What The Hell Are the EU Doing?

From the European Parliament:

“The 14th Dalai Lama met MEPs on Wednesday, notably discussing relations between Tibet and China. He recommended "patience and effort" on the part of MEPs when dealing with China, and said that slow and gradual change in the country would be the best way to contribute to a peaceful negotiated solution.”

Why I ask is the EU concerning itself with the relations between China and Tibet? It has been a while since Guttersnipe’s last geography lesson but he doesn’t remember either being EU states…

They Never Learn Do They?

Prescott has been ranting in the Telegraph today. Were he as wise a ranter as your erstwhile Guttersnipe here he would choose his targets a little better..

“John Prescott has vowed he will not be driven out of office despite growing demands for him to resign as Deputy Prime Minister.

But he remains adamant he will not be forced out. He told The Independent: "I am not going to give in to the media campaign. I am not going to resign. I am going to get on with my job."

Guttersnipe is a little puzzled by this media campaign. The media respond to two forces:

a) that which sells papers
b) that which its readership wants to read

So with that in mind we can reach either of the following conclusions

a) there is no media campaign because Prescott’s buffoonery sells newspapers like tickets to a 17th Century public hanging.

or

b) there is a media campaign because the readership of these newspapers feel outraged that Prescott hasn’t resigned and are looking to the media to do something about it.

So if the media are trying to get rid of Prescott then it’s because they are doing what their public want.

Now the cock up he’s made here like Clarke, Straw and a great many before him is he is accusing the media of having nothing better to do than chase his scalp. Now the gloves can come off, the more he insults the press the more the press will dig up dirt on him… it’s going to get worse for him before it gets better.

Prescott might not be bothered what the press say, but Blair is and he’s binned close friends before because of press attention. Nobody is untouchable.

And I Thought Charles Clarke was a Moron!!!

From Today’s Daily Mail

"It began as a routine photo opportunity, the stock-in-trade of Labour spin doctors.
The idea was to show the embattled Home Secretary getting to grips with the foreign prisoner deportation fiasco. Stung by criticism of his decision to take a holiday while his department is in crisis, John Reid arranged to be photographed attending a series of dawn raids yesterday as police and immigration officers searched for released foreign criminals. "

As soon as I saw the pictures of John Reid joining The Sweeney I thought it was a bad idea… there has never been any problem with arresting these people, the problem has always been what we did with them afterwards. He really should be spending the time in the office getting the deportation orders ready for these people. It’s not like he “helped the police with their enquiries”, they knew where these people were and went and arrested them. He just got in the way.

Now the fallout begins…

"But last night, the stunt appeared to have backfired spectacularly as legal experts warned that his actions could jeopardise the legal process of removing the arrested suspects from Britain.
As he will make the final decision on their fate - and is supposed to exercise his power 'independently' - lawyers for the foreigners could use the incident to argue that he was anything but independent. "

So let’s recap the last few weeks… we have a problem with foreign undesirables remaining in our green and pleasant land. In response the Home Secretary storms in and says “NO MORE COCK UPS!”, dons his flak jacket and promptly hands the defence the mother of all get out clauses.

Let me put this as politely as I can:

YOU USELESS REACTIONARY TWAT!

"Opposition critics last night demanded to know whether the Home Secretary took proper legal advice beforehand. "

I’ll bet you a peerage he didn’t… any decent silk would have said “What are you thinking you moron?”

The Mail provides us with the comments of people who actually know about this sort of thing. The sort of people that Reid’s lining up and shooting like Red Army deserters.

"Keith Best, chief executive of the Immigration Advisory Service, said: "It could put him in an embarrassing situation if he was present at a particular arrest of someone over whom he then has to make a disinterested decision about whether they should be deported.” - Cock Up

"The Home Secretary should stand above operational matters, to be a disinterested party making decisions in a judicial manner." - Cock Up

Mr Best added: "It could put the Home Secretary in the same sort of personal difficulty that Jack Straw found when he said the Afghan hijackers in 2000 would be on the first plane out - until it was pointed out that he was responsible for hearing their asylum claims and he appeared to have prejudged them.

"It was tasteless to attend today and the Home Secretary needs more than gimmicks to sort out the Immigration and Nationality Directorate." - Cock Up

Immigration lawyer Pierre Makhlouf said: "The issue is whether the Home Secretary's presence did lend itself to some bias in the Home Office.
"If this were a case of mine, I would look to see if his presence, combined with a weak or rushed decision, had had an impact on the case." Cock Up!

Shadow Home Secretary David Davis said: "It would be a dreadful outcome if in pursuit of some media coverage he jeopardised the process for anybody who ought to be deported." - Cock Up!

Later, the Home Office played down the significance of the visit, insisting it would have no bearing on any decisions later by Mr Reid.

Of course it wouldn’t… can you picture the headlines if they are found not guilty of anything?

REID ARRESTS INNOCENT MAN!

Fuckwit!

What Are These People Thinking?

I sometimes wonder what goes through the mind of people before they post onto the BBC Have Your Say pages. Below are a couple of the responses to the question “Should John Prescott Resign?”

I’ll clarify that these are by no means reflecting the majority of opinion, they just made me spit tea over my screen.

“I think Prescott has done a fantastic job with respect to planning and regeneration over many years now. It seems very unfair that this should be forgotten after all that he has given to the country.”

“Not a single one of you know what John Prescott has contributed in the last 40 years, none of you know that even without his departments he spends more time than Heseltine did as deputy PM actually working, chairing meetings and reviewing policy. (Rather than stabbing the leader in the back)Ok he made a mistake but the rest of you just read a paper and swallow it hook line and sinker. AND you really think that with that intellectual ability people take your comments seriously. Try looking at fact not fiction.”

Staggering isn't it?

Throwing Money at the Proles!

BBC

"More than £2bn of tax credits has been overpaid for a second year running, the government is expected to confirm. Families given too much during the 2004-2005 financial year could now face having to make reimbursements."

Yet again we’re seeing this happen… second year running!!! I’ll bet a Working Families Tax Credit (overpaid by 20%) that this isn’t the second year it has happened. It’s starting to look like unofficial New Labour policy to throw free money at proles.

Note Auntie Leftie the BBC goes pulling the heart strings with “Families given too much during the 2004-2005 financial year could now face having to make reimbursements.”.. awwwww! How tragic that they have money that isn’t theirs and they have to return it.

The UK Population is about 60 million (source) so this is equivalent to us going out to every man, woman and child in the UK and giving them £33. Twats!

"Citizens Advice has warned the situation in the past has seen people on low incomes borrow money to buy food and being threatened with eviction. "

Well god forbid that people go out and get themselves a better job. When Lady Guttersnipe wanted more money she went and got an extra part time job. Problem solved! It’s not pleasant, she doesn’t really like it but she knows it must be done or go without. Will the proles in receipt of our money have to make such a sacrifice?

“The government has said people will not be forced to give back money if the overpayment is down to its mistake. “

Apparently not. Hang on though, this isn’t the government’s money this is our money. If I go into a shop to indulge in my penchant for Chocolate Buttons and I give them £100 when they are entitled to 30p I can rightfully expect the difference to be returned to me.

About 6 million people claim tax credits, so the overpayment is more like £330 per claimant, or a Sky TV subscription. Guttersnipe doesn’t have Sky, Guttersnipe is on a below average salary, Guttersnipe can’t event get the difference back on the £400+ overpayment that was taken in tax from him.

Twats!

Another Nail in Prescott's Coffin?

In amongst all the pressure of Prezza to resign Iain Dale has blogged on an explosion in the Prescott Circus. Apparently the Tories have got hold of the ODPM staff handbook.…. RESULT!

In this sacred tome of how to behave we get the following:

Staff Handbook: “You must not make inappropriate use of official time, information and resources of the Office… Inappropriate use means any use of official times, information and resources which: (a) is illegal, improper and/or unethical, (b) impedes the business of the Office…. (c) in any way contravenes the Office’s equal opportunities policy… (e) deliberately causes harm to ODPM information and resources” (Part A, Personal Conduct, p.6-7).“Official time, information and resources means all official time, services, materials and equipment provided for use on or relating to the official business of the Office and/or the Crown and (by way of illustration only) includes: … (k) accommodation, furniture and workspace, (l) public funds, (m) official time” (Part A, Personal Conduct, p.6-7).“Where a civil servant believes he or she is being required to act in a way which is illegal, improper or unethical… he or she should report the matter in accordance with procedures” (Part A, Personal Conduct, p.45).

And what happened? - “He would usually be going through his ministerial box. Things always started with us touching. It might have been me touching his arm, or him patting me on the back. We would kiss and things would go on from there. Sometimes it was behind the desk, but mainly we stood behind the open door. We were very lucky we were never caught as we never shut the door. I knew what we were doing was risky but we both got carried away” (Tracey Temple, cited in Daily Mail, 1 May 2006).“Miss Temple also claimed in her diary that their mutual admiration steamed over in another historic setting, the Admiralty Board Room, which the DPM uses as a conference room...”(Daily Telegraph, 1 May 2006)

Staff Handbook: "Conduct failing within the category of ‘intentional harassment, alarm or distress’ as defined in the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act will give rise to the commencement or internal disciplinary procedures and in serious cases could lead to criminal proceedings… Employer liability – in law an employer is responsible for the actions of all employees which occur in the course of their employment” (Part B, Working in the Office, p.25-26).

And what happened? “Their affection shocked staff. One woman colleague said she had seen Tracey nuzzle Mr Prescott’s neck in the lift. She said she thought it was ‘inappropriate’. Mr Prescott later laughed off the incident as a bit of messing about.” (Sunday Mirror 27 April 2006)

“extracts from diaries kept by Tracey Temple disclose how Mr Prescott repeatedly made advances towards her, despite her attempts to rebuff him,” (Mail on Sunday 7 May 2006)

Staff Handbook: “Alcohol is prohibited in some of the Office’s premises (see local instructions) and where there is no formal ban, line managers are expected to ensure that office parties do not cause disruption to the work of the office” (Part B, Office Policy on Alcohol, p.2).

And what happened? “John Prescott’s office sounded like a great place to work. Sometimes some of the staff would stay up drinking until 5.30am during the week then crash out at hotels” (Tracey Temple’s fiance, Barrie Williams, quoted in The Mirror, 27 April 2006).“Her diaries give the impression that it was nothing unusual for Mr Prescott’s staff to get drunk at office parties, some attended by Mr Prescott himself, and turn up for work with raging hangovers” (Mail on Sunday, 30 April 2006).”

Staff Handbook: “You must not attend in your official capacity a conference, seminar or other event convened by, or under the aegis of, a United Kingdom party political organisation” (Part B, Security & Confidentiality, p.17)

And what happened? - “Miss Temple spent much of last year’s 2005 General Election campaign on Mr Prescott’s battle bus as he toured marginal seats” (Daily Mail, 27 April 2006).

I think we have the documentary evidence required m’lud. Guttersnipe would have been fired for this, you would have been fired for this… why is this twat still being paid to play croquet? Although Guttersnipe is not sure whether he would prefer Prescott playing croquet or actually running the country.

Gordon Brown's Makeover Challenge

Abracadabra... and I'm cool

Fraser Nelson has some interesting views on the Chancellor this week.

Guttersnipe is a politics geek, and watches and reads a lot of politics stuff. There I have said it. Anyone who has been watching this stuff over the last few months cannot help but have noticed blatant attempts to make Gordon Brown look like a “pretty straight sort of guy”. They have been doing this much much more since David Cameron came on the scene.

They tried to paint the picture of the “Effete Etonian Tory Toff” but to no avail. Even ther Labour party have to admit Cameron is well…. He’s cool! So it’s all hands on deck to find some likeable aspect of the Chancellor. Yeah right.

Following on from having his teeth done and learning how to smile he’s now trying to tour the magazine circuit, but even here he’s not going in the right direction…

Cameron interviewed in GQ, Brown interviewed in New Woman…. See the difference? GQ all metro and style, New Woman all horoscopes and diets. Cameron’s just in a different league.

So when presented with New Woman what does he tell the supposed female elite? He tells them that he listens to the Arctic Monkeys… how contrived. What Bollocks. Cameron’s iPod boasts the Smiths, suddenly we all take note… he’s the right age to have grown up with Morrissey, he is in fact just like me whereas Brown is 55, only slightly younger than my benevolent father Count Guttersnipe. I can’t see Count Guttersnipe getting down to the Arctic Monkeys on a morning, the Monkees maybe but not their North Pole counterparts.

Gordon hasn’t come up with these ideas by himself, he’s clearly had help. That help should be fired. His first move was the wearing of pink ties… PINK TIES???? How 80s is that? Jesus! He may as well dress as Crockett and Tubs and have done with it.

Is there anything that can be done to make the Chancellor look cool? Guttersnipe doesn’t think so… do any of you?

You'll Have to Drag Prescott's Corpse from Dorneywood

From BBC:
Colin Brown said Mr Prescott, who will be 68 on Wednesday, was "angry with the way the press has treated him", was "determined to see it through" and "was not going to resign".

"He (Mr Prescott) insists that he's going to carry on, that there's no question of him giving up Dorneywood.
"He feels that if he gave up Dorneywood because of the press clamour, it would be salami slicing, and what would be next and who would be next?"

God willing he would be next. Prescott does seem to be getting very defensive about keeping his mansion… this is fairly typical of Old Labour types.

Before being an MP, as we all know, Prezza was a Steward on a cruise ship. There’s no way in hell that he could ever hope for 2 jags, a morally flexible PA and a country mansion. Not a chance… but Parliament offers him these perks.

Now compare that with the Tories… they mostly come from that “hated elite”, Fox was a GP, Cameron a PR executive and so forth. These are well paid jobs and if the Tories wanted money and perks, they wouldn’t have gone into politics.

Old Labour (not NuLab’s barrister types) comes from shop stewards, teachers, nurses, public servants, people who are never going to be able to afford these trappings outside government… ask yourself.. who’s going to be corrupt?

Polly Identifies Tory Achilles Heel - We're Screwed!

Polly is really scraping the barrel today when it comes to looking for some leftie brilliance to happy slap David Cameron’s well being stance. Today she has arts funding… there’s an election winner if ever I’ve seen one.

“The Brighton festival, which I chair, ended its three exuberant weeks on Sunday, celebrating a 40th anniversary as England's biggest arts festival, (second in Britain only to Edinburgh). Half a million people came to see performances from the highest to the lowest art, opening with a parade of 70 primary schools, all the children dressed as food. Was the high spot the Groupe F pyrotechnics arts performance, with 70,000 people out in Preston Park, or was it Dawn Upshaw singing in the Brighton Dome with the Australian Chamber Orchestra?”

Sounds right up Guttersnipe’s street… but I think the Reading festival, Glastonbury and most football matches attract a higher turnout and you have to pay for them… I doubt we’ll miss it. Still she’s not crowbarred politics in there yet or has she?

“These things bursting out up and down the land are as good a measure of wellbeing as any. But they all cost money. David Cameron is unlikely to pledge extra arts funding in pursuit of happiness: his one firm promise is that his tax-and-spend will be "dramatically different after five years".”

There she goes… art is dead under the Tories. Maybe he might be focussing on crime, health, education… any of these things sound important Poll? Eh?

“Labour has a good enough story to tell on the arts - up 64% in cash and more in impact. Chris Smith is one of the few politicians to retire knowing he has done something brilliant - restoring free entry to museums and galleries, swelling attendances by 50%.”

This is a classic piece of leftie spin and she’s swallowed quicker than if Gordon undid his trousers for her… Labour didn’t do some glorious revolution and “restore free entry to museums” they just ordered all the museums that they could to stop charging entry. They didn’t give them any more money, they justy pulled the fees. Collections such as the Royal Armouries, Imperial War Museum etc, are now losing out to private collectors and employing bottom rate people without an ounce of history knowledge like never before.

To add to this rant… what use to the museum is 50% more visitors if they can’t charge them? It’s no fecking use at all. She continues.. although in what direction I really don’t know.

“As part of the Brighton festival, John Carey debated his latest book, What Good Are the Arts? With witty iconoclasm he demolished any claim for their moral virtue. Forget any idea they make us "better" people: Nazi leaders played Beethoven and even Bach as they fed people into gas chambers. Hitler was a knowledgeable art lover.”

So the arts will not make society or us better… so I now don’t see the reason to state fund them.. do you?

“It's hard to know if Cameron's "happiness" was a one-day wonder or if it will be the stuff of real politics. If so, Labour should be able to knock him into nowhere with stories from the arts - whether it's art for art's sake, arts for regeneration and education or arts for illumination and exhilaration.

So her plan for “knocking Cameron into nothing” consists of free museum entry and 4 paragraphs on “Artists with Teachers”. Prescott’s probably safe then..

“Take all those high scorers in the felicific calculus, raise the stakes and challenge Cameron to tell us how he will offer all this extra happiness on his "dramatically different" tax and spend.”

I imagine that low crime, better healthcare and education might just swing it for us.. sadly Polly won’t be happy until there are more dissected sharks in Trafalgar Square.

More Prescott Doing Nothing

Going through Hansard for the Parliamentary nonsense round up I found this…

Andrew Rosindell: To ask the Deputy Prime Minister how much was spent on tree preservation orders in (a) Romford, (b) Havering and (c) Greater London in each of the past eight years. [67028]
Yvette Cooper: I have been asked to reply.
The information requested is not collected centrally and could be provided only at disproportionate cost.

So not only does Prescott not answer the question… but he delegates someone else to not answer the question for him. Well it would have interfered with his croquet game wouldn’t it? You would think he had the time to answer Written Parliamentary Questions since he's been stripped of most of his responsibilities. Alas not!

Home Office Nose Dive Gathers Pace

From the BBC on Saturday – “The home secretary is under fire amid claims that many foreign offenders have been freed from secure hospitals without deportation being considered. The Sun says police are seeking up to 500 former mental patients, including murderers, rapists and paedophiles.”

“No more cock ups” were the inspirational words of John Reid. Remember them? Here are some more words from our great lord and benevolent Scottish master:

Daily Mirror – May 23 – “In his first major interview since he took on the toughest job in government 19 days ago following a string of fiascos, he told the Mirror: "I'll f****** well work 18 hours a day to sort this out. I'll do whatever it takes to make the public feel safe and confident in the system because right now it's not good enough and they're being let down.”

So what was he doing on the 27th while all the would be deported loonies are roaming the streets shouting at pigeons and licking windows?

Sunday Telegraph – 28 May – “John Reid, the Home Secretary, has gone on holiday to France while his Whitehall department battles with a string of crises, The Sunday Telegraph has learned. He is not expected to return to Britain until after the Bank Holiday”

Says a lot doesn’t it? Guttersnipe is starting to get the impression that they know they’re toast at the next election so they’re just going to enjoy the tax payer funded perks while they’ve got them.

Not that I like to be fair to Labour ministers but this is actually the problem of the Department of Health and as such the responsibility of Comical Hewitt, obviously part of her “best year ever”. But wait? We’re not quite sure when this took place and who was HealthSec before Patsy? You guessed it dear Guttersnipes… John “That’s another fine mess” Reid.

You can’t make it up….

Best of British...

Guttersnipe has been away all weekend at the fabulous “Best of British” festival so apologies if the rants are about 3 day old subjects. They’re still good rants.

Details here.

During an entertaining demonstration of the Warwickshire Beagles Guttersnipe got the opportunity to rant with the dog handlers as to what a tosser John Prescott is.

We're Number 1

Further to the Spleen's appearance on the BBC, Guttersnipe is now proud to announce that the Spleen is the first choice when you Google the words labour tossers.

Why The Hell Are We Paying Galloway?

From The Independent:

In an interview with GQ magazine, the reporter asked him: "Would the assassination of, say, Tony Blair by a suicide bomber - if there were no other casualties - be justified as revenge for the war on Iraq?"Mr Galloway replied: "Yes, it would be morally justified. I am not calling for it - but if it happened it would be of a wholly different moral order to the events of 7/7. It would be entirely logical and explicable."

What a twat… I’m no fan of Blair, the astute amongst you may have heard me say “That Bastard Blair” after the occasional sweet sherry, but I’m hardly sanctioning his assassination. Jees….

Let’s approach this from a slightly different direction though shall we? Let’s ask the question:

"Would the assassination of, say, Saddam Hussein by a suicide bomber - if there were no other casualties - be justified as revenge for the gassing of the Kurdish people?"

What do you think his answer would be?

Now it gets worse…. Where do we find the honourable member for Bethnal Green and Bow? That’s right…. Cuba having dinner with Castro. Even Ken Livingstone hasn’t gone that far (yet!).

From the BBC: "Controversial British MP George Galloway has made a surprise appearance on live Cuban television. He defended Cuban President Fidel Castro against allegations made by a US magazine that he has amassed a personal fortune of $900m (£477m). "

£59,000 of our tax money per year goes to paying this tosser... I think it's only fair that we get something back. Unless he can prove to us that a good number of his constituents came to surgery and said "what we really want is you to go for a party with Commie dictators".

MPs should be serving the interests of their constituencies, ministers and frontbenchers (and shadow ministers and frontbenchers) should be serving the interests of the country at large. Galloway is doing neither, and yet we're paying him.

Oona King was on Question Time last night saying that she idn't feel hard done by losing her seat, she was pro-war and said to people if you don't agree then use your vote. However I would feel hard done by losing to Galloway. He takes no interest in his constituency, he takes no interest in Britain.

When he should be here

He's here

So much for RESPECT!

Wasn't Question Time Dull?

Well I watched Question Time last night and I was bored… bored to tears, I nearly swapped to watching Big Brother. While I respect Oona King, I thought that having her AND Hoon on the panel was just lining up Blair apologists and I was right.

A-lister Sayeeda Warsi developed as the show went on after a shaky start. By the end she was getting the lion’s share of the applause.

No boos for Hoon but he did get laughed down by the audience once.

Here are some of the comments of viewers, compare those about Hoon to those about Sayeeda Warsi.

“Text: I think there's something wrong with Hoon's microphone, it's switched on.”
“Text: Geoff Hoon's mouth moves like a Thunderbird's.”

“I think Sayeeda Warsi was an exceptional panel member tonight. She explained her points both intelligently and in a manner that the everyday person could understand. I would vote for this lady if she was in office because she is the sort of down-to-earth and plain-speaking candidate that the British public would follow.”
“Just a brief comment to say that Ms Warsi's comments were brilliant. I wish her all the best.”

More Good News for David Cameron

Following hot on the heels of the ICM/Guardian poll I blogged about a few days ago, today we have a good YouGov poll in the Telegraph. David Cameron must be spending his mornings pleasantly chuckling into his cornflakes while listening to his favourite Benny Hill tracks.

Conservatives – 38%
Labour – 32%
LibDem – 16%

Today the Conservatives have a 6 point lead over Labour, who are ‘enjoying’ (or at least Guttersnipe is), their worst polls since 1992.

It always worried me that disgruntled middle class Labour voters would register their discomfort with voting for the LibDems, however the poll shows that this isn’t the case. Only 16% polled would be voting LibDem, it shows that David Cameron is winning back the trust that used to be placed in the Conservative party.
This will be another unwelcome headache for Ming Campbell as the poll shows that despite 16% voting LibDem only 8% want to see him in Downing Street. I saw Nick Clegg on Question Time last night and felt that he would make a much better leader of the LibDems, so naturally I want Muppet Ming to stick around as long as possible.

Guttersnipes and Bloggers You Have 99 Days

Ladies and Gentlemen, Bloggers, Guttersnipes and Ranters please take note.

Yesterday John Reid - Minister for Utter Unbelivable Incompetence announced to all the UK presses that he would fix the system in 100 days. That was yesterday. He has 99 days left.

Friday 1st of September is his deadline! After that day we must all on mass point out every failing of the Home Office we can find. Send it to other bloggers, journalists, the Shadow Home Secretary and anyone who should receive it.

Are you with me?

Who is Reid Going to Blame For This?

There are so many debacles in the Home Office that I am running out of comedy pictures to accompany them. The fun just keeps coming from today’s Guardian:

"The Home Office's embarrassment over the foreign prisoners debacle deepened yesterday when it emerged that serious offenders who have been captured during the past month have since been released on bail. Those freed include a convicted murderer, a paedophile and a rapist. "

Reid can’t blame the Tories for this, it happened 10 days ago. He can’t blame Clarke for the same reason, this was on his watch. He can’t fire judges so I’ll bet he’s gunning for the civil servants now.

Labour have sat for 9 years in power and done nothing… they’ve just enjoyed power and by god they have enjoyed it. Unfortunately power goes hand in hand with responsibility and Labour have a total disregard for this.

Think twice before voting Labour next time… and remember this is what happens if you abstain.

Even More Home Office Clownery!

Just in case anyone believes John Reid when he says “No More Cock Ups” the Daily Mail is carrying this story… honestly I’m discovering a new Home Office scandal every 30 minutes. Somebody stop these people please….

“A group of asylum seekers who sought sanctuary from Colonel Gaddafi's Libya were yesterday arrested over claims they helped British-based suicide bombers attack coalition forces in Iraq.”
“More than 500 police officers (that’s the requirement for 10 anti-war protestors – RG), and the Immigration Service, were involved in raids at 19 different addresses across five force areas. "
“Three were being held under the Terrorism Act and five under the Home Secretary's powers to deport those whose presence in the UK is "not conducive to the public good for reasons of national security". “ – and yet they were granted asylum

Insiders said Home Office officials were "very nervous" about the case because at least five of the terror suspects are asylum seekers or were granted leave to remain in Britain.

I’ll bet they’re nervous. So far Reid has claimed absolutely no responsibility for his department. Instead he is lining up civil servants against the wall and shooting them.

One has apparently been lined up and shot because he gave the wrong figures to the Dr. Reid who then “unintentionally misled Parliament”. Given the debacle of the Home Office with people saying “we haven’t the faintest idea how many illegal immigrants there are”, Reid should really have double checked his figures.

Weekly Round Up of Parliamentary Nonsense V

Week 5 of the Round Up is showing us the Greg Barker has an ally in his crusade against chewing gum, armies like this should keep on growing.

Alison Seabeck: To ask the Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs what resources his Department has allocated to local authorities selected to participate in the campaign to reduce gum litter.

Mr. Drew: To ask the Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs what funding his Department allocated to Real Nappy Week 2006; and what assessment he has made of the impact of the event.

Mark Tami: To ask the Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs what estimate he has made of the number of mature oak trees in England and Wales in each of the last five years.

For some reason Hansard is now 2 days behind on its “Written Answers” – nice to see Parliamentary Transparency in action… doesn’t the Freedom of Information Act mean anything to these people?

Guttersnipe will report an extended Round Up next week.

Is Anyone in the Home Office Here Legally?

I have blogged frequently about the Home Office and not wishing to let a good rant subside I am going to continue. Regular Guttersnipes will recall that our benevolent Home Secretary came into his new job, adjusted the height of his fine office chair and declared “No More Cock Ups”. Well In the Sun (a newspaper for all good Guttersnipes):

"A SUSPENDED immigration chief facing a sex-for-visas probe was an illegal immigrant himself, The Sun can reveal. James Dawute, 53, is believed to have arrived from Ghana as a visitor, then stayed on unlawfully when his visa expired."

Not a good advert for Reidy’s new tough line on immigration I would think. Now also cast your mind back as far as the past 2 days when I called on civil servants to start leaking information. Well they’re starting to openly yet anonymously comment:

"Last night a senior Whitehall source admitted: “He should have been booted out.”. According to a furious whistleblower, Dawute arrived in Britain during the 1980s and remained when he should have left."

"Ex-Tory Home Office minister Ann Widdecombe said: “There is nothing left to surprise me.“This is a catalogue of scandal and foul-up. It wouldn’t shock me to learn the Home Secretary is an illegal immigrant.”" – Priceless!

Last night a Home Office spokesman said: “We do not comment on individual cases.”

Well be assured, Guttersnipe comments on individual cases and this one beggars belief. The only thing that convinces me that this is true is that you couldn’t make it up…

Calling All Guttersnipes - Sign This Petition

Click HERE to sign Martin Curtis’ petition to force an apology out of Cherie Booth:

"To: Number 10 Downing StreetWe believe that raising funds for the Labour Party by auctioning copies of the Hutton Report signed by Mrs Cherie Booth QC is an act of appalling bad taste and is disrespectful to the family of the late Dr David Kelly. We further demand that: • Mrs Cherie Booth QC publicly apologises for her conduct on this matter • The Prime Minister apologises for the misconduct of the Labour Party in this matter. • That the Labour Party donates any funds raised from the auction of this item to an appropriate charity, matched by a similar donation from Mrs Cherie Booth QC"

It’s unlikely that they will apologise.. after all to get anything out of Blair and Booth you’d have to stick fingers down their throats. But that’s not the point. If the idea of these people profiting from suicide and cover up then put your name to it.
These people stink, this whole thing stinks…. Get the petition big enough and the newspapers will follow it.

How to Solve the Immigration Problem

This is an extract from an email that appeared with me today:

"We know exactly where any untaxed car is located among the millions of Cars in Britain ......But we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.

Maybe we should put the DVLA in charge of immigration......."

I like the cut of this girl's jib.

Security Update: Breaking News from the Beeb...

Breaking news from the BBC

“Security plans for the Labour Party's autumn conference were left in a hotel bar in Manchester, it has emerged.

Greater Manchester Police said the force was handed documents for the party conference by a local newspaper. “

Could we get a report on where they’re planning to detain OAPs, Anti-War protestors and how many illegal immigrants are going to be employed in the staff?

Question Time Tonight.

Tonight’s Panel includes Geoff “I’ve got so little pride I can’t even stand up to Margaret Beckett” Hoon, Sayeeda Warsi – Tory Vice Chair, Oona King, Nick Clegg and historian Niall Ferguson.

I think the panel’s going to be a bit left heavy tonight with one Labour MP and one former Labour MP. I’ll be keeping a close eye on Sayeeda Warsi as she is on the A-List and a former candidate for seats near me.

Personally I’m not confident of her ability to overturn Shahid Malik in Dewsbury as he gets a hell of a lot more press coverage especially with it being one of the few areas where Labour gained seats in the Council elections. Still… good luck to her.

Hoon is bound to be a Labour apologist and I shall duly report on this tomorrow. Iain Dale may well do a live blog tonight... I'll be keeping a Boo count for Labour

We Need More Museums Like This...

Lady Guttersnipe has sent me the following interesting snippet:

From the Evening Standard:

“A theme park dedicated to sex is set to open in London’s West End. The Amora - The Academy of Sex & Relationships - will mark a departure from other sex museums by avoiding sleaze in favour of a series of interactive exhibits designed to improve visitors’ sexual understanding and performance.
The 10,000 sq ft attraction in the Trocadero will boast six “zones” covering everything from erotic fantasies to sexually transmitted diseases. The park’s owners, the Muse Corporation, expect more than 600,000 visitors in the first year.”

Now I’m not going to rant about the morals, ethics etc etc… Guttersnipe believes that if you object to these things then just don’t visit them… incidentally the same goes for Casinos.

No, I’m intrigued by the “series of interactive exhibits”. Are we able to pop into a booth for hand relief? I shudder to think….

I was going to stop there but it just gets better and better…

“Sexual chemistry, orgasms and foreplay will all be explained while visitors will be able to explore the body's erogenous areas using interactive dummies.”

Suddenly the stigma of using an inflatable woman is just swept away eh? If my spelling starts to get too bad, please forgive me, I’m just laughing too much.

“Other exhibits include latex body parts to enable you to "build" your ideal sexual partner,“

I’m assuming that they have the materials for a life sized model of Bree Van de Kamp. Failing that I always have the delightful Lady Guttersnipe – why would I want more? Although a second Lady Guttersnipe would allow me to do all those things that the real one won’t.

The next bit has had me reduced to a quivering wreck of my former self..

"and sexually accurate genital models to help men find their female partner's G-spot.”

Words fail me again…. This has to be worth a visit.

Hat Tip Nanny Knows Best for the pic:

National News Interest in CherieGate 2 - At Last!

Lord be praised... the Daily Mail have picke up the Cherie/Labour "profiting from suicide" story.

I'm surpised the Sun isn't onto this yet.

Bye Bye Ballsy

Us on the right have long been looking forward to the redrawing of the electoral boundaries. This is going to make the electoral system fairer as the movement of the population is taken into account. But better than that it’s likely to give the Conservatives around 22 more seats.

I wasn’t expecting any decent ministerial scalps to be claimed out of this but apparently I was wrong:

From BBCi:

“High-flying minister Ed Balls should definitely lose his constituency, says the Boundaries Commission.”

I couldn’t agree with them more, but probably for different reasons. I’ve nothing personal against Ed Balls but we Blues have to take victories where we can get them.

His seat is apparently to be absorbed into the Pontefract & Castleford seat of his wife, Yvette Cooper. After her performance turning Pontefract Castle’s St. George’s Day Festival into a “Vote Labour” photo opportunity and claiming that it was the result of Labour investment I’d rather she lost her seat than Ed.
But those are the breaks.

Does anyone else think it is odd that a commission ordered by Mr. Blair has claimed a staunch Brown ally as its first casualty? Guttersnipe thinks not.

What Are These People Really Looking For?

Like many bloggers I keep an eye on the weird and wonderful search terms that bring people to the Spleen.

Today at 1.30pm a visitor came via Google with the terms
"woman kneeing in bollocks stories"

I shudder to think

Blair Confronted About Signed Hutton Report

First Iain Dale raised his findings from the Mail on Sunday, Guttersnipe followed this and Devil’s Kitchen added much needed vitriol to my stunned silence.

Then Stewart Jackson tabled an EDM calling for an apology.

Yesterday the BBC made scant mention of the story and BBC London had a phone in about it.

At PMQs today Tory MP Robert Goodwill at last confronted the Prime Minister, and to my horror the PM said "I do not believe that any offence to anyone was intended."

WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING?

Moments later Ed Vaizey, The late Dr. Kelly’s MP, added in a point of order “"When the prime minister said no offence was intended to be caused by the sale of that document, I can assure him that it was caused."”

Damn right it was caused. I was offended, Devil’s Kitchen was offended, Iain Dale was offended, and most of the right leaning blogosphere was offended. I dread to think of the offence caused to Dr. Kelly’s family and friends.

I’m aware that this blog is read in the House, so please keep this going until someone apologises and explains their actions. It doesn't surprise me that nobody has yet, I'm more surprised by the fact that nobody has tried to blame the Tories for it - that seems to be the course for all these things so far.

A Message to All Civil Servants!

“Home Secretary John Reid has damned his department's immigration operation as "not fit for purpose"”

“Asked about the cabinet secretary's suggestion last week that no civil servants were likely to lose their job over the foreign prisoner releases, he said: "Don't count on it."”

“the Home Office could be "dysfunctional" and "wholesale transformation" was "probably" needed.”

Are you paying attention you fine people in our civil service? Can you see where the blame is being shovelled? Note the refusal to guarantee your jobs.

No Chief Exec would talk about his employees like that without consequences. Don’t stand for it. If you fancy leaking anything I’m sure David Davis would love to hear about it.

More Taking Advantage of the Dead

It seems that it's not just the Labour Party that want to turn someone's death to their advantage.

Following the tragic death of Eric Forth MP (Cons - Bromley and Chislehurst) the LibDem election machine is kicked into immediate gear and sends out the following email:

----------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: [LONDON-LDS] Bromley and Chislehurst update
From: "Pete Dollimore" < pete.dollimore@HILLINGDON.LIBDEMS.ORG>
Date: Mon, May 22, 2006 9:14 amTo: ld-londonactivists-l@LISTS.LIBDEMS.ORG.UK

... The local party want to clear the decks ready for what's expected to be a busy time. They would very much appreciate extra help to get their Thank You Focuses out in Town Ward and Plaistow and Sundridge wards.

Please call Toby Philpot on 07962 676897 if you can offer your help, and perhaps bring over a few of your colleagues from your local party?

There is a fast train service to Bromley South from London Victoria -- about 15 minutes journey time. There is also a stopping service on the same line, and others from London Blackfriars. Other stations in the constituency include Bickley and Bromley North (latter on a branch line).

No doubt Toby can provide extra information.

Thanks,
Pete-----

The small print: this email was sent using the Liberal Democrats' email list server. Visit http://lists.libdems.org.uk to find out more about the lists you can join or control your membership of the list.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks to Guido for the email. The contact details are all on there if you want to voice your horror. Ming has given them a telling off but I doubt they're listening. Rest In Peace Eric.

Stop Stealth Taxing Me!!!

I’m self employed, I pay National Insurance Contributions, I also work for a company and I pay National Insurance Contributions. I’ve done this partly because I have to, and partly because I might want a decent sized pension from the State and possibly benefits in the unlikely event of me not being able to work.

Well some months ago I tried to claim Job Seeker’s Allowance and failed. Now it would appear that I’ll not be getting the decent pension either according to the Telegraph today.

“Under the changes, people earning more than £18,000 a year will see a key element of their state pension provision - the State Second Pension - almost halved.
But there will be no reduction in their National Insurance contributions to reflect the sharp reduction in their weekly pension when they retire - leaving them paying thousands of pounds a year to the taxman for a benefit they will no longer receive.”

Great! I’m now paying the same money and getting half the benefits. No doubt the great unwashed who have never worked in their lives will be quite capable of affording Satellite TV, new phones, new trainers, a small army of children with untraceable fathers.

If I decided to drop my working week by half then my employer would only pay me half as he/she is only getting half the benefit. So why am I still paying full rates for half benefits?

I am so sick and tired of financing everybody else’s retirement as well as my own. It’s not just this… we, the taxpayers, are financing the public sector to retire at 60, we are bailing out the Royal Mail pension, the BT pension and probably others.

We’re not asking for a great deal… I just want my retirement to be my responsibility and everyone else’s to be theirs. National Insurance was set up as a state personal insurance scheme, now it's like paying home insurance in case your neighbour's house burns down.

UPDATE - James Cleverley has posted his usual wise words on this subject. This man would have made a good Mayor... shame on you Lewisham.

Hello Police State Part 2

These placards are illegal, have been removed and 2 people arrested. (BBC)

These placards are fine and no arrests were made.

Go figure..

Bloody Hell! - We're Even Ahead In The Guardian

An ICM Poll for the Guardian this morning makes interesting reading for members of Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition, it places the Tories at 38%, a four-point lead.
In addition to the voting intention section, participants were asked to rate the government’s performance out of 10 in several key areas:

“Labour scores 5.9 out of 10 on the economy, 5.2 on getting people off welfare and into work, and 5.3 on education. But confidence inside the party that the NHS will continue to be a vote winner for Labour is not reflected in the poll, with voters giving the party only 4.6 out of 10 for its record since 1997. Iraq, at 3.6 out of 10, and sleaze, 3.8, are both big weaknesses.”

Labour scored better than average in only 3 out of 11 areas. Iraq was always going to be a thorn in the party’s side but they have claimed in the past that they are the champions of public services. This is not borne out by the polls. Time for a change of leader? Not at all, similar questions were asked of an election with Gordon Brown at the helm and the Tories poll climbed to 40%.

Under Blair
Conservative 38%
Labour 34%
Lib Dem 20%

Under Brown
Conservative 40%
Labour 31%
Lib Dem 19%

Good news I think for those of us wanting a Land of Hope and Tory… I wonder what Polly makes of this.

Hutton Report Story Gathering Momentum

The story has been picked up by the Guardian. I would like to see more nationals running with this, such as The Times and the Telegraph (why is the Torygraph so silent? This is dynamite).

Martin Curtis on Spin Blog feels that the story will keep on creeping and not go away. I hope he is right.

*UPDATE* - The BBC are now running with this on their main site as opposed to just with Nick Assinder

The Escape Committee Identified

Ever since I blogged the “One a Week” prison escapes there’s been something bothering me, and it’s something other than the fact that the RAF managed fewer escapes in 6 years.

No it’s the types of prisoner that have escaped. I got this quote from the BBC coverage.

“But Lib Dem spokesman David Laws said that Parliamentary questions he asked had revealed that of the 393 who walked out of Leyhill, 22 were murderers, seven were rapists, five had manslaughter convictions, 24 were drug dealers, 57 convicted of robbery and 125 had committed burglary.”

Leyhill is, as I’m sure we’re all aware, an open prison.

WHAT THE HELL ARE 22 MURDERS, 7 RAPISTS, 24 DRUG DEALERS DOING IN AN OPEN PRISON???

No doubt the maximum security wings of Belmarsh and the Scrubs are filled up with motorists and pensioners.

John Reid is Inadequate - As If We Didn't Know

BBCi
“Mr Reid, home secretary for just over a fortnight, said: "It's [The Home Office] inadequate in terms of its scope, it's inadequate in terms of its information technology, leadership, management systems and processes.”

Inadequate leadership? Guttersnipe couldn’t agree more.

“It's not my job to manage this department - it's my responsibility to lead it." – John Reid

I refer the honourable gentlemen to the comments he made some moments ago.

Education Tennis Returns to Parliament

There’s going to be a neat distraction from the Home Office circus this week as the much emasculated Education Bill returns to the House of Commons for its final stages.

Once again this bill is likely to only see the light of day with Tory support. David Cameron announced he has a policy of avoiding “Punch and Judy” politics and a lot of people have interpreted this (the PM included) as being nice at PMQs. It isn’t, it’s about supporting good ideas regardless of the party that has tabled them. This is something that cannot be said of Labour as many of their rebels are opposing the bill simply because Tories are supporting it.

However I am wary of this because of that Tory support. Labour’s reaction to this will be to offer further concessions to left wing tub thumpers so that they don’t have to have the Tories involved and avoid party embarrassment. Well Guttersnipe says:

Bollocks to the embarrassment – think of all the little Guttersnipes.

Personally, I want to see all Tory support for this bill withdrawn the moment that the first concession is put in. The originator of this bill has been on record saying that it is nothing like the legislation he wished to put through.

If this bill is to be emasculated further then it should be filed in the bin.

Hutton Signing Debacle is Attracting Attention

The BBC is running with the story of Cherie's suicide inquest signing, but only on Nick Assinder's column. Come on Auntie this is news. My honourable colleague Iain Dale has called for as much of this debacle to be covered by the Blogosphere as possible since the newspapers don't seem to be going for it much. I am happy to oblige. Although I wouldn't refer to it as a gaffe, just as the disgusting crass cash in that it is.

Stewart Jackson, Conservative member for Peterborough has tabled an Early Day Motion. This is only going to get the comments of frontbenchers if the nationals pick it up. I wonder if she signed it in whitewash?

CONDUCT OF LABOUR HON. MEMBERS AT MAY 2006 FUNDRAISER
22.05.2006

Jackson, Stewart

That this House notes that senior members of the Labour Party including hon. Members and Government Ministers attended a party fundraising event last week at the Arts Club in Mayfair; further notes that a copy of the official report by Lord Hutton into the death of Government scientist Dr David Kelly, signed by Ms Cherie Booth QC, was auctioned for party funds raising £400; believes this conduct to be in appalling bad taste, arrogant and crassly insensitive in seeking to make money, albeit indirectly, through hawking, as a novelty item, an official Government report into the death of a public servant; regrets the distress caused to the family and friends of the late Dr Kelly; calls on the Labour Party to apologise for such tasteless and offensive conduct and to donate the money raised to an appropriate charity; and deprecates such conduct by hon. Members.

You've Got To Laugh

My fellow Blogger Ken Frost leads with a fantastic post this morning on Nanny Knows Best.

His writing style is generally very witty and amusing but today just has me in stitches. Keep up the good work Ken.

Shortest Tenure in Political History?

The Home Office juggling act continues as John Reid rearranges deck chairs and asks the band to play “Nearer My God to Thee”. Now we have a swap of ministers with McNulty moving from immigration to the police and Liam Byrne moving from the police to immigration after only 2 weeks in the job – is this a record for shortest serving minister?

David Davis has said “if Mr McNulty "is not good enough to run the immigration department, how will he be capable of running the police force?" A good question I think,

The Home Office replied with a statement saying that Mr. McNulty was the best man for the job, I recall them saying the same thing about Charles Clarke. Still it fits in with his skills, he can move from allowing immigrants to roam unchecked to allowing criminals to walk out of prisons.

They are missing an important point here though. These people might not be the best people for the job, they’re just the best people with Labour party membership that they have. The problem overhanging all this is the Labour attitude of micromanagement, state control and interference as well as their policy of using the public sector to keep their unemployment figures down and appease their trade union paymasters.

This shows no sign of abating and therefore I see the problem getting worse and worse.
The Home Secretary is facing MPs today… it will be interesting to see how many excuses he has left.

Mark Oaten's Dignity Part 2

I've just caught today's Daily Politics on broadband after my hard working day. When the honourable member for Winchester stepped up to the scales the commentary said:

"Mark wants to change his ways, make a new start... one without chocolate and chips"

I can think of a few other things he could probably cut out as well.

I've Always Thought This...

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"So, you're a cannibal."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

I Just Don't Know What To Say....

Iain Dale raised this earlier this morning, having spent quite some time trying to find the evidence of this story I admitted defeat. Iain is a man of integrity I believe however I have to back my rants up with evidence. Fortunately Iain has reprinted this piece from the Mail On Sunday.

"Cherie Blair was last night accused of 'bad taste' amd 'insensitivity'after helping the Labour Party to cash in on the suicide of Governmet scientist Dr David Kelly. Mrs Blair signed a copy of the Hutton Report into the weapons inspector's death, which was then auctioned off to raise money for the party. The document, which was also signed by Alastair Campbell, fetched £400 at an after dinner auction.

Last night Reg Keays, whose Red Cap son Tom was killed by an Iraqi mob in 2003 said: "Cherie and Campbell have shown very bad taste. The coffins draped in the Union flag are still returning from Iraq. To auction off a report which inquired into the suicide of a very eminent, respected scoientist is effectively profting from other people's misery. But themn that is just typical of this government's attitude."

Mrs Blair also came under fire from Labour MPs, shocked at the way the tragedy which rocked the government was now the subject of jokey fundraising events. Jeremy Corbyn MP said: "It is incredibly insensitive and in seriously bad taste. The Hutton Report is not a triumph of anything except obfuscation and secrecy."

The auctioneer was Rhondda MP Chris Bryant who explained to the audience this was not the first time a Hutton Report had been sold for party funds.

To excite interest in the sale he pointed out that even unsigned copies cost £70 from HMSO. He boasted that at the previous event the buyer was able to make a profit by reselling the document signed by Alastair Campbell on Ebay. "

I really, really don’t know what to say…

*UPDATE* - As I say above I don't know what to say.... however Devil's Kitchen does, and in his usual fantastic command of the English language.

The Great Escape

I make no apologies for continuing a Home Office theme today, after all I have an absolute wealth of material as you can see below. In this post I’m going to look at escaped prisoners. You would think that they wouldn’t want to escape since they could probably get £2.8 million just by attempting to commit suicide.

But no, some of them long for their freedom, 393 of them in fact. There is a report on the BBC saying that “393 prisoners have absconded since 1999” – notice they stress 1999? Over seven years isn’t a big deal is it? Well yes it is. They are losing one per week, yes ONE PER WEEK.

How can this be? The basic job of the prison service is to keep prisoners out of society. Not to give them aromatherapy classes, canoeing holidays and so forth, it is to keep these people locked up.

Schools don’t manage to lose one person a week, hospitals don’t lose a patient a week, and multi storey car parks aren’t reporting one car stolen per outlet per week. There is no excuse.
The very idea that we cannot get a fundamental change in the management scares the hell out of me. I’m not sure how many murderers are going to be free to kill me between now and then.

Home Office Catalogue of Catastrophe

A few weeks ago when John Reid took over the Home Office he proceeded to blame everything on Charles Clarke, the Tories, anyone but Labour. He then said “No More Cock-Ups”, you may have seen me blog reference to this already.

Well since he has been in charge we have the following, and I’d like to stress these are since he’s been in charge:

"A 'sex-for-asylum' scandal at the UK's largest immigration processing centre has been uncovered by an Observer investigation, piling more pressure on a government already reeling from a series of Home Office bungles." - The Observer

"Nearly 1,500 people have been wrongly labelled as criminals by the Criminal Records Bureau (CRB), it has emerged. The Mail on Sunday said the mistakes had led to some people being turned down for jobs or university places." - BBCi

"More than 230 foreigners identified by MI5 and Scotland Yard as suspected terrorists have been allowed to stay in Britain as asylum seekers." - Sunday Times

David Roberts, of the Immigration and Nationality Directorate (IND), said there was little point hunting individuals who overstayed their visas. He also said he did not have the "faintest idea" how many illegal immigrants there were in the UK. BBCi

“The Home Office has come under fire over fresh allegations involving the five immigrant workers arrested at its immigration offices this week. “
“But a statement given by Techclean, the company who employed the five workers, says the workers had been with them for some time. "Each of the five individuals has worked at the premises of the IND on a number of occasions; one of them for about three years,"” - InTheNews

Of course it’s not all Home Office lunacy… Wat Tyler features this today:

"The Immigration and Nationality Directorate (IND) is so lost about its role that it hired management consultants at a cost of £21m last year to work out what it is supposed to be doing. The result? A lot of cartoons, some graffiti and various squiggles in what may be one of the most bizarre reports ever seen in Whitehall. Executives were invited to scribble their thoughts on a “graffiti wall” and were divided into five teams that “moved between themed rooms”. They had to imagine time-travelling to 2010 — when the IND would, apparently, be a roaring success — and visualise how they had got there." (Sunday Times 21.5.06)

and to think…. We can’t get rid of them for 3-4 years. Think about that.

Is the A-List a Bad Idea?

I make no apologies for my shallowness here... no apologies at all!

I have to say that if the Conservative A-List is going to get devilish honeys like Louise Bagshawe pictured right into the House of Commons then I am all in favour of it...

Can we please get Victoria Coren on there... preferably in a Yorkshire marginal.. say Elmet?

All your recommendations for honeys to appear on the Conservative benches in the comments please. I shall post my personal top 5 next week. In the meantime I am going for a lie down.

If I Get Any Angrier I'll Explode!

There is quite a lengthy article in the Times today concerning prisoner compensation… yes you read me correctly, prisoner compensation. Apparently we’re spending quite a lot on it. I stress WE are spending, the Home Office is moving our money around to make criminals richer.

Some of these will make your blood boil, which sadly is not something they’re compensating…

“Among personal injury claims made was one by a prisoner who had had his finger bitten off by a horse.” – How in the name of God does this happen? We are either jailing horses in Wormwood Scrubs, locking prisoners in stud farms or allowing prisoners horse-riding excursions. I think it’s the third don’t you? My suggestion to all you out in suburbia is that when your daughter wants a pony, tell her to rob a bank.

“Personal injury can cover a multitude of sins: slipping or falling down stairs, a chair collapsing, falling off a ladder or through a ceiling” – There was a time when this was a standard method of police interrogation, now it’s a way of making crime pay.

“One prisoner received £2.8 million compensation after a failed suicide attempt” – yes lets’s read that again… “One prisoner received £2.8 million compensation after a failed suicide attempt,” – A failed suicide attempt. This wasn't an accident, he attempted suicide. Just because he’s too stupid to kill himself we reward him with £2.8 million. You’ll note that a victim of attempted murder doesn’t get this. Bereaved families of the 7/7 bombings get £11,000 and the seriously injured can have a maximum £500,000.

This makes me so fucking angry I’m going to end up in the Scrubs myself, but frankly I’m past caring with these people. Here are a few of the things the government have had to say on Crime and Justice over the past few weeks:

“"The demands of the majority of the law-abiding community have to take precedence,"” – Tony Blair Source

“"It's so important that I came here on the first day in the job to learn from people here how this process of detection, detention and deportation is going, and obviously to signal to the public that I regard this as my highest priority."” - John Reid Source

BOLLOCKS!

As I round this off I’d like to remind all you Guttersnipes here of the initial inspirational rant of Tim Worstall which led to me starting this blog. It would appear now that prisoners can have £20m in compensation but posted not one month ago:

“Spending on compensation paid to those wrongly convicted of crimes is to be cut by £5m a year, Home Secretary Charles Clarke has announced.”

Why We're Not Looking for Illegal Immigrants

Well as I was sitting in the car last night I caught the news and the arrest of 5 illegal immigrants working in the Home Office. Laugh? I nearly stood for Parliament.

May I remind you of the words of the director of Immigration and Nationalty Directorate…

“Earlier this week a director at the IND caused a row after saying he did not have the "faintest idea" how many illegal immigrants were in the UK.”

In the words of time-honoured panto… THEY’RE BEHIND YOU!!!

“The Home Office said: "These individuals were the employees of a firm contracted to provide cleaning services. It is policy that all employees and contracted employees working in Immigration and Nationality Directorate (IND) buildings have security and employment checks carried out, which include checks on their immigration status. “

Well here we see the standard NuLab trick of blaming somebody else while claiming to take responsibility. I’m surprised they didn’t just say “They were employed by the Tories”. But the fact is they have said above that all contracted employees are checked, well they clearly weren’t. Another Home Office came to the defence:

“A Home Office spokesman said the Nigerian cleaners were arrested on their first day after standard checks.”

So here we have it… this was on Reid’s watch, he can’t blame this on Michael Howard, he can’t blame this on Charles Clarke. I hope that opposition MPs are going to keep at this point. Illegal immigration is a real problem in this country but this government has always avoided dealing with it by using the racism card or the Human Rights Act. Well now it’s coming back to bite them, and it’s probably not had a rabies jab.

Let me remind you of Dr. Reid's words that I blogged earlier when he took over the job:

"And they [the public] rightly believe that official systems in my new department, paid for by their taxes, shouldn't cock up systemically. "They believe the present situation isn't good enough and I agree with them.""

Care to eat these words John? I believe their less than 5% fat...

Red Ken Talking More Bollocks

Apparently Red Ken Livingstone has been sticking his foot it in his mouth again. I, for one, wish he'd leave it there.

In today's Independent he is in defence of Chairman Mao Tse-Tung, obviously a rather misunderstood genocidal dictator. Still Ken does like to hang around with them doesn't he?

"Asked about his attitude to regimes alleged to abuse human rights (the Tory questioner cited China and Venezuela) Ken claimed Mao's cultural revolution was "justified", because it improved chiropody. "One thing that Chairman Mao did was to end the appalling foot binding of women," he announced. "That alone justifies the Mao Tse-tung era.""

That alone justifies the Mao era? For those unfamiliar with Mao, he was the brains behind Communist invasions in the 50s and 60s more commonly known as the Korean and Vietnam Wars. He was responsible for the deaths of 70 million people. I imagine a great many of those were women.

This is like saying Nazi rule was justified because it gave Germany motorways and the Volkswagen Beetle, Mussolini was fine because he got the trains running on time, or Stalin getting truck production up. What the hell is this man thinking?

Note that his stance on women's rights doesn't extend to the Middle East where he is happy for them to be stoned to death for being raped. Twat!

There used to be a time when it was the Royal Family offending the world on our behalf. Now it's the mayor of London. Dick Whittington must be spinning in his grave.

Goodbye Liberal Democrats...

BBC:
"The owners of cars which generate the most pollution would face annual road taxes of £2,000 under Liberal Democrat plans to tackle climate change. "

Goodbye electoral chances then.... it's precisely this sort of knee jerk bollocks that the Tories are avoiding by having an 18 month policy review. Rather than announcing something that has been completely thought through... or thought through at all.

The Real Alternative? to what? sanity?

U-Turn on Pensions?

From BBCi:

"Work & Pensions Secretary John Hutton will say later that women and other carers may be given enhanced national insurance credits.

This could mean working for fewer years to gain the full state pension. "

So what was the point of equalising the state retirement age then? Surely there's some element of the Sex Discrimination Legislation that covers this. When does equality actually mean equality for these idiots?

Twats!