Tuesday, February 06, 2007

What The Feck Were You Thinking?

John Reid wins another Channel 4 Politics Award
If it’s one thing that our government does well it’s make a complete and utter total bollocks of everything it touches. They get the wrong end of the stick and then spend millions fucking everything up.

Now before I start on today’s batshit insanity I offer an apology to regular Guttersnipes. I wanted to avoid yet more monotonous ranting about Reid. I really did! I’m sorry but the ridiculous fucking clown just keeps throwing the ammunition at me. I just can’t resist. I have no willpower when it comes to this… help me.


Sex offenders could be forced to register their e-mail addresses and chatroom names, the government says. Home Secretary John Reid said he may make paedophiles put online identity details on the Sex Offenders Register.

What the ratshit feck is that going to solve? I’ll bet Jonny Nonce is fucking shitting himself now isn’t he? Oh for bollocks sake.

I am one of the most contactable people on the planet. I have 7 email addresses, I have 4 chat aliases, and yes Guttersnipes believe it or not I have a secret identity. I set all of these up in minutes and should Joe Plod come round and insist that I put my real name on a register with a flag saying this is Guttersnipe then no doubt I shall return in a matter of minutes as Gutting Rantersnipe or something.

Mr Reid said: "We already have probably the toughest regime in Europe for identifying sex offenders.

What the hell? Toughest regime? We might know who they are but we sure as bollocks don’t know WHERE they are do we? Jesus Reid what the fuck are you doing?

"But although we are strong, we have to keep ahead of the game and I want to bring in stronger, broader powers to protect our children."
He told the BBC: "If we did that we would then be able to set up mechanisms that would flag up anyone using those addresses or those identities to make approaches and contacts through some of the very popular internet spaces which are used by kids."

Flag up anyone? No hint of flagging up nonces, just people using certain chat handles. What do they do when Jonny Fiddler cancels his account called “JustinTimberlakeLookalike” and then a happy 12 year old kid signs up with the recently vacated name? Poor old newcomer’s going to be on List 99 and away we go.

Although this is NuLab’s method of registering… it probably means he’s guaranteed a job in a school.

Cliff Saran, technology editor of Computer Weekly, told the BBC News website: "I have about five e-mail addresses. It's easy to set up a new one in seconds... it's going to be hard to track that."

Hard? It’s going to be nigh impossible. But then the outcome will be the same since Reid and his cohorts regaularly fuck up the pitifully easy.

"That's the nature of the internet, and the internet's global," said Mr Saran. If everyone had a single internet identity for life, like a National Insurance number, this would make it far easier to track people, he said.

Child internet safety expert John Carr, of children's charity NCH, said: "This is a very welcome move. It will mean that we can extend the Sex Offenders Register regime into cyberspace and that will be a great comfort to many people."

Especially politicians who once again can appear to have done something but in fact will have just sat on their fecking arses reading about Britain’s kids getting touched up in the park.

The latest proposal means their online identities would be treated in exactly the same way as their real name, a Home Office spokesman said. "The home secretary also wants to look at whether it is technologically feasible to set up a system where if someone enters a chatroom with an identity that was already listed on the register, it would 'ping' an alert on the relevant people's computers, enabling them to take appropriate action," he added.

You mean like an ID card? Where is this going to stop? Are we going to be tracking anyone who makes a comment on the Spleen, or the Kitchen, or on Guido’s Blog?

Failure to divulge all the information required could lead to a jail term of up to five years.

Assuming they can find you. I’m sure there are going to be wanted posters all over the place saying “Cute433 Wanted Dead or Alive”.

You fucking fucktards!


Surreptitious Evil said...

Well, we could also ban them from IRC, so they don't get to choose a new nick each time they log in ...


xoggoth said...

Good to see your spleen is back again