Clearly Barking... But no Bite

What the f…?

Police dogs are being muzzled to stop them biting and injuring suspected criminals, it emerged yesterday. The policy, devised by North Wales Police, comes as a result of increased compensation claims from members of the public who have been bitten by police dogs. Officers say the toothless tactic provides a safer way to tackle unco-operative offenders, and it may soon be adopted by dog squads across the country.

For the love of god…. This country, or in fact that country, has officially now gone barking batshit mad.

For years I’ve seen those great displays at country shows where anorak and padding clad copper dressed as a ne’er do well scrote pulls a gun and good old Fido wrestles him to the ground to be arrested and off to live at Her Maj’s Pleasure…

Sadly it seems no more because we can’t be having Fido getting his gnashers around a criminal can we? No… apparently criminals are all innocent victims of society aren’t they?

Fuck all of you.

But critics say it is another example of political correctness gone mad - putting the rights and safety of criminals before cutting crime and protecting the public. Rather than biting suspects, the dogs have instead been trained to disable their targets by leaping at them and delivering a flying 'head-butt'.

And what do you know… they’re right. Now if I’m legging it from the plod, loot in hand what am I going to be most put off by?

- A foaming at the mouth, battle hardened police dog trained to the hilt to rip my throat out as soon as our friendly neighbourhood copper gives the word.

Or

- A muzzled dog who can catch me but if defenceless against a sound kicking that any known criminal is going to give it.

I think the former don’t you?

'It is one of the additional options open to us to muzzle our dogs and get them to use a head butt,' said Sgt Ian Massie. 'We believe it is a safer option for an offender to be head-butted.'

Safer for who? The criminal that’s who… they don’t give a bollocks about the safety of the dog handler who’ll probably be shot, the victim whose rights don’t matter a gnat’s wank anyway or the poor dog who’s got to tackle Fingers the Hoodlum without any form of attack.

Twats

But retired dog handler John Barrett, who served for 18 years with the Metropolitan Police, is critical of the new tactic.
'The 'conflict management model' of policing says that any force must be reasonable under the circumstances. It is clearly to gain control, prevent injury to the officer or others, and prevent damage to property.'

Conflict management model?

Look…. Just nick the fucker… if he resists then beat ten bells out of him.

If the police need to use dogs then let them use dogs unimpeded. If someone’s holding a gun around my good Lady Guttersnipe then as a tax payer and an elector…

I want the fucker’s throat ripped and eaten by a hungry Alsatian.

Got it?