BACK! I have absolutely no idea how long for but back all the same with the good news that the international community is taking action to get our sailors released.
BBC: The UN Security Council has agreed a statement voicing "grave concern" at Iran's capture of 15 British sailors.
It also calls on Tehran to allow the UK consular access to the personnel.
Well bugger me…. I bet the Iranians are fecking shitting themselves now aren’t they? The UN using its own Weapon of Mass Destruction - the strongly worded letter. I’m surprised it’s not signed “Disgusted of Chipping Norton”. Fucking pussies!
The statement is a watered-down version as the UK wanted it to "deplore" Iran's detention of the Britons and call for their immediate release.
Oh for fuck’s sake, clearly they felt that the strongly worded letter was an over the top response to hostage taking by a Foreign power hell bent on wiping Israel (another UN member) off the map. So they’ve watered it down to the diplomatic equivalent of getting your work back with a C- and “could do better” written on. Fucktards!
Fucking cracking in a crisis aren’t they? You can just imagine the International Terrorism Hotine ringing and them all shouting “Quick Boy Wonder… to the BatFax!”. You all make me fucking sick!
The UK wanted to deplore the Iranians? Deplore? It’s hardly DefCon 1 is it? What must the Iranians be thinking? I’ll bet it’s not along the lines of “Prepare for a kicking… they could move to deplore at any time”!
Sir Emyr added that it sent the "right message" to Iran to allow access to the sailors and marines, and secure their prompt release.
The right fucking message? The right fucking message? The only message this document is going to give is along the lines of “Here guys… we hear you’re running low on bog roll out there in the Middle East so we sent you this”.
Let’s compare the messages we’ve sent in history:
30 April 1980 - Terrorists take 26 hostages in the Iranian Embassy
5 May 1980 - Margaret Thatcher sends in the SAS and 5 out of 6 of them are shot.
Time taken - 6 days.
23 March 2007 - Iran takes 15 hostages in the Persian Gulf
30 March 2007 - UN send them a press release and Tony Blair can’t even get the UN to say they object
Time taken - 7 days and counting.
Former British ambassador to Iran Sir Richard Dalton told Newsnight the situation could take some time to resolve.
"Either they can accede to the demand that they release these people or they can put them, as they've threatened, in front of some form of legal proceeding," he said.
Quick, Guttersnipes…. If we can find some evidence of tax evasion amongst these 15 marines, Gordo will have them back here in a flash.