Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Did You Find What You Were Looking For?

The shit some people search for... and why do they find me through it?

October's highlights...
  • masturbation in young muslims
  • accidental masturbation (seriously... who searches for this? - RG)
  • young kids in bra
  • one boy fuck with her anty
  • polly the clone died
So... Did you find what you were after?

However hats off to the one wandering guttersnipe who searched for:

"long speech with cunt in it"

You will find that here in abundance.

Bricks At The Ready!

My fine and dear Prodicus has tagged me to calmly and rationally announce the “10 People I most want to hit in the face with a Brick”.

Now I’m going to keep this mostly to people you will know of so I’m leaving out the Former Lady Guttersnipe (who is a venomous hag) and my former business partner (who is a Class 1 High Cunt).

It also specifies people so I must leave out the French, Socialists as a collective group, people who own horses, People with “Baby on Board” in the back of their car and new parents. However I am sure there will be a few socialists in there.

So are we sitting comfortably?

In no real order except number 1.

10 Hazel Blears – As the Snob once commented she is the The Capo de Capi of New Labour Harridan cunt-witches. Every time this woman appears on the news Lady Gutternsipe leaves the room and comes back just to check my blood pressure. Everything about the woman just sets my blood boiling from that incessant painted on smile and constant nodding like the Churchill dog… Is the Government doing anything worthwhile Hazel? “OH YES”.

9 John Prescott – If ever there was a better case for making sure that all employed people can speak English it’s this fucking clown. People poke fun at Bush for not getting his words out right but for fuck’s sake Prescott makes Bush look like the fucking Poet Laureate. Now, as you may have noticed, I don’t like socialists but I particularly despise socialists who spend their entire life banging on about the lives of the working classes and then fuck it all off as soon as they get a tax funded Jag and a diary secretary (see
here and here). The sooner he gets back on the fucking boats and sails into an iceberg the better.

8 Amy Winehouse – Why the fuck does the world think she’s great eh? She might sing well but frankly so does Kylie Minogue and yet she manages to do it without getting off her tits on copious amounts of Class A substances. Stick her in jail and throw away the fucking key… maybe then she’ll sing the blues. How the fuck did she get a MOBO? Have they abandoned their racist principle and started giving awards to white people now? If not then she’s not black you fuckwits. The only thing whiter than her goes up her nose.

7 Chris Martin, lead singer of Coldplay – Every time this bloke appears he has some sort of interfering fucking thing to say about American politics. Every time. Just play the fucking songs will you? You floppy haired fucking cocktard! The day that the British charts are topped by a duet between Iain Duncan Smith and Ann Widdicombe I may support musicians banging on about politics until then Martin can just shut the fuck yup…. And although he doesn’t quite make the list yet Bono can fuck right off as well.

6 Cherie Blair – If there was one person in the New Labour set up that was more fucking deserving of a brick in the face it was Supermum fucking Cherie. What a dish faced fucking hag. Aside from the Human Rights Act being her idea she then went and fucking lined hers and her family’s pockets with it and fucked off. I really cannot put into words how this woman deserves not only a brick but an entire fleet of bricks.

5 Diane Abbott – Another in the series of fucking champagne bastard socialists wrecking my enjoyment of “This Week”. Smug fucking grin and fat fucking arse and constantly banging on about getting rid of grammar schools and private education despite sending her kids to a private school. But hey… why have a single standard when you can have a double.

4 Tony Blair – Have you ever met such a cunt ever in all of your life? Smiling fucking cunting cunt who grinned his way through selling us all dow the riuver so he could fuck off to Cliff’s house every year while using our money as a wankcloth. He slimed his way out of everything he ever touched and grinned the fucking unwashed morons into supporting him and his fucking regime at every turn. Lying fucking cunt! There is so much blood on this man’s hands he should be taken out and shot, and does he give a fuck?

3 Yvette Cooper – I have a personal fucking dislike of this woman based entirely on her hijacking an event I was once running in her constituency and turning it into a fucking “Vote Labour” speech. To have the fucking brassneck to get on the microphone and announce “Isn’t it great to see all this investment in the area?” when I had done the event at cost just to launch the business is fucking unforgiveable. I hate her and her wide-eyed fucktard of a husband.

2 Trevor Philips – Yes Chairman of the Commision for fucking racism. Every time there is anything to do with any ethnic minority we get this guy’s smug twat blinkered opinion that we should be giving black people special treatment for being black. You’re supposed to be standing up for equality you fucking spineless cocksucker. Equality! That means that I want to see you opposing the Association of Black Police Officers, the MOBO awards, the fucking Young Black Achiever awards. Why is he allowed to get away with this shit?

1 Gordon Brown – There is very little I can say here that has not been said by the many people who have preceded me with Brown. So I will just say cunt! Once doesn’t really do it justice but I could not possibly use the word cunt enough to describe my feelings here. Cunt!

Some people haven’t made the list and would be worthy of entry except for the fact that I wouldn’t waste a brick on them when I could find a perfectly good mincing machine to press their smug fucking faces into…

Clare Short, George Galloway, Patricia Hewitt, Ruth Kelly, and the person who leaves empty envelopes in After Eight Mint boxes… bastards!

Now I need to go calm down so I tag
Harry Haddock and Dizzy to act in my stead.

Brazen Fucking Number Crunching

Having a good trawl through Tyler’s fine blog getting myself all worked up about Alison feckless fucktard Goulding again I have found Tyler highlighting this graph.

Now… let’s have a look at this as it goes back some time. Right in fact to the heartland Labour party argument that if we have a Tory government then we’ll hark back to the days of 3 million unemployed and all that lefty socialist fuckwittery that they bang on about.

Looking at this graph I’ll deal with rough figures here.

Back in the glory days that they all bang on about, being 1986 we have 3 million people unemployed and roughly 1.1 million people on incapacity benefit.

Now in 2005 we have roughly 900,000 people unemployed and roughly 2.75 million on incapacity benefit.

So we have had a drop from 4.1 million to 3.65 million. Not exactly a huge drop is it? We’ve basically just swapped the Unemployment claimants over to claiming IB instead. Another classic Labour party tactic of move the figures into another column and the whole problem fucking goes away.

But it doesn’t.

Also look at the above graph, for all the Tories unemployment etc woes, they had pretty much got rid of it all by the time that Labour came into power in 1997, and what happens then? The fucking IB claims go through the roof as Labour just starts spoonfeeding the nation’s fucktards with our money.

When Brown bangs on about unemployment let’s all remember that all he’s done is his usual twatfuckery of swapping the figures.

He did the same with inflation as well.

They've Got It Coming Now!

A rather disturbing headline on the BBC:

Blears targets Islamic extremism


Sadly this is not by going on a personal search of Afghanistan looking for Bin Laden, but by organising a “web based project”.

Now who thinks that a live beheading on the internet would be a suitable web-based project?

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

If Ever There Was a Better Case For The Death Penalty

The Humble Devil has alerted me to the unwashed fucking waste of time and effort that is Alison Goulding.

Scrounger Alison Goulding rakes in thousands of pounds a year of your hard-earned cash - but she still wants MORE.

And she's even praying for one of her EIGHT children to be diagnosed with a serious medical condition so she can carry on freeloading.

Alison - who is five months pregnant - reckons she's been left struggling on the breadline by uncaring benefits chiefs.

Yet her family pocket more than £20,000 a year in handouts, even though none of them has done a day's work this century. They pay NOTHING for their three-bed house, which boasts a new ultra-modern kitchen.

The home is littered with state-of-the-art goodies including FIVE tellies - including a £1,000 widescreen - a hi-fi, Sky TV, two Play-Station 2s and four DVD players.

And their huge garden boasts a full-size trampoline, two sets of swings and FIVE mountain bikes.

But Alison, 38, insists she hasn't got enough to get by.

Oh for fuck’s sake. Let’s look at a few things here.

Your good Guttersnipe and Lafy Guttersnipe have a job each, and a business each and at the moment are sitting in our 2 BEDROOMED HOME freezing our Snipes off because we cannot get our boiler fixed. We are, in short, rather skint. One of the many reasons we are skint is because we are paying good hard earned money to this scrote and her 8 fucking scrotey fuckwits that she conveyer belts out of her money grabbing snatch on a regular basis.

You have enough to get by…

The giro jockey said: "We're not scum - we've been ignored by the council.
"We're forced to live on top of each other and it's not fair.

Now one of the reasons this article is so late in coming is that every time I read this section I had to go and have a lie down while Lady Guttersnipe played calming music to me, she then cleaned up the blood that I had snorted out of my nose and made sure I was OK.
However, could it cross the mind of this human piece of catshit that the reason the council ignores her is because she IS SCUM.

And as for “We’re forced to live on top of each other” if the two adults in this house spent less time on top of each other then they might have a bit of time to say work.

"This is worse than how some people in developing countries have to live."

The sheer fucking brass neck of this bottom of the barrel fuckbag is breathtaking. How many developing countries has she seen?

"I asked for an extension, just another two bedrooms, but the council won't do one unless you have a disability.

"So we're waiting for tests to see if Brandon has ADHD.

"It may sound horrible but we hope he has because it could help us get more housing points - or maybe the extension."

You know I’d smack the spongeing bitch round the face and body with a sharpened hammer were it not for the fact that it would give her that ever elusive disability that she seeks.

On top of that, the family get £10 gift vouchers from Boots for each of the kids at Christmas.
But Alison said: "It's rubbish - you can't get anything decent for that from Boots." The People met Alison at her home in Beeston, Nottingham, as the family prepared for a half-term break to Skegness.

And Alison defended claiming so many handouts by saying: "Even if we could work, we'd be worse off because you have to pay for childcare and rent.

You know this is how serial killers start… when they interview my neighbours after I’ve brutally killed say a Nottingham family of 10 they will say “Oh yes Guttersnipe was a fine lad, quiet type, just used to read the paper and sit at his computer”

Alison also hinted she was losing out to immigrants.

She said: "There were these lovely four-bed houses round the corner but an Asian family got one.

Then might I suggest that there is now a vacant house in Asia that needs filling?

And patting her bump, she added: "God knows where I'm going to put this latest one."

Adoption as an example?

The couple are now considering taking the council to the European Court of Human Rights.Alison said: "We only want what's fair."

Here’s what’s fair. You get a state benefit equivalent to minimum wage and that is your fucking lot. If after 6 months you still haven’t sorted your life out then it is stopped and you’re on your own.

If you don’t like it then FUCK OFF maybe to one of those far better developing countries you are harping on about.

You vacuous, disease ridden, dogshit worthy slag.

I hope you die soon.

Tyler takes up the reins here with less swearing and more facts / figures
The Devil swears a lot here too… go see

Pot - Kettle I think


At the opening of the Two Kingdoms Dialogue between the two countries, Mr Howells told the audience that both the UK and Saudi Arabia respected each other's religious and political traditions and have common reason to work together for increased security.

Yup…. An example of those political traditions:

Human rights in Saudi Arabia are generally considered to be minimal or non-existent.[1]. Under the authoritarian rule of the Saudi royal family, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has enforced strict sharia religious laws under a doctrine of Wahabism. Many western freedoms as described in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights do not exist; it is alleged that capital punishment and other penalties are often given to suspected criminals without due process.

You can see why a Labour minister would respect that can’t you?

Especially when he has this sort of background:

Howells is the son of the late Glanville Howells, a Communist lorry driver, and of Joan Glenys Howells. A former Communist himself, he was born in Merthyr Tydfil, Wales and raised in Penywaun near Aberdare in the Cynon Valley.

Speaking through an interpreter, the Saudi monarch said he believed most countries were not taking the issue seriously, "including, unfortunately, Great Britain".

Britain might have raised the 7th July bombers I’ll grant you. But isn’t Saudi Arabia responsible for bringing us this forward thinking voice of moderation?

Not doing enough to combat terrorism? You make me fucking larf…

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Words Once Again Fail Me...


The Tories have said there is "no possibility" of agreement on party funding while Labour refuses to put a cap on trade union donations.

Justice Secretary Jack Straw accused the Tories of misunderstanding union fees and behaving in a partisan way.

Now personally I fucking hate this. It’s not like me to turn my acidic pen against the Tories but why the fuck are we even talking about state funding of political parties? Why the fuck are we?

OK I know why Labour are talking about it, because they want to change the rules because they are so fucking lame when it comes to actually obeying them. However the question that we blues should be asking is “Why can’t you just obey the rules that are in place?”

Typical fucking socialists. They have this dreamy fucking idea that any sort of crime is not their fault… “Oh it’s because the rules failed to prevent it” rather than “Oh it’s because we’re a mendacious bunch of cunts who sold our democracy to the highest bidder”.

Now back to the story…

Justice Secretary Jack Straw accused the Tories of misunderstanding union fees and behaving in a partisan way.

Just exactly how are we behaving in a “partisan way” eh? The Labour party has some very big union backers who finance their plans to get into power (and incidentally then just go on strike all them time when they do). The Tories have very big business backers who finance their plans to get into power.

Straw and his non-partisan fuckscrotes would like to see the individual business backers capped but the unions untouched.

Just how is that non-partisan you scrawny grey fucking fuckgroper?

“Labour says they should be treated as a series of small donations from individuals and says it will not allow its historic link with the unions to be broken.”

“Mr Straw said Mr Herbert had "totally misunderstood" union funding - saying members could opt out of paying a political levy. He said each party had had to accept "quite significant compromises" and he still hoped to reach a consensus.”

So… they can opt out of the political levy in the same way as say someone with £8 million can? Do they get a choice about which political party gets that levy? Do they?

Do they fuck….

This is nothing more than cutting down the money available to the Opposition parties? Didn't Hitler and Stalin have similar ideas?

“He added: "There has only ever been one party which has sought to act in a partisan way when it comes to party funding and that is the Conservative Party."”

This is why most Labour peers have been big Labour donors is it? WE tend to make our donors knights. This does not carry any extra weight regarding legislation. YOU make your big donors Lords and allow them unelected into Parliament.

Considering that 12 year old speccy cocknudge Alexander has had to apologise for getting all partisan with the Scottish election, that it was Labour’s fucking fundraiser that was investigated by the Bill, and that it does appear to be “non-partisan” Labour who are wanting to remove the opportunity for their opponents to be financed I say the following:

Take your fucking funding suggestions Straw, ram them up your fucking arse and then light them with the flaming head of Hazel Blears.

Fucking Fucking Fucks!

Calmer now!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

You Just Can't Make It Up!!!

What the f….?

The Metropolitan Police chief who led the cash-for-honours inquiry said he received "less than full co-operation" from some people involved in the probe.

What are we going to hear next? Possibly this?

The Metropolitan Police chief who led the inquiry into the robbery complained that “Fingers” Harris hadn’t confessed.

Since when were the Police expectant of receiving full cooperation from the people that they are investigating? For fuck’s sake.. how long has it been since this guy actually had to track down a real villain and bang him up good and proper?

There’s more to policing than just appearing on Crimewatch and expecting a queue of people coming forward to confess you know.

Fucking hell… I want my Council Tax back.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Who'd Have Thought It?

According to The Wrong Man:

"Dr Seldon's book says 40-year-old Mr Balls regarded Mr Blair as a "moron" and egged on Mr Brown to drive him from office."

Well I never thought I would agree with Ed Balls on anything.

You live and learn…

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The Leader Goes... The Bullshit Stays

The LibDems are out in force in the media today announcing that there was no plot to remove the doddering old coffin dodger that was Sir Menzies Campbell.

For fuck’s sake, have some fecking honestly will you? There can be more than one nasty party you know?

For all Iain Duncan Smith’s credits, he was not the most inspirational leader and therefore we got rid of him. He’s still involved doing what he’s good at and we value his contribution, especially when it comes to tearing a strip off the sanctimonious wide-eyed fucktard Ed “I look like I’m being raped with a prize-winning marrow” Balls.

But basically, we got rid of him, then we admitted that we’d got rid of him as well.

But not the LibDems. So explain this sandal boys? If this was Ming’s decision that he’s thought about for a long time and was taking into account the effect that his image may have on the party then how come he’s gone from saying “I have plenty of life left in me yet” on Question Time and such references to his spirit and drive etc etc to resigning in the space of a fortnight.

Can’t? Well it seems they’ve started talking a load of steaming bollocks already and I for one do not expect them to stop.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

No Posting Till Monday

No I've not suddenly joined the CWU... I'm away until Monday on work stuff now and no bloody internet access.

Blogging returns on Monday.

Now, no doubt, something really major will happen like Gordon gets gang-raped with vegetables by 200 members of the Tax Payers Alliance. If only...

In the mean time... keep sniping!

A Sudden But Terrifying Thought...

A bit behind I know but there’s been some ranting and raving about this email from the Sergeant at Arms.

With effect from today, staff and other users should be prepared to give way to Members when queuing for retail and catering services, the post office, travel office or when using other facilities such as lifts, photocopiers, telephone cubicles, etc. When using parliamentary facilities, please bear in mind whether there is, or is likely to be, a heavy demand from Members and, if so, try to amend your own plans or schedule.

This has of course been covered by my erstwhile colleague in the
Kitchen, so I’m not going to re-cover old ground.

But the thought occurred to me that what are the odds that Prescott rethinks resigning as an MP now that he can jump the queue for the all day breakfast?

If At First You Do Succeed.... Try Again.

Press release from Conservative Party:

In yesterday's Pre Budget Announcement (PBR), Alistair Darling announced the early introduction of the flat rating of the State Second Pension (S2P). The original deadline for this reform was the end of the next parliament, not until around 2014. Bringing this change forward has raided over £2 billion from people's pension funds over the next five years.

This merely goes to show that the government will only take its cock out of your ass to stuff some more of your own money up there instead.

I fucking hate you all.

Hat Tip: Prodicus

Toynbee's Met Her Match

Yesterday was one of those good days to be a Tory. This morning I see it happily continues with these excerpts from our good and dear press:

"David Cameron raised the political temperature of the House of Commons yesterday with a devastating attack on Gordon Brown's lack of "moral authority"." -

"Gordon Brown endured a Commons humiliation on Wednesday as David Cameron, the Conservative leader, pinned him against the ropes over his retreat from a general election and his government’s “copy cat” mini-budget." - FT

"At Prime Minister’s Questions yesterday – as close as the Commons gets to burning a man at the stake – Mr Brown struck me as briefly the bravest man in Britain." - Matthew Parris in The Times

"In the first Prime Minister's Questions since the summer recess, the Opposition leader berated a weakened Prime Minister for shilly-shallying over calling an election, plagiarising Tory policy on inheritance tax and breaking a promise to hold a referendum on EU reform." -
Telegraph leader

"It was a disastrous Prime Minister’s Questions for Gordon Brown. He must have known what was coming and yet he reacted to Tory taunts with the incoherent fury of a wounded grizzly bear: rearing back, teeth bared, claws extended, eyes ablaze. " - Ann Treneman in
The Times

A good range there I’m sure you’ll agree a couple of the Brown-leaning papers coming over onto our side. So, with this about turn of the media I thought I’d have a look at that sterling and upright news paper The Mirror. More expensive than common toilet paper and comes pre-filled with shit.

Now I was never expecting the Mirror and resident spunkwipe Kevin Maguire to come over to our side. But really, are they watching the same as me?

Brown lands a knockout blow
Thick red lines drawn between Labour and the Conservatives on schools and hospitals; clear blue water muddied by tax...
This was Gordon Brown at his canniest and simultaneously most shameless - the Premier's chuckles are evidence of how he has, once again, turned the tables on the Tories.

Listen Kevin, in fact no don’t listen. I doubt you could listen, nor in fact could your brain-dead communist readership, unless it was about what drug-addled fucktard has been removed from the Big Brother House this week.

No Downing Street tenant needs an election when he can devote two years to pressing buttons to make things happen while his opponents squeal impotently from the sidelines.
Chancellor Alistair Darling's extra £2billion for health and education defended traditional Labour territory and challenged the Cons.

And his cheeky rifling of the Tory wardrobe to steal vote-winning clothes on tax was brilliant, if cynical, politics.

I’ll tell you what’s fucking cynical, Maguire old boy. It’s fucking cynical that this shower of shitslicers have opposed a cut in IHT since the dawn of time. Well, at least opposed it until the opinion polls suggested that the Tory idea was popular and then Hey fucking presto it becomes a Labour idea.

Let’s have a look at what old fucking eyebrows is saying (courtesy of
Iain Dale)

‘I don't think this proposal really has much support across the political spectrum.’Alistair Darling, The Times, 21 August 2006

‘It may make for a headline, but I don't think it makes for a prudent and sensible tax and spend policy.'Alistair Darling, The Times, 21 August 2006

'Inheritance tax brings in about £ 3 billion a year. If you get rid of it, it follows that some other tax has to go up or you have to cut some public spending, on health and education and so on.’Alistair Darling, The Times, 21 August 2006

All seems a little bit distant now doesn’t it? Cling to power whatever the cost you cock!

The full, foam-frothing fury of Darling's Tory shadow - posh boy George Osborne - was eloquent testimony to the impact of the government's package.

Posh boy? This is just fucking typical of the socialist movement isn’t it? They can’t actually fault George Osborne’s idea on account of the fact that they nicked it so instead they go for his background. They’d be the first to complain if the Daily Mail or Telegraph started referring to Labour MPs as peasants.

Unintelligent bollocks.

One Labour MP barked like a dog, mocking a rabid Osborne who demanded his policies back. A minister fumbled in his pocket to send me a text suggesting Brown call that early election after all. The election fiasco bruised Brown but he remains the master strategist, the Labour man against Tory boys.

Are they really looking at the same events as me? Really? The fucking one-eyed dribbling cocktard was stuttering here and snatching policies there or just blindly changing the subject when he couldn’t think of anything to say, which was nearly all the time.

No doubt one Labour MP barked like a dog because frankly if he could say anything coherent he wouldn’t be a Labour MP… and clearly one of them fumbles just to use a mobile phone.

Meanwhile, the economy is heading for a bumpy ride, with the days of free spending in Whitehall over. Requiring wealthy tax dodgers to pay up has come a decade late - Labour embarrassingly limbering up for action only after the Cons moved first.

Oh this is priceless…. “the economy is heading for a bumpy ride” – whose fault is that then? I’ll tell you shall I?


You can’t fucking sit there taking credit for the economy for the last 10 years and then just trump up and say “well dodgy times happen you know”. We’re fecking skint. We’re skint because that bastard robbed us of all our money to fucking modernize the unions, fuck up GP contracts, start wars, fly all over the fucking world first class and allow the former Deputy PM a nice Brazillian teak table to bend his secretary over.

The higher 18 per cent rate to be levied on the private inequity pirates who are gobbling up companies still leaves multimillionaires paying a lower rate than their cleaners.

Kevin... Let’s look at the overall picture shall we? First of all the millionaire is paying a higher rate than the cleaner unless the cleaner is the owner of a small business, which most aren’t. The income tax rate is unchanged but the Capital Gains Rate is changed.
So it’s all well and dandy making these comparisons but do compare the same thing. If you’re going to spout anti-capitalist bilge then at least make it accurate anti-capitalist bilge.
Unless you’re thinking of treating the electorate like fools.

Cleaner works 20 hours a week for minimum wage = about £5,000pa, tax bill = 0
Millionaire = £1,000,000pa, tax bill = approx £396,000

So who’s doing the country out of tax now eh Kevin?

Yet the abrupt end of Brown's honeymoon as Father of the Nation might prove a blessing in disguise. If practical policies to help hard-working families and make Britain fairer is the result, the hullabaloo will have been no bad thing.
Tory toffs, led by David Cameron and Osborne, liked Tony Blair but hated Brown. After yesterday, they probably detest him.

This was why, of course, that the Tories thought for a long time that Gordon Brown was the best electoral asset that they could hope for was it? The Tories liked Tony Blair so much that they went through 3 leaders trying to find someone who’d beat him? Man you’re a fuckwit aren’t you?

Big tasks lie ahead - not least winning the case for taxes to fund high-quality public services.

He’s won the case for taxes to fund high quality public services, he won that 10 years ago. It’s the case for further taxes to fund high quality public services that we still haven’t seen that’s the issue.

Labour's red lines are welcome, the murky blue waters less so.
But cocky Cameron has, yet again, foolishly underestimated Brown.
Will the toff never learn?

Foolishly underestimated Brown? Oh for fuck’s sake… words fail me, which is a bit of a problem for a blogger.
The only words that come to mind are “Fuck Off”

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Where The Hell Are The Postmen?

Every day on my way to work I have cause to pass a few of the main delivery offices of my area…. And they are deserted, as you might understand there being a strike on.

But wait…

I remember when strikes were proper strikes. You know… load of blokes in woolly hats sat round an oil drum screaming “Scab” at anyone who looked like they might go into the car park… but today? Nothing.

Much as I hate unions, and strikes when you’ve clearly got a good deal, I could have a grudging respect for the blokes who manned the picket lines and froze their little socialist tits off while doing so.. but the postmen? Where the fuck are they?

From where I’m standing they’re clearly sat at home watching Jeremy Kyle.

Get back to work or get out in the cold and shout at people…. One or the other!

PMQs: A Fuller Fisking!

I felt like a damn good fisking...

The BBC’s point by point of PMQs:

· Conservative MP Robert Neill asked Mr Brown to congratulate his local Tory-controlled authority in Bromley on its recycling record - and taunted Mr Brown by offering to show him its "bottle banks" - a reference to claims Mr Brown had "bottled out of" calling an early election.

· Mr Brown replied he should be pleased with the public expenditure settlement made on Tuesday which gives more money to the environment.

So after all the tax hikes all the financial mismanagement, all of our money blown on Prescott’s fucking love life, our Great Leader Slackjawed One-Eyed Buttfucker of Middle England thinks that more money is going to solve problems.

Attention TaxGuts! It’s the fact that YOU keep spending OUR money that we’re fucked off with in the first place. The reason that the Tories are doing so nicely in the polls mate is that they’re planning to stop taking our money of us. Got it yet?

· Tory leader David Cameron said Mr Brown was suffering a "credibility gulf" over his decision not to call a general election.
· Mr Brown said he would "take no lectures" from Mr Cameron, saying the Tory leader had changed his mind on policies on parking charges, VAT on air fares, museum charges and grammar schools.

He’ll happily take policies from him though won’t he? Within days…

· Mr Cameron said that if Mr Brown was to be believed he was the first PM in history to "flunk an election because he thought he was going to win it". He also quoted words Mr Brown had written in his book about people of courage.
· Mr Brown said only 26 people have signed a petition calling for an election on the Downing Street website - "and not one of them are on the Conservative front bench".

You’ll note my comments in the article below on this one… all I’ll add is the word TWAT!

· Mr Cameron asked if the chancellor's policies on inheritance tax and non-domiciles had been in the draft pre-Budget report written before the Conservative Party conference.
· Mr Brown replied: "I think if he looks back to the summer at interviews given by the chancellor, he talked about these very issues. And I may say, we have raised the exemption on inheritance tax on ten occasions since 1997. We have dealt with tax avoidance in relation to non-domicile and non-resident on many occasions since 1997. And we are going to continue to make the right decisions for the country."

Whereas everyone in the Financial Services Industry has known that this has lain idly stagnant for the past 20 years. Until of course the Tories have done something about it and lo and behold we have a whole new tax policy right out of the blue. Yes, out of the blue… we wrote it.

· He also questioned the Conservatives' figures on non-domiciles, saying the party could only raise £650m, not £3.5bn as they claimed.

So… they claim that there are 150,000 non-doms @ £25,000 which will produce £650m. Right… so really how much more is a £30,000 charge going to bring in?

Ah… but given that their tax cut is actually just the same as what anyone who takes tax advice now gets, this is just a tax hike. Another fucking tax hike.

· Mr Cameron said Mr Brown had "plotted and schemed" for the job for 10 years and was in danger of losing his "moral authority". He asked: "How long will we have to wait before the past makes way for the future?"
· Mr Brown replied that the Tory leader had pledged an end to the "Punch and Judy" of British politics. He then listed what he called the achievements of the government over the past 10 years.

Look here you fucking fat celt… the abandonment of Punch and Judy politics is the abandonment of opposing a policy just because it was created by the other party. However you have to congratulate Old One Eyes since he no longer opposes Tory policies, he robs them.

· Lib Dem leader Sir Menzies Campbell said the prime minister had stolen Lib Dem policies in order to help the better off - and asked whether he would use Lib Dem policies aimed at helping lower and middle income families by cutting the basic rate of income tax to 16p in the pound.
· Mr Brown said the Lib Dem suggestion would put economic stability at risk but the government had cut income tax.

The government had cut income tax? Not on your fucking life boy. The government streamed income tax so that the people on lower incomes paid a shit truckload more of it and he fucking knows it.

· Mr Campbell asked how projected rises in the council tax could be fair for lower and middle income families.
· Mr Brown said the Lib Dems had a "black hole" in their finances and "would be better going back to the drawing board".

And now he is also dodging questions from Ming the Purposeless… fucking hell he’s on the ropes isn’t he?

· Tory MP Sir Patrick McCormack asked the PM if imitation was the "sincerest form of flattery" - a reference to claims the government had taken Tory and Lib Dem policies.
· Mr Brown replied that on Bank of England independence, the minimum wage and NHS investment - the Tories had opposed those policies then later supported them. "I know who's leading the arguments in this country and it is the Labour Party," he said.

Not leading Gordon… losing there’s a difference. Losing is the reason why you didn’t call an election.

· Tory frontbencher Damian Green asked about Burma and why the PM was trying to deport dissidents back to that "dreadful regime".
· Mr Brown said he would look "sympathetically" at any cases brought to him but said there was an appeals system. He asked for cross-party support on dealing with the Burmese regime and telling them "that what they are doing is completely unacceptable".

Completely unacceptable? Fucking Hell that’s got them told hasn’t it? I might be wrong here but aren’t there somewhere in the region of 400,000 monks telling them that it’s completely unacceptable? Did it work?

What makes you think that hearing it from a visually challenged porker who can’t even quell the Communication Workers Union let alone a foreign dictatorship.

· Former home secretary David Blunkett asked about an "unhelpful" statement by the Association of British Insurers that the money provided by government on flood defences was insufficient and they may not be able to offer full cover.
· Mr Brown said he hoped the Association of British Insurers would not deny people insurance. He said the government had raised flood defences funding to £800m in 2011 from £600m this year. "We are doing everything we can to improve flood defences in this country", he said.

Right moving off Brown for a moment, to his department other visually challenged fucktards. Let me explain how insurance works. Insurance companies assess the risk of an event happening and basically gamble the cost of the event occurring against what they can get paid in premiums if it doesn’t. Hopefully the latter is the higher figure.

If the risk is not worth the reward then they don’t do it. This is their right, it is their money. Who the fuck are you to order people to risk their money on something you’re not going to do anything about? They’re not a compensation dumping ground for when your money runs out you twat!

This is like the Government ordering everyone to go out and bet £50 on a horse that’s certain to come last.

Just fuck off will you?

Right now!

Quicker than that!

Meanwhile At PMQs

From ConservativeHome’s live blog of PMQs.

Cameron: 'He said he would go to the country if polls suggested a Labour majority of 100. He's the first PM in history to flunk an election because he thought he could win it. Has he found a single person who believes his excuses for calling an election?'

Brown responds by saying that only 26 people had signed a Downing Street petition calling for an Election.

Note that response…. And ask yourself how many people signed petitions against ID cards, against the Iraq War, against the Smoking Ban, against everything that these jokers have lumbered us with?

How many signatures does it take before they will do something?

5 Reasons I Have Started Blogging Again

I have returned once more to re-vent the spleen... to be honest work got in the way. One of the real downsides of being self-employed is that suddenly you do something right and then your life is sucked out from under by your clients.

If anyone ever tells you that being your own boss means you can do what you like tell them to fuck off!

Anyways... 5 reasons why I have returned now.

1. I enjoyed it

2.There is so much more material about Brown than there ever was about Blair.. and he’s had the good grace to keep Blears in a job.

3. I didn’t think I could really hate the new lot more than the old lot but whaddya know I do.

4. The Humble Devil introduced me to the word “Fucktrumpet” and you can’t ignore good motivational phrases.

"Your one-eyed fucktrumpet of a leader put us £163 billion in hock last year, not including the ever-mounting scale of the off-balance sheet PFI debts, valued at around £90 billion so far! Shut the fuck up about prudence, you fucking little Gordo-whore."

5. Hopefully one or two of you missed me.

Let’s see what happens

and yes I'll sort the images out when I get home tonight.

Labour Keeps a Promise... Well Blow Me!

This in today’s papers… and a thank you to ConservativeHome for ensuring that I can rant without actually having to read the independent.

"Increases in international aid announced yesterday by the Government will enable Gordon Brown to keep promises given to Bono and Bob Geldoff at the Gleneagles summit on doubling support for Africa. Aid will rise by 11 per cent in real terms over the next three years to more than £9bn in 2010." -

Well that’s just dandy isn’t it? It’s good to see old eyebrows making sure that Labour fulfils its promises to Geldof and fucking “I think you should all pay more tax to fund everything while I make sure that I move mine offshore” Bono.

What about a few promises to us eh? Like oh I don’t know…

Stable housing ladder, EU referendum, affordable housing, working NHS, decent transport.

What about those eh? Well I suppose you’ll manage them as soon as they form part of the Tory manifesto you simmering bunch of twats.

It’s so nice to see that OUR MONEY is being spent propping up those delightful despotic dictatorship regimes. I suppose it’s making them more like here.