Sweden.

Ooooo…. Let’s hope they pick die! She had to get around to it sooner or later didn’t she? The only way for Labour to get in is to ditch Blair and go for her throbbing Viking. I’ll bet that would get her interest rates rising!

Persson forgot his wise maxim: in opposition the left must behave like a government, and in government it must act like an insurgent opposition.

Perhaps if his, and our, government behaved like a government in government then they wouldn’t be chucked off to the opposition. Cross your mind Polly?

Here's the other great lesson from Sweden. They forgot about women - yes, even in Sweden.

How can a country that gave us Swedish Erotica really have forgotten about women?

Sweden's women ministers fumed during the campaign as Persson ignored the party's record on childcare and maternity and paternity leave, which should have been the Social Democrats' proudest electoral assets. He let the right set the agenda with traditional male politics when it is the women-friendly subjects that win the Social Democrat vote.

So the women ministers fumed? Did they get out and campaign on these issues alongside their government or did they pop down to the shops for some more shoes and let the men get on with it before blaming the men for them losing their jobs.

But in opposition look how Cameron's campaign is devoted to pleasing women, in tone, style, words and demeanour: the polls tell him women are more green, family-minded and worried about work-life balance. Never mind if it's all empty mood music, trading on what Labour has done without promising anything more than mild exhortation

Oh for feck’s sake Pol back that up with some evidence will you? We all know that the Tories policy groups are not reporting back for another year. We all know that. We’re not expecting a policy. We’re not in the business of rushing an ill thought out headline grabbing policy initiative that’s doomed to failure, that’s what Blair’s done and it’s cost him dearly.

Argue the strength or lack of strength of Tory policies when they arrive Pol. In the meantime you haven’t got a fucking clue what you’re talking about.

Above all, Labour needs a woman as deputy leader.

Why? Why does it need a woman Polly? First off that’s just sexism, it’s as wrong as saying “what this party needs is a white man in charge”. Secondly you seem to be suggesting that women will only vote for women. You’re talking shite girl.

What a pathetic figure Ming Campbell cut in an ill-advised photo opportunity on the beach with his tiny cohort of women - only nine out of 63 MPs; yet the Lib Dems, like the Tories, still refuse to use quotas to get more women into parliament. Labour has 97 women MPs.

- Patricia Hewitt
- Hazel Blears
- Tessa Jowell
- Claire Short
- Glenda Jackson

The list of great British fecking success stories just keeps on trucking doesn’t it?

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Sick Bastards! But At Least They'll Have a Hospital

Yesterday’s Times featured Nulab at its most insidious.

“A SECRET meeting has been held by ministers and Labour Party officials to work out ways of closing hospitals without jeopardising key marginal seats, The Times can reveal.”

Vision clouding….. rage taking over….

These people make me fucking sick, and sick is the last thing I need to be since as a Tory voter my hospital will be closed down. I blogged many times that NuLab is only working for its own interest and fuck the rest of us. How much more evidence do we need?

We see self detonating Islamic morons all over the place trying to further their agenda but at least they are clear and honest about their agenda and what they’ll do to achieve it. New fucking Labour put the fucking smiling grin of Blair on the telly and then set about royally ass raping us with a melon.

“Details of the meeting, revealed in e-mails passed to The Times, show that it included Hazel Blears, the Labour chairman, political advisers from No 10 and even — at the request of Ms Blears — a Labour Party representative.”

A Labour Party representative???? Not a Labour MP I could understand that but a Labour Party representative!!! Why is an unelected leftie fecktard helping to decide which hospitals should be closed and which shouldn’t?

You’ll note it includes Blears and some political advisers as well. No hint of any Trust CEO’s, Clinical Directors, you know the people that ACTUALLY run and work in the health service. You self-serving backstabbing cockwarts! It wouldn't surprise me if this Labour Party Rep had stood for parliament and been beaten... now he's out to exact his revenge on all those eeeevviiilllll Tory voters.

I’m not against hospital closures to save money, but do it on an economic basis you corrupt self-centred dogfisters and have the decisions made by people who are accountable to the public.
Not by some fucking Trade Union Gobshite. Not by some goatshafting Labour Party Donor and certainly not by some failed fucking Parliamentary Candidate who is more concerned with blaming Tories for the fact he hasn't got a diary secretary to grope.

“The e-mails show that Patricia Hewitt, the Health Secretary, called for those at the meeting to be provided with “heat maps”, showing marginal Labour seats where closures or reconfigurations of health services could cost votes.”

Mr. E said that Patricia Hewitt should resign immediately. I disagree. She should be publicly crucified in Hyde Park. The ticket sales for such an extravaganza would probably pay for these hospitals to be saved.

Meanwhile the bastard teddy throwing trade unions have called the first strike in the NHS in over 20 years. That was how the BBC put it, it sounds a lot better than the first strike in the NHS since the last Labour Government.

It’s only going to cost them more hospitals… but hey when have the unions cared about facts?

This whole fucking NuLab set up stinks more than John Prescott’s sweaty arse after a good two hours of diary secretary action. We have healthcare irrespective of income apparently, but not irrespective of voting intention.

I’m not na├»ve enough to believe that politicians don’t generally offer some sort of bribe to get us to vote their way but this is rank fucking corruption at its worst. This is vote Labour or we’ll shut your fucking hospital.

I hope that the day after the election, these people are paraded through London and then hung drawn and quartered in the fucking Tower.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

I'd Rather She Was Executed But This Will Do...

Live Long and Prosper


Former Cabinet minister Clare Short says she will be stepping down as a Labour MP at the next General Election.

Well after the week Blair’s had he probably needs some good news. I can hear the champagne corks popping in Downing Street already.

Ladywood MP Ms Short, 60, partly blamed Tony Blair's foreign policy and said: "I have reached a stage where I am profoundly ashamed of the government."

Welcome to Britain Shorty... we’ve been ashamed of Blair for fucking ages. Every time the useless bastard opens his mouth and says “well what’s really important is...” or "the facts of the matter are" or "in real terms" we hang our heads in shame. Short regularly has a go at the Americans for electing Bush, well look at what we elected, look at the leader HER PARTY put forward. Too right we’re fucking ashamed.

Now she’s saying she’s going to resign from parliament. Let’s see if she actually does since you might recall that she said she would resign if we invaded Iraq and then promptly didn’t.

Ms Short made her announcement in the Independent, in which she wrote: "Blair's craven support for the extremism of US neoconservative foreign policy has exacerbated the danger of terrorism and the instability and suffering of the Middle East.

OK Claire answer me this.... had Blair said no we’re not getting involved and Bush had gone ahead anyway as we know he could have. How would that have changed the situation?

"He has dishonoured the UK, undermined the UN and international law and helped to make the world a more dangerous place."

Dishonoured the UK yes, undermined the UN? Well good on him. The UN is the most spineless fucking paper shuffling exercise I have ever seen, and I’ve seen the EU. Ratshit insane jihadis all over the world are getting themselves Weapons of Mass Destruction and the UN responds with a 2 month committee meeting and launches a Strongly Worded Letter.

Jesus Christ, we’re toast!

I’ve just been listening to Old Labour’s Windbag on Jeremy Vine and I caught the anecdote that Blair used her to pass a message to Brown saying if he would green light the UK’s entry into the Euro he would let Gordon become Prime Minister earlier.

Somebody tell Guido....

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Liar or Just Too Clueless To Govern? - You Decide!

Trust me... I'm a clueless fecktard!
So an investigation is being called for after Blair received the unemployment figures prior to publication yesterday and then went to tell the TUC:

“Speaking to union leaders on Tuesday, Blair said: "Tomorrow, I think, we will probably see for the first time in some months a fall again in unemployment." -

Naughty naughty Blair....

But imagine Guttersnipe’s mirth when the figures were published today and the reports said:

“The number of people out of work has risen to its highest level in six years” -

If you’re going to massage the figures Tone, as you usually do, at least get the direction right. No wonder the Labour Party think they're going to win the next election, they can't tell the difference between rising and falling polls.


History Quiz

Please pause a moment, reflect back, and take the following multiple choice test. (The events are actual cuts from past history. They actually happened! Do you remember?)

1. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
A. Olga Corbitt
B. Sitting Bull
C. Arnold Schwartzeneger
D. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

2. In 1979, the U.S. Embassy in Iran was taken over by:
A. Lost Norwegians
B. Elvis
C. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
D. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

3. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
A. John Dillinger
B. The King of Sweden
C. The Boy Scouts
D. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
A. A pizza delivery boy
B. Pee Wee Herman
C. Kylie Minoque
D. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

5. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:
A. The Smurfs
B. Davy Jones & The Monkees
C. The Little Mermaid
D. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
A. Captain Kidd
B. Charles Lindberg
C. Mother Teresa
D. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
A. Scooby Doo
B. The Tooth Fairy
C. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
D. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
A. Meatloaf
B. Grandma Moses
C. Michael Jordan
D. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

9. In 1998, the U.S. Embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
A. Tarzan
B. Hillary Clinton (to distract attention from Wild Bill' s women problems)
C. The World Wrestling Federation
D. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

10. On 11 September 2001 four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted to a crash by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by:
A. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
B. The Supreme Court of Florida
C. Mr. Bean
D. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
A. Lawrence of Arabia
B. The Lutheran Church
C. The NFL
D. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
A. Bonny and Clyde
B. Ned Kelly
C. Billy Graham
D. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

13. In 2002 the Sari Nightclub in Kuta Beach, Bali, was blown up killing 189 young mainly Australian tourists by:
A . The "Bundy" Polar Bear
B. Ho Chi Minh
C. Paul Keating
D. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

14. In July 2005, three London Underground trains and one London Bus weresuicide bombed by:
A. The Spice girls
B. The Beatles
C. The Four Tops
D. 4 'British' Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

Case for profiling? After all if we're looking for football hooligans we stop white, working class men wearing football shirts, and do you know what? It works.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Unions Spit Dummy At Blair!

Waaaahhh! I want more money!

Our Gracious Lord and Master has been speaking to the Unions today. Actually I’ll rephrase that he has been talking at the Unions, I doubt those Stalinist fucking parasites would have had the decency to listen.

Tony Blair has defended his record as prime minister and told union members the "brutal truth" is that government is a "hard and difficult business".
But Mr Blair, who was heckled in what was his last speech to the TUC as PM, said it was a "darn sight better than wasting our time in opposition".

Yup…. You’ve gone from wasting your time in opposition to wasting our time in government. I can see how that would be better for you.

They may have disagreed sometimes, he said, but there had been great progress in health, education and pensions.

He spoke after some RMT union members walked out shouting for him to go.

I laughed until I shat fruit when I read this…. Can you see it? They’ve called a fucking strike in the middle of his speech. You can just see the shop stewards shouting everybody out and them all swanning outside. I imagine there will have been a readily produced coal burner and a picket line set up.

Stop it… you’re killing me.

Other people waved banners in protest at the involvement of British troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, while comments about schools prompted shouts of "rubbish".

I wonder if they got thrown out… possibly not since they were not at a Labour Party conference.

He said Labour could only continue in government if it focuses on policy for the future and "accepts that government is a hard, difficult business".

The fecking arrogance!!! The Labour Party can only continue in government if us, the electorate, the people who they have ridden roughshod over by the socialist fucking jackboot and financially squeezed until bile runs out of our eyes vote for the Labour Party.

"But it is a darn sight better than wasting our time in opposition passing resolutions no-one ever listens to or can do anything about.
"That is the brutal truth ... You have your difficult times and you have your better times and the decisions you take are often very, very hard to take, but actually it's a privilege to take them.

Get that… a privilege, not a fucking right.

"And the reason for that is, just occasionally, you meet people - and I do in different parts of the country - whose lives we have changed."

Yup…. I’m one of them, I much worse off under Labour and now I can’t smoke in my car.

Here are some other people whose lives have been changed:

- Bullied girl stabbed in the eye for liking rock
- Mother faces jail for swearing at neighbourhood yobs
- Forces' combat deaths worst since Falklands
- 'Sexual predator' killed woman posing as taxi driver
- Paedophile given £40,000 legal aid to fight for toilet rights
- Dad killed after confronting yobs
- Pupil dies in gang-style execution

And that’s just in three days.

As RMT leader Bob Crow led a delegation out of the Brighton Centre in protest, he said: "What is the point of listening to someone when you cannot believe a word they say?"

I don’t like to side with Blair here, but what’s the point of having a guest speaker if you’re not listening.

The Unions are the most childish people it has ever been Guttersnipe’s misfortune to run into. As soon as they don’t get their own way they throw their tools down and sit with their arms folded in a strop. They storm out slamming the door behind them, what a set of fecking drama queens.

Fucking grow up the lot of you. If you’re getting a raw deal in your job, get a new job. Even at the height of the much vaunted “3 million unemployed” era every Job Centre I went into had cards on the wall… don’t tell me you can’t get another job.

As he explained that a large part of the Western world were inclined to believe "the threat is George Bush and not Islamist terrorism", a number of delegates shouted: "Yes."

Which really does say a lot about these people doesn’t it? They would be more comfortable with a regime in place that stones women for adultery, and I might add for being raped.

And let’s look at another angle here:

The Rail, Maritime and Transport Union naturally is in the interest of RMT workers, Unison deals with nurses, NHS workers etc, The CWU for postmen, call centre reps etc.

What the fuck has Iraq, Afghanistan, Lebanon or America got to do with any of these people? Answer me that! What???

Does your humble postman think “I want to do my bit to stop the war in Iraq, I know I’ll join the Communication Workers Union, that’ll have Dubya shitting himself by dawn”.

For fuck’s sake. An old friend of Guttersnipes was a union rep (despite being a Tory member) and voted for no money to be sent to aid Basra because none of his members lived there… very sensible I thought. Sadly the union didn’t agree and sent quite a lot of their members’ money over to Iraq.

To date he has received no satisfactory explanation as to how this helps his members.

Chancellor Gordon Brown, tipped as Mr Blair's most likely successor, told reporters before he headed off to Brighton to give his own private address to union bosses that he wanted "to praise Tony Blair's speech".
"I urge all trade unionists to support the reform agenda set out by Tony Blair and agreed by the whole government."

Let’s translate that as “I urge the Unions to not block everything I want to do as they have blocked everything Blair wanted to do.”

So as this is Blair’s last speech to the TUC they clearly treated him as that rock star that just won’t play an encore. They walked out sulking.

Did UKIP Achieve Something While I Wasn't Looking?

UKIP are announcing their new leader today. Personally I'm hoping for Nigel Farage as he is one of the best speakers I have seen since my interest in politics started.

Makes you wish he was on my side, and here's hoping that someone in the Tories pulls us out of Europe and then he might join.

Now they are not all fruitcakes and racists (after all... the
Humble Devil is in) but I think their former leader speaking today falls definitely into the fruitcake arena.

"UKIP MEP and former leader Jeffrey Titford said the party was ready for a change.
He told BBC News: "Whoever comes through, you're going to find that we're going to be involved far more with national politics and not so much selling the European line.

"We've won the European argument, the European Parliament argument, what we're looking for now is to get into British national politics and I think that will be right up on the agenda of the new leader." "

Given that we are both still within the EU and still within the EU Parliament, and that Brussels regularly rams an EU standardised marrow up our arse every 2 weeks how has their argument been won?

Trade Unions Can Just Feck Off!

UNISON: We feck your country up a treat

Guttersnipe has always believed if you look into any war deep enough you’ll find religion, and likewise if you look into any crumbling, failing organisation that fails to work no matter how you reform it you’ll find the same gremlin in the machine every time..

I talk of course of that great leviathan the Trade Union.

My in-law, the noble Baron Snipegutter says “All a trade union does is protect a bad worker” and what true words they are....

There is always the summer strike action by the RMT Union which happens with such regularity now that it’s just counted as an extra holiday, but today it is
UNISON that are throwing their teddy out.

“The health secretary spoke out as workers employed by NHS Logistics voted to strike after the government awarded a 10-year contract to German firm DHL.
Union officials say the walkout will cause "major inconvenience" and could see operations cancelled. “

So there they have made their threat.... “could see operations cancelled.”

They’re going to have operations cancelled and patients suffering because a contract has been given to a private sector company. They never stop to think that DHL may have been given a contract because they would do something as ridiculous as a better job, that’s the way business works.

Because they can’t have their stalinist fucking utopia they are going to make the patients suffer. Why not just behead them on Al-Jazeera and have done with it guys?

“Union officials have warned that the move could lead to hospitals quickly running out of supplies of bedpans, urinals, hand gel, latex gloves breakfast cereals, drinks and tinned vegetables.”

Why would they quickly be running out? Aren’t DHL being employed to deliver these? If they don’t then they are in breach of their contract and they lose business. Seems pretty self-policing to me.

“She pledged to protect the terms and conditions of staff and their pensions and dismissed as "absolute rubbish" suggestions it was part of a wider plan to privatise the NHS. “

So if you believe Commissar Patsy the staff are keeping their jobs and their cushy fecking state sector pensions that we all have to pay for, no doubt they keep their retirement age of 60 as well while we all slave on until we’re 68. So the only complaint the union has is that the private sector is being involved.

They’re planning to make sure that patients have their operations cancelled because they don’t like who is providing the goods.

Union Leader Dave Prentis said: "These are not troublemakers, not hardliners but workers who care deeply about the NHS, who want to stay part of it, who want to play their part in saving it,"

Concerned about saving it so much that they are holding the patients hostage.

A deal reached earlier this month will see 1,700 employees from parts of NHS Logistics and the NHS Purchasing and Supply Agency transferred to the private sector.

You’ll note again that they’re not being made redundant, they are getting new jobs in the private sector with the same salary and better pension rights than the rest of us.

I fecking hate trade unions, they hide behind that fecking “protect the worker” bollocks to promote their Stalinist agenda.

They spout this bile that suggests the private sector is somehow evil and exploiting and without the benevolent unions we would all be fecking slaves.

Just compare for a moment the number of strikes there are in the private sector compared to the public sector. Would this suggest that private sector employers are evil?


If the rest of us in the sector that pays for the public sector aren’t happy with the deal we’re getting we go and get another job. In the state sector they down tools until the Labour Party lets them run the fucking country.

And the Labour Party will cave as they have done throughout history

1966: Emergency laws over seamen's strike
1968: Rail go-slow begins
1970: State of emergency called over dock strike
1975: Miners set for 35 per cent pay rises
1977: Firefighters strike over pay claim
1977: Firemen jeer TUC's pay snub
1979: 'No chaos here' declares Callaghan
1979: Public sector strike paralyses country

UPDATE: The Young Greek Fella has ranted on this.... go read it... it's a work of brilliance.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Probably the Best Place For Him At The Moment

Our Tone has been in Lebanon where he’s probably safer than if he were at the TUC Conference.

Mr Blair defended his position of rejecting calls for an early ceasefire, saying a UN resolution dealing with the "real problems" had been his priority.
Several protesters disrupted a news conference, shouting: "Shame on you."

Guttersnipe wonders if they were thrown out and detained under the Terrorism Act or is it just 82 year old refugees in England that get that treatment.

Has anyone noticed that when some goon in Denmark draws a cartoon the "Religion of Peace" burns half the world down in angry protest but when the man they see as one the chief allies of the devil appears in their recently bombed out country there is only a small peaceful protest?

Just strikes me as odd that's all...

When Prescott's Your Peacekeeper Prepare for War!

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more embarrassing for the Labour Party up steps the Labour Party’s greatest embarrassment sticks his head up.

John Prescott says he has "no doubt" Labour will lose the next general election if MPs continue sniping over the party's leadership succession.
Mr Prescott said he had been mediating between Mr Blair and Gordon Brown through "that terrible week last week".

That probably explains why everything went to ratshit in a barrel and knives were drawn at all sides.

Notice though that Prescott can’t say anything like all this fighting is bad for Britain, no it’s all about winning another election. That’s the only thing that matters to these junket hogging parasites, it’s all about staying in power.

I really hope one of them turned to Prescott and said “I have no doubt that Labour will lose the next general election if you keep reaming your secretary, swallowing tax payers’ money and doing absolutely fuck all other than being a fat fucking fecktard, now don’t you have a croquet game to be playing?”

Asked if the backbiting could mean Labour losing the next election, Mr Prescott told BBC Radio 4's Today programme: "I have no doubt about it if we were doing that for a few more weeks - I have no doubt it will affect us. We have not got the luxury of... making press comments in the way that's been last week without the electorate saying... 'we can't support this government'."

Er.... the public don’t support this government Prezza.... where have you been since May? Your current polls show 30-32% at best. Event the betting markets are showing Tories as having the most seats come next time round. You were going to lose before all this ferret sack fighting started.

Mr Prescott said: "I agree there's been some strong comments made by Members of Parliament, but I say to my colleagues, you're one third of the election process.

It’s worth noting that phrase.... the MP’s are one third the election process. 360 MPs carry the same voting weight as the entire Labour Party membership.

See Political Betting’s excellent article for the details.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Does Anyone Believe This Shit?

Ridiculous simpering twat site Keeping the Faith has publicised what it believes (no it can’t actually believe this shit can it?) to be Tony Blair’s 50 top achievements since 1997.

Shall we have a look?

Tony Blair's Achievements
Tony Blair's top 50 achievements since being elected in 1997:

1. Lowest inflation since the 60s
Well unsurprising given that we’ve stopped using the Retail Prices Index... if you have a look at the Retail Prices Index since the 60s (which you can do
here) you’ll see that this isn’t really the case.

2. Low interest rates
Even an old Tory like your good Gutternsipe here can’t fault the decision to let the Bank of England set the interest rates. What fecks me off is that Blair and Brown keep claiming credit for the low interest rates when it wasn’t their decision. Would they take the blame if the BOE put interest rates up to 25%? I doubt it.

3. Introduced the National Minimum Wage
Great.... what we have now is a shit load of illegal immigrants who work below minimum wage and don’t comlplain about it since its more money than they’ve seen in their life. Meanwhile the low end of the pay scale workers in Britain faced redundancy rather than the glittering pay rise that the minimum wage offered. Twat!

4. Record police numbers in England and Wales
No record numbers of Community Support Officers in England and Wales. No powers, cheaper alternative but nice uniform. Record crime levels as well – figures.

5. Cut overall crime by 35 per cent
No you fecking haven’t. It’s well established that the only person to have cut crime on his watch was Michael Howard. However much you may dislike him the stats back him up.

6. Record levels of literacy and numeracy in schools
Then how come record numbers of school leavers can’t read and write? It wasn’t like this under Major.

7. Best-ever primary school results
Only ever primary school results since it was Blair that started all the tests and league tables.

8. Funding for every pupil in England to double (since 1997) by 2007-08
Just a shame it hasn’t been done yet.

9. Lowest unemployment for 29 years
But the jobless total has risen given that most people who were ‘unemployed’ before are now on disability. Those that have got jobs are doing jobs we don’t need doing in the public sector. Nice figures massage if you can get it.

10. Written off up to 100 per cent of debt owed by poorest countries
While getting the UK into the most debt it has ever seen without a low tax level to bail it out when the payments get too much.

11. 78,700 more nurses
More nursing graduates maybe but 1 in 4 can’t find a vacancy.

12. 27,400 more doctors
All Indian since all our universiy entrants are studying diversity theory

13. Brought back matrons to hospital wards
But the nurses aren’t nursing, they’re off being Nurse Practitioners and pretending to be doctors.

14. Devolved power to the Scottish Parliament
Yes... the power to vote on English Tuition fees without allowing the reciprocal courtesy.

15. Devolved power to Welsh Assembly
To do what exactly?

16. Banned anti-personnel mines
Did we use anti-personnel mines under the Tories?

17. NHS Direct offering free convenient patient advice at any time
Which you may remember is stopping because nobody uses it, it’s crap and is going to become a digital TV station instead. How about opening a few hospitals? Oh sorry.. you don’t have the money do you?

18. New Deal - helped over a million people into work
Nope.... kept a million people dependent on the state for a reasonable income.

19. Local government funding has increased by a third in real terms
OK we all know the use of the words ‘in real terms’ means ‘we’re talking absolute knackers’. Funding may be up but its spent on press officers and diversity advisers when what we want is clean streets and good community facilities.

20. Equalised the age of consent for gay men

21. Free entry to all national museums and galleries
Let’s rewrite that shall we? “21. Banned national museums from charging entry” – no further investment and now national treasures such as the Royal Armouries, British Museum and Imperial War Museum are resorting to begging bowls in the foyer.

22. Overseas aid budget more than doubled
Nice to know our hard earned money is propping up Somalian Islamism eh?

23. Restored city-wide government to London
So far we’ve had 3 devolution arguments which is basically claiming “Tony delegated 3 areas of his responsibility to someone else” hardly an achievement. That’s like me saying one of my great achievements is getting Lady Guttersnipe to sit my Driving Test.

24. Child benefit up 25 per cent since 1997
In line with Retail Price Index Inflation so not really an achievement is it?

25. Created Sure Start to help children from low income households
Yet all the surveys show Sure Start to be a complete failure. The only people who think otherwise are Blair sycophants and Polly Toynbee.

26. Introduced the Disability Rights Commission
Because the Disabled didn’t have rights before?

27. £200 winter fuel payment to pensioners & extra £100 for over-80s
Yeah... but only in election year wasn’t it?

28. The biggest rolling stock replacement programme ever seen on our railways
Done by the private companies that run the train services. Why don’t we focus on fleecing Railtrack’s shareholders? Whether you like RailTrack or not those people have a right to their investment being returned.

29. Negotiated the historic Good Friday Agreement in Northern Ireland
Yeah... how’s that going along now...

30. Over 30,000 more teachers in England schools
No... 30,000 more classroom assistants in schools. See Community Support Officers above.

31. Implemented the Freedom of Information Act
But only after you shredded anything we wanted to read.

32. All workers now have a right to 4 weeks’ paid holiday
And bosses who couldn't afford to meet that commitment laid their staff off - how's that good for the worker?

33. Record rises in the state pension
And record amounts of taxation on private pension funds so they’re going to need it now.

34. 700,000 children lifted out of relative poverty
By redefining poverty.

35. Introduced child tax credit giving more money to parents
Oh yes... more money to parents. How can I possibly be grateful that people seem to deserve my hard earned money simply because they have had a child? And then you go and overpay by £2m quid.

36. Banned handguns
Banned our Olympic Pistol Shooting Team (for which we go Gold, you’ll need that come 2012). The criminals on the other hand have more handguns than ever before.

37. Cut long-term youth unemployment by 75 per cent
By getting them all on media degrees and aromatherapy courses, in fact anything other than a fucking job!

38. Free nursery places for three and four-year-olds in England, Scotland and Wales
Er.... we had state nurseries before... Guttersnipe went to one, the last time I checked it still wasn’t charging.

39. Free fruit for all four to six-year-olds at school
No doubt to supplement that diet of Turkey Twizzlers and shite that the state feeds our already fat fecktard children.

40. Free school milk for five, six and seven-year-olds in Wales
Given that it’s Wales only I’d put this down as a Welsh Assembly achievement which I believe Bliar isn’t a member of.

41. Record police numbers in Scotland
See above but substitute Scottish Parliament for Welsh Assembly

42. Implemented the Human Rights Act
And made sure his Human Rights Barrister wife was never out of work while the rest of us are now surrounded by Islamist goons waiting to explode at a moment’s notice.

43. Cleanest rivers, beaches, drinking water and air since the industrial revolution
So let me get this straight.... during the Industrial Revolution our rivers were cleaner?

44. Free TV licences for over-75s
However the licence fee went through the roof for the rest of us

45. Banned fur farming and the testing of cosmetics on animals
er... we didn’t have these things in the UK before 1997.

46. Halved maximum waiting times for NHS operations
No... you declared that the maximum allowed waiting time would be halved, the hospitals still miss these targets and the patients still wait for the operations.

47. Free local bus travel for over-60s
No.... free National Express bus travel for the over 60s.

48. Record number of students in higher education
Because the A levels are easier and the courses are shite. How many media degrees do we need?

49. Extended the Race Relations Act so that all public bodies and functions now have a duty to promote race equality
And as such allowed a culture of political correctness to such an extent that the straight white working male feels like a minority.

50. Five, six and seven-year-olds in class sizes of 30 or less
Mentored by a classroom assistant and still unable to read.

There you have it Guttersnipes... makes you proud to be British doesn’t it?

That Brown - Blair Unity For You.

Given that Our Cheshire Cat Chancellor harped on yesterday about his unity with Tony Blair, who finds it surprising that he’s been writing in The Sun today setting out his foreign policy issues?

.... Anyone?

In a few days, I will visit New York, and reaffirm to the American people that Britain — under the courageous leadership of Tony Blair — stands now as then, shoulder to shoulder with them.

Given that America currently considers Britain to be the source of its major threats I doubt Dubya’s going to find that comforting. Standing shoulder to shoulder is all well and good but while we’re doing all this standing we’re letting every crazy jihadi into our country and onto planes to the States.

In al-Qaeda, we face an enemy driven by hatred of our very existence.

Yet we still let them in and give them social security. Please explain Gordon, please.

Between justice and evil, humanity and barbarism, democracy and tyranny, no one can afford to be neutral or disengaged.
That is why — even as we mourn the losses from a dark week in Iraq and Afghanistan — Britain can take pride that our heroic armed forces are leading in the global fight we must wage against terrorism.

Hang on a minute... aren’t you currently the Chancellor? Is Foreign Policy and international diplomacy your thing? Let me think...

No it fecking isn’t... I might not like the Margaret “Pig Eyed Horse Frightener” Beckett but let the woman do her job. Get back to your fucking desk you bean counting extortionist and stay out of what doesn’t concern you.

I have already doubled the money we spend on security since 9/11 to £2billion per year, and I guarantee we will continue to spend whatever it takes to meet the new security demands we face, and our military commitments abroad.

So how come our forces are having to beg body armour, getting killed because they’re in a Land Rover rather than an APC, running out of ammunition and having the protective crash foam for aircraft denied because of money issues?

Why are our armed forces constantly complaining that the complex infantry operations they are required to undertake cannot be done due to lack of helicopters?

Is it because you’ve spent a fucking fortune on the Joint Strike Fighter which has zero use in any of the theatres of operation we are currently involved in?


So — as well as money — we must ensure our police have the powers they need.

Yes we should, and since 1997 you’ve ensured that they have neither.

So, alongside the national ID card scheme, our next step must be the introduction of biometrics in new passports and visas, and the screening of all passengers.

I’ve said this before and I’m going to say it again.

Enough with the ID Cards... they are only going to protect us from terrorism if they are 7 feet tall and made of kevlar.

And this is Labour's Great White Hope? Jesus...